the failed sexcapades thread

[pimpdaddy]

Thread for funny sexcapade failures. I'll start...



So a few years back my at the time girlfriend was staying with me and when we woke we had the idea to fuck in the shower. Well before that happened, I took a shit (shoulda used another toilet) and it was a winner! so a little time passed and we go in the shower and things start steamin up (pardon the pun) including my stinky shit lol and we start the fore play and then get to the business. I feel a fart come on but it felt like it was gunna be a little wet but I figured since I shat not too long before that I was in the clear. WRONG!!! mid poundage I release and shit myself in my shower. My gf gets completely grossed out walks out of the shower gets dressed and leaves, the next day she calls me and dumps me hahaha



anyway, embarassing I know but it happens to the best of us, lets hear it!

[Elbow]

My ex and I were fucking and I had to take a shit as well. Well I had this issue a while back where I couldn't hold it in for long if I had to shit. Well we were close to being done and ending it now would be dumb as fuck to just get up to take a shit. Well it was right before I came, she went down on me for some reason not knowing and had m balls in her mouth (she was a slut) well when she stroked it and ball sucked I came and the pressure made me release my shit all over her lower chin, bad part is she didn't even realize it until after she kind of sat up. She didn't dump me and told me it was something we would work on..she was a SLUT...

[EL42]

Thread for funny sexcapade failures. I'll start...
So a few years back my at the time girlfriend was staying with me and when we woke we had the idea to fuck in the shower. Well before that happened, I took a shit (shoulda used another toilet) and it was a winner! so a little time passed and we go in the shower and things start steamin up (pardon the pun) including my stinky shit lol and we start the fore play and then get to the business. I feel a fart come on but it felt like it was gunna be a little wet but I figured since I shat not too long before that I was in the clear. WRONG!!! mid poundage I release and shit myself in my shower. My gf gets completely grossed out walks out of the shower gets dressed and leaves, the next day she calls me and dumps me hahaha
anyway, embarassing I know but it happens to the best of us, lets hear it!

if this was a competition you won.

[pimpdaddy]

My ex and I were fucking and I had to take a shit as well. Well I had this issue a while back where I couldn't hold it in for long if I had to shit. Well we were close to being done and ending it now would be dumb as fuck to just get up to take a shit. Well it was right before I came, she went down on me for some reason not knowing and had m balls in her mouth (she was a slut) well when she stroked it and ball sucked I came and the pressure made me release my shit all over her lower chin, bad part is she didn't even realize it until after she kind of sat up. She didn't dump me and told me it was something we would work on..she was a SLUT...

lol gotta mark that territory. I'm gunna start shitting on all my girlfriends for said reason.

[slostang]

i was pounding my ex one day and stopped mid hump balls deep and blew out the biggest fart of my life and continued to pound. it was epic.

[browningboy7]

Me and my gf at the time had one of those like "heat of the moment" half clothed sex moments so I still had my pants around my ankles, After we were done I had to piss like no other I jumped to the end of my bed and tripped over my pants...My door was like half open and I nailed my forehead right into the door and was knocked out cold for a good 60 seconds.

[pimpdaddy]

i was pounding my ex one day and stopped mid hump balls deep and blew out the biggest fart of my life and continued to pound. it was epic.

Your not a real man unless you do that with every girl at some point lol

Me and my gf at the time had one of those like "heat of the moment" half clothed sex moments so I still had my pants around my ankles, After we were done I had to piss like no other I jumped to the end of my bed and tripped over my pants...My door was like half open and I nailed my forehead right into the door and was knocked out cold for a good 60 seconds.

pretty epic, did you piss on the floor in your knocked outness?

[browningboy7]

Your not a real man unless you do that with every girl at some point lol




pretty epic, did you piss on the floor in your knocked outness?

Slightly.....

[Mr Egg Rollllll]

A few years ago I was drunk at a party and had taken this girl back to my apt...we were going at it, and I had to cum, but didn't want to stop fucking.

I pulled out, came beside the bed, then tried to stick it back in....

Softness ftl...



Wtf was I thinking?

[00GTisME]

on some virgin shit, coudnt get it in for like 3 months. Surprised she didnt leave me but I really thought something was wrong with me lol

[SLo_MKIII]

wow i didnt know this was such a popular topic. yall are fucking disgusting lmao

[5speed]

This is some funny shit!...no pun intended. i am so glad I have never had a problem. Now that I say that something will happen...shit lol

[Elbow]

Real shit once we were going at it for a while and I didn't want to cum so I was like "Ok I'm going to cum twice".......I finished her and went to bed.

[pimpdaddy]

A few years ago I was drunk at a party and had taken this girl back to my apt...we were going at it, and I had to cum, but didn't want to stop fucking.

I pulled out, came beside the bed, then tried to stick it back in....

Softness ftl...



Wtf was I thinking?

You really gotta like a girl to go two times back to back. sotfness ftl fo sho.

[Mr Egg Rollllll]

You really gotta like a girl to go two times back to back. sotfness ftl fo sho.

I didn't know her name...

[pimpdaddy]

hahaha repped fo sho

[JJSPEC Racing]

I was into it pretty heavy a long time ago in a hotel bed with my feet at the head of the bed and knocked the headboard off the wall. We threw it out the way and kept on trucking. Thankfully it didnt fall on one of us, lol.

[EL42]

like ten years ago,i had my first threesome. i was the last one to cum and both girls were trying rush me. they were takin turns giving head,russian rolette with a full clip. one got a load in the eye and the other girl gets it up her nose. the one who got it in the nose gags and throws up on the half blind one. to this day not a fan of threesomes.lol

[slostang]

like ten years ago,i had my first threesome. i was the last one to cum and both girls were trying rush me. they were takin turns giving head,russian rolette with a full clip. one got a load in the eye and the other girl gets it up her nose. the one who got it in the nose gags and throws up on the half blind one. to this day not a fan of threesomes.lol

[browningboy7]

Real shit once we were going at it for a while and I didn't want to cum so I was like "Ok I'm going to cum twice".......I finished her and went to bed.

Unfortunately that leads to no morning sex.

[Oz10]

I can't of any really good ones at the moment. But I've farted multiple times while a girl was giving me head. I've only farted once when a dude was giving me head. Dudes seem to care less. Maybe thats just me.

[murderrsiren]

i was fucking my ex from behind and she was screaming like fuck, like big time, so i was like fuuuck yeh, and about 2 minutes after that she made me stop and she roll over and her face was bloody as fuck. needless to say, we were too close to the headboard.

[browningboy7]

i was fucking my ex from behind and he was screaming like fuck, like big time, so i was like fuuuck yeh, and about 2 minutes after that she made me stop and she roll over and her face was bloody as fuck. needless to say, we were too close to the headboard.

lmfao...Oh really?!

[JJSPEC Racing]

i was fucking my ex from behind and she was screaming like fuck, like big time, so i was like fuuuck yeh, and about 2 minutes after that she made me stop and she roll over and her face was bloody as fuck. needless to say, we were too close to the headboard.

Fixed

[murderrsiren]

fucking fail. damn you. hahaha ^ thanks man.

[browningboy7]

fucking fail. damn you. hahaha ^ thanks man.

lol, Atleast you only fucked it up once.

[murderrsiren]

hahahah thats exactly what i just said.

[JJSPEC Racing]

fucking fail. damn you. hahaha ^ thanks man.

NP!

[Papa_Smurf]

Thread for funny sexcapade failures. I'll start...



So a few years back my at the time girlfriend was staying with me and when we woke we had the idea to fuck in the shower. Well before that happened, I took a shit (shoulda used another toilet) and it was a winner! so a little time passed and we go in the shower and things start steamin up (pardon the pun) including my stinky shit lol and we start the fore play and then get to the business. I feel a fart come on but it felt like it was gunna be a little wet but I figured since I shat not too long before that I was in the clear. WRONG!!! mid poundage I release and shit myself in my shower. My gf gets completely grossed out walks out of the shower gets dressed and leaves, the next day she calls me and dumps me hahaha



anyway, embarassing I know but it happens to the best of us, lets hear it!

wait... was her name Sarah? Sarah Denson....

[SouthSide Tay]

I can't of any really good ones at the moment. But I've farted multiple times while a girl was giving me head. I've only farted once when a dude was giving me head. Dudes seem to care less. Maybe thats just me.

um was i the only one that read this

[thecrazyone]

wait... was her name Sarah? Sarah Denson....

You know Sarah Denson?!?!?!?!

[pimpdaddy]

like ten years ago,i had my first threesome. i was the last one to cum and both girls were trying rush me. they were takin turns giving head,russian rolette with a full clip. one got a load in the eye and the other girl gets it up her nose. the one who got it in the nose gags and throws up on the half blind one. to this day not a fan of threesomes.lol

If I ever cross paths with you, I will shake your hand for that

wait... was her name Sarah? Sarah Denson....

no sarah lol

[pimpdaddy]

I can't of any really good ones at the moment. But I've farted multiple times while a girl was giving me head. I've only farted once when a dude was giving me head. Dudes seem to care less. Maybe thats just me.

Really man, you just made me wake my hole family up laughing at this shit this made the thread EPIC lol :idb:

[Mantooth]

I decide to get the variety pack of condoms and I had went through a few that night. My ex and I were wanting to go at it again. The only condom left was the extended pleasure condom. I put it on and immediately went limp. She was going to get me hard again so she started giving me head. Her mouth went numb and she started drooling.

[SouthSide Tay]

^^^repped

so i tmust have been some good head..

lol

[Double_0_Rusty]

el oh el at this thread

[ls-r teg]

are u a chick????

I can't of any really good ones at the moment. But I've farted multiple times while a girl was giving me head. I've only farted once when a dude was giving me head. Dudes seem to care less. Maybe thats just me.

[Slomaro Z28]

I decide to get the variety pack of condoms and I had went through a few that night. My ex and I were wanting to go at it again. The only condom left was the extended pleasure condom. I put it on and immediately went limp. She was going to get me hard again so she started giving me head. Her mouth went numb and she started drooling.

This thread is funny as hell so far.

[murderrsiren]

I decide to get the variety pack of condoms and I had went through a few that night. My ex and I were wanting to go at it again. The only condom left was the extended pleasure condom. I put it on and immediately went limp. She was going to get me hard again so she started giving me head. Her mouth went numb and she started drooling.

LOLOLOLOL

++reps.

[Papa_Smurf]

You know Sarah Denson?!?!?!?!

ofcourse, thats my bottom bitch.

you must be a regular client of her's.