the failed sexcapades thread

[stormcrow]

^ this. lol



Remembered another.

Back when I had my Mustang me and my hook up girl were riding around, and bein the ho she was she starts rubbin on my dick and what, gets me hard. So I get my dick out and start getting road head, damn good btw, and get in the mood and was also struggling to drive my five speed while getting such satisfactory head. So we pull into the church parking lot by my house lol and i start undressing her AND SHE WHIPPED OUT A FUCKING DICK!! lol jp bout that part but for real we start fuckin and end up in the backseat so I get in a good spot and start some good fapfapfap. As the fapping continues I pause momentarily to change position bang me head hard as shit on the back little quater window get a knot on my head and crack the little fucking window but the show must go on, so we finished I took her trashy ass home, went back to my place and downed some advil

wait, wut? you were banging a chick and then decided to whack it? that or you don't know the meaning of "fap"... to fap, my good sir, is to whack off.

[pimpdaddy]

i've easily maneuvered my small cock into many tight, sticky situations in which many of you can't even imagine.

I hate reading posts when I know all the details. Dog vaginas don't count. Stop whackin it to dog porn man. Even Michael (Jackson) wasn't that bad.

wait, wut? you were banging a chick and then decided to whack it? that or you don't know the meaning of "fap"... to fap, my good sir, is to whack off.

Actually I didn't know that, but when saying fap it seems to be an accurate onomatopoeia for the sound of fucking, but i guess it also pretty accurately describes the sound of chokin it