the failed sexcapades thread

[Oz10]

^ this. lol



Remembered another.

Back when I had my Mustang me and my hook up girl were riding around, and bein the ho she was she starts rubbin on my dick and what, gets me hard. So I get my dick out and start getting road head, damn good btw, and get in the mood and was also struggling to drive my five speed while getting such satisfactory head. So we pull into the church parking lot by my house lol and i start undressing her AND SHE WHIPPED OUT A FUCKING DICK!! lol jp bout that part but for real we start fuckin and end up in the backseat so I get in a good spot and start some good fapfapfap. As the fapping continues I pause momentarily to change position bang me head hard as shit on the back little quater window get a knot on my head and crack the little fucking window but the show must go on, so we finished I took her trashy ass home, went back to my place and downed some advil

Wow that story is complete bullshit and you know it. I'll redeem this thread with a REAL sex story....

In my younger years I ended up in the male escort business for about six months. A friend of mine was doing it through cowboysforangels.com and he was really making a lot of cash, so I figured I'd give it a try. The clientèle was mostly female (35-65) and some of these ladies were crazy wealthy. As I worked my way up in the escort game I eventually got the opportunity to make A LOT more money, but I started getting a lot of male customers too. It kind of bugged me at first, but after a few weeks I decided I really couldn't complain when I thought about the money I was making (in the thousands every night). But one night sticks out BY FAR as one of the most traumatic and regrettable nights of my life...

It was a typical Thursday night, some fat old douche, took me out to dinner in his corvette. He wanted it to seem like a real date and it was my job to smile at all of his George Bush jokes. So anyways we end up back at his house, it was one of those huge places in that fancy neighborhood off Sugarloaf. So he tells me he wants me to suck him off. I'm a straight guy, but I know my way around a dick. So I'm doing my thing, whatever. He's doing his creepy old guy thing so I try to avoid eye contact, he kept calling me his son, which is completely fucked up, but it is actually pretty common with those types of clients. So after about 25-30 minutes he says he's about ready to finish and he tells me he wants to bust on my face. Not an uncommon request, so I tell him to let me know when he's ready. A couple minutes later he's ready to go so I pull his fat nasty dick out of my mouth and let him do his thing. He starts to blow his load on me and he starts pelvic thrusting in sheer homo-erotic bliss. His pelvic thrusts get increasing exaggerated and he starts getting really close to my face with his bits and pieces. he seems like he's about done and as the last little bit comes out he does one more HUGE pelvic thrust and actually STABS ME IN THE EYE WITH HIS DICK. I fell to my back, clutching my eye, covered in semen and screaming at the top of my lungs. I had had enough of his fucked up pseudo-incest/homo fantasy and my eye was seriously THROBBING with pain. So I wash myself off as best as I could grab my shit and storm out of his house. It was a long fucking walk to the entrance of the neighborhood (I couldn't cut through yard or anything to get out since its a gated community). I still hadn't been able to open my eye and I was started to get worried that I had undergone permanent damage. I called a taxi service that was in my phone (it wasn't the first time I had fucked up shit happen on the job and needed to dip out with the quickness). The trip home was rather uneventful. When I got home I took a shower and went to bed, hoping my still unopenable eye would be better in the morning...

I got up the next morning and I could barely see out of the eye in question. I looked in the mirror and my eye and the area surrounding it was all swollen, black and blue. I called the agency I was working for and told them that I had to quit, I didn't tell them what happened because I REALLY didn't want the story to get out or for ANYONE to know what happened. They must have sensed the seriousness in my voice, because they didn't ask any questions. Plus I'm pretty sure escort jobs are kind of like a revolving door, most people can't put up with all the shit for long. Anyways, after a few days my eye was still pretty fucked up, but my vision was getting better and I knew there wouldn't be any lasting physical damage. However, mentally the damage was deep, I was scarred for life and I knew it. After a few weeks my eye was close to normal and I ended up getting a job at the mall.

I have NEVER told ANYONE this story, but its finally time for me to come clean. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn from my mistakes.

[pimpdaddy]

Wow that story is complete bullshit and you know it. I'll redeem this thread with a REAL sex story....

In my younger years I ended up in the male escort business for about six months. A friend of mine was doing it through cowboysforangels.com and he was really making a lot of cash, so I figured I'd give it a try. The clientèle was mostly female (35-65) and some of these ladies were crazy wealthy. As I worked my way up in the escort game I eventually got the opportunity to make A LOT more money, but I started getting a lot of male customers too. It kind of bugged me at first, but after a few weeks I decided I really couldn't complain when I thought about the money I was making (in the thousands every night). But one night sticks out BY FAR as one of the most traumatic and regrettable nights of my life...

It was a typical Thursday night, some fat old douche, took me out to dinner in his corvette. He wanted it to seem like a real date and it was my job to smile at all of his George Bush jokes. So anyways we end up back at his house, it was one of those huge places in that fancy neighborhood off Sugarloaf. So he tells me he wants me to suck him off. I'm a straight guy, but I know my way around a dick. So I'm doing my thing, whatever. He's doing his creepy old guy thing so I try to avoid eye contact, he kept calling me his son, which is completely fucked up, but it is actually pretty common with those types of clients. So after about 25-30 minutes he says he's about ready to finish and he tells me he wants to bust on my face. Not an uncommon request, so I tell him to let me know when he's ready. A couple minutes later he's ready to go so I pull his fat nasty dick out of my mouth and let him do his thing. He starts to blow his load on me and he starts pelvic thrusting in sheer homo-erotic bliss. His pelvic thrusts get increasing exaggerated and he starts getting really close to my face with his bits and pieces. he seems like he's about done and as the last little bit comes out he does one more HUGE pelvic thrust and actually STABS ME IN THE EYE WITH HIS DICK. I fell to my back, clutching my eye, covered in semen and screaming at the top of my lungs. I had had enough of his fucked up pseudo-incest/homo fantasy and my eye was seriously THROBBING with pain. So I wash myself off as best as I could grab my shit and storm out of his house. It was a long fucking walk to the entrance of the neighborhood (I couldn't cut through yard or anything to get out since its a gated community). I still hadn't been able to open my eye and I was started to get worried that I had undergone permanent damage. I called a taxi service that was in my phone (it wasn't the first time I had fucked up shit happen on the job and needed to dip out with the quickness). The trip home was rather uneventful. When I got home I took a shower and went to bed, hoping my still unopenable eye would be better in the morning...

I got up the next morning and I could barely see out of the eye in question. I looked in the mirror and my eye and the area surrounding it was all swollen, black and blue. I called the agency I was working for and told them that I had to quit, I didn't tell them what happened because I REALLY didn't want the story to get out or for ANYONE to know what happened. They must have sensed the seriousness in my voice, because they didn't ask any questions. Plus I'm pretty sure escort jobs are kind of like a revolving door like my asshole, most people can't put up with all the shit for long. Anyways, after a few days my eye was still pretty fucked up, but my vision was getting better and I knew there wouldn't be any lasting physical damage. However, mentally the damage was deep, I was scarred for life and I knew it. After a few weeks my eye was close to normal and I ended up getting a job at the mall.

I have NEVER told ANYONE this story, but its finally time for me to come clean. I feel like a massive load has been lifted off my chest. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn from my mistakes.

LOL, dont think I can top that

[87 Turbo II]

Wow that story is complete bullshit and you know it. I'll redeem this thread with a REAL sex story....

In my younger years I ended up in the male escort business for about six months. A friend of mine was doing it through cowboysforangels.com and he was really making a lot of cash, so I figured I'd give it a try. The clientèle was mostly female (35-65) and some of these ladies were crazy wealthy. As I worked my way up in the escort game I eventually got the opportunity to make A LOT more money, but I started getting a lot of male customers too. It kind of bugged me at first, but after a few weeks I decided I really couldn't complain when I thought about the money I was making (in the thousands every night). But one night sticks out BY FAR as one of the most traumatic and regrettable nights of my life...

It was a typical Thursday night, some fat old douche, took me out to dinner in his corvette. He wanted it to seem like a real date and it was my job to smile at all of his George Bush jokes. So anyways we end up back at his house, it was one of those huge places in that fancy neighborhood off Sugarloaf. So he tells me he wants me to suck him off. I'm a straight guy, but I know my way around a dick. So I'm doing my thing, whatever. He's doing his creepy old guy thing so I try to avoid eye contact, he kept calling me his son, which is completely fucked up, but it is actually pretty common with those types of clients. So after about 25-30 minutes he says he's about ready to finish and he tells me he wants to bust on my face. Not an uncommon request, so I tell him to let me know when he's ready. A couple minutes later he's ready to go so I pull his fat nasty dick out of my mouth and let him do his thing. He starts to blow his load on me and he starts pelvic thrusting in sheer homo-erotic bliss. His pelvic thrusts get increasing exaggerated and he starts getting really close to my face with his bits and pieces. he seems like he's about done and as the last little bit comes out he does one more HUGE pelvic thrust and actually STABS ME IN THE EYE WITH HIS DICK. I fell to my back, clutching my eye, covered in semen and screaming at the top of my lungs. I had had enough of his fucked up pseudo-incest/homo fantasy and my eye was seriously THROBBING with pain. So I wash myself off as best as I could grab my shit and storm out of his house. It was a long fucking walk to the entrance of the neighborhood (I couldn't cut through yard or anything to get out since its a gated community). I still hadn't been able to open my eye and I was started to get worried that I had undergone permanent damage. I called a taxi service that was in my phone (it wasn't the first time I had fucked up shit happen on the job and needed to dip out with the quickness). The trip home was rather uneventful. When I got home I took a shower and went to bed, hoping my still unopenable eye would be better in the morning...

I got up the next morning and I could barely see out of the eye in question. I looked in the mirror and my eye and the area surrounding it was all swollen, black and blue. I called the agency I was working for and told them that I had to quit, I didn't tell them what happened because I REALLY didn't want the story to get out or for ANYONE to know what happened. They must have sensed the seriousness in my voice, because they didn't ask any questions. Plus I'm pretty sure escort jobs are kind of like a revolving door, most people can't put up with all the shit for long. Anyways, after a few days my eye was still pretty fucked up, but my vision was getting better and I knew there wouldn't be any lasting physical damage. However, mentally the damage was deep, I was scarred for life and I knew it. After a few weeks my eye was close to normal and I ended up getting a job at the mall.

I have NEVER told ANYONE this story, but its finally time for me to come clean. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn from my mistakes.

Sorry about your eye son, my pelvic thrusts have a mind of their own.

[Oz10]

Sorry about your eye son, my pelvic thrusts have a mind of their own.

If your age on here is right you were about 12 when this happened. Real cute junior.

[87 Turbo II]

If your age on here is right you were about 12 when this happened. Real cute junior.

if this actually happened that is haha

[Papa_Smurf]

I'm a straight guy, but I know my way around a dick.

[Slomaro Z28]

I'm a straight guy, but I know my way around a dick.

Wonder how many people will quote that in their sigs..........

[Papa_Smurf]

Wonder how many people will quote that in their sigs..........

i was first