Is this really cheating?

[Tasuki_Civic]

That's exactly my point, it's your assumption that some flirting took place and that's the reason for the number exchange. What if it has a less sinister reason? Why not just merely ask him and based on their reaction act accordingly? It seems that people try and make up their mind before they even ask. That is only going to make you bias to their answer, not necessarily the truth.

you tellin me that the idea of "who tha fuck is this dude" number is and it wouldnt cross your mind that dude would want more than what he says. there are men out here like that. no matter status.

[Jaimecbr900]

you tellin me that the idea of "who tha fuck is this dude" number is and it wouldnt cross your mind that dude would want more than what he says. there are men out here like that. no matter status.

See, you're doing exactly what I was trying to show Lil Paki is not good either. You are totally convinced that something bad is happening BEFORE you even ask what's up. That in turn will likely automatically make you think in only one direction regardless. That is counter productive. He MAY very well be screwing around or he may just be flirting and forgot to throw away the number or he may have gotten the number for that girl to sew you a special valentine's day pillow. The point is that you DON'T KNOW for sure until you ask.

A lot of women are awful about making their worst fears into prophecies. Sometimes this could be avoided by merely giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they don't deserve it. If the guy HAS cheated before and is on thin ice, then shoot yeah you're gonna think the worst right out of the gate. But if he's been a decent guy up until that point, which after only 6 mos is highly likely, then why not give him the benefit of the doubt until he DOES screw up. If you can't look at someone you're sleeping with in the eyes and tell when he/she is lying to you, then you probably shouldn't tie up your feelings with that person. That's what booty calls and friends with benefits are for. If it's someone you "love", then by the time you tell them you "love" them you should be able to read them enough to tell if they're lying to you. Besides, the story is either plausible or not. If it's not, then break it off in him. If it is, don't act like a psycho and go postal because you may just be over reacting.

By the way, no offense but this is one of the reasons both guys and girls get the bad rep of being "psycho" is because they are always thinking of the worst before they think of the best in common scenarios. If I was in the dating scene and I was liking a certain someone for a few months when she suddenly without asking freaks out about a phone number on MY dresser, I'd kick her to the curb on the spot. This is exactly why a lot of relationships which otherwise may work out end up NOT working out. People come with pre-dispositions that "I'm gonna get hurt", "he's GONNA cheat on me because the last one did", "hes gotta be cheating because he smells good", or whatever other pre-conceived idea they come in with.

There is nothing wrong with merely asking what's up, and then based on their answer you react.

[Tasuki_Civic]

See, you're doing exactly what I was trying to show Lil Paki is not good either. You are totally convinced that something bad is happening BEFORE you even ask what's up. That in turn will likely automatically make you think in only one direction regardless. That is counter productive. He MAY very well be screwing around or he may just be flirting and forgot to throw away the number or he may have gotten the number for that girl to sew you a special valentine's day pillow. The point is that you DON'T KNOW for sure until you ask.

A lot of women are awful about making their worst fears into prophecies. Sometimes this could be avoided by merely giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they don't deserve it. If the guy HAS cheated before and is on thin ice, then shoot yeah you're gonna think the worst right out of the gate. But if he's been a decent guy up until that point, which after only 6 mos is highly likely, then why not give him the benefit of the doubt until he DOES screw up. If you can't look at someone you're sleeping with in the eyes and tell when he/she is lying to you, then you probably shouldn't tie up your feelings with that person. That's what booty calls and friends with benefits are for. If it's someone you "love", then by the time you tell them you "love" them you should be able to read them enough to tell if they're lying to you. Besides, the story is either plausible or not. If it's not, then break it off in him. If it is, don't act like a psycho and go postal because you may just be over reacting.

By the way, no offense but this is one of the reasons both guys and girls get the bad rep of being "psycho" is because they are always thinking of the worst before they think of the best in common scenarios. If I was in the dating scene and I was liking a certain someone for a few months when she suddenly without asking freaks out about a phone number on MY dresser, I'd kick her to the curb on the spot. This is exactly why a lot of relationships which otherwise may work out end up NOT working out. People come with pre-dispositions that "I'm gonna get hurt", "he's GONNA cheat on me because the last one did", "hes gotta be cheating because he smells good", or whatever other pre-conceived idea they come in with.

There is nothing wrong with merely asking what's up, and then based on their answer you react.

wow? in many words....like i said i would ask. im not gonna assume the worst but i wouldnt let it blind me either. i wouldnt expect for the guy to cheat and i would be surprised if it happened.

what you quoted is what i was asking how you would act. would you keep it in mind that you saw this number and then you saw it again? how would you feel? like something is going on?

wouldnt you question because it made you think twice like who is this dude? and you would want to know if he was a threat to you or not? on the first time that you saw the number? if you dont think that then you that means you dont give a shit about who she meets and where. you would think if your married you would care about who is in your loved ones life......am i wrong......if i am its ok. im learning from what you think.

[Jaimecbr900]

would you keep it in mind that you saw this number and then you saw it again? how would you feel? like something is going on?

You're still killing me with the crazy grammar, so it's hard to understand what you're trying to say.

If you are asking if I would question my wife for having some random phone number in her pocket, the answer is absolutely yes. If you're asking if I would think something was up, the answer is depends on what she says when I ask what's up. If it's shady, then yes. If it's logical, then no.

wouldnt you question because it made you think twice like who is this dude? and you would want to know if he was a threat to you or not?

Honestly, whomever he/she is can only be a threat to me if I let them. If my wife decided she needed something from someone else, she KNOWS she would have to KEEP that someone else because I wouldn't wait around for her, period. It's that clear cut and dry in my head. It really is.

I think you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm just saying that people that you care about should get the benefit of the doubt to begin with, don't think negatively, until they give you a reason NOT to. When they do, you have two choices; Give them another chance, or cut them loose. Either way, you will be better served if you let the other person hang themselves with a rope instead of you hanging everybody you come across at the slightest sign of problems. You may just hang someone that doesn't deserve it. That's all.

[Tasuki_Civic]

You're still killing me with the crazy grammar, so it's hard to understand what you're trying to say.

If you are asking if I would question my wife for having some random phone number in her pocket, the answer is absolutely yes. If you're asking if I would think something was up, the answer is depends on what she says when I ask what's up. If it's shady, then yes. If it's logical, then no.



Honestly, whomever he/she is can only be a threat to me if I let them. If my wife decided she needed something from someone else, she KNOWS she would have to KEEP that someone else because I wouldn't wait around for her, period. It's that clear cut and dry in my head. It really is.

I think you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm just saying that people that you care about should get the benefit of the doubt to begin with, don't think negatively, until they give you a reason NOT to. When they do, you have two choices; Give them another chance, or cut them loose. Either way, you will be better served if you let the other person hang themselves with a rope instead of you hanging everybody you come across at the slightest sign of problems. You may just hang someone that doesn't deserve it. That's all.

so how many chances would you give ya wife?

[Tasuki_Civic]

See, you're doing exactly what I was trying to show Lil Paki is not good either. You are totally convinced that something bad is happening BEFORE you even ask what's up. That in turn will likely automatically make you think in only one direction regardless. That is counter productive. He MAY very well be screwing around or he may just be flirting and forgot to throw away the number or he may have gotten the number for that girl to sew you a special valentine's day pillow. The point is that you DON'T KNOW for sure until you ask.

A lot of women are awful about making their worst fears into prophecies. Sometimes this could be avoided by merely giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they don't deserve it. If the guy HAS cheated before and is on thin ice, then shoot yeah you're gonna think the worst right out of the gate. But if he's been a decent guy up until that point, which after only 6 mos is highly likely, then why not give him the benefit of the doubt until he DOES screw up. If you can't look at someone you're sleeping with in the eyes and tell when he/she is lying to you, then you probably shouldn't tie up your feelings with that person. That's what booty calls and friends with benefits are for. If it's someone you "love", then by the time you tell them you "love" them you should be able to read them enough to tell if they're lying to you. Besides, the story is either plausible or not. If it's not, then break it off in him. If it is, don't act like a psycho and go postal because you may just be over reacting.

By the way, no offense but this is one of the reasons both guys and girls get the bad rep of being "psycho" is because they are always thinking of the worst before they think of the best in common scenarios. If I was in the dating scene and I was liking a certain someone for a few months when she suddenly without asking freaks out about a phone number on MY dresser, I'd kick her to the curb on the spot. This is exactly why a lot of relationships which otherwise may work out end up NOT working out. People come with pre-dispositions that "I'm gonna get hurt", "he's GONNA cheat on me because the last one did", "hes gotta be cheating because he smells good", or whatever other pre-conceived idea they come in with.

There is nothing wrong with merely asking what's up, and then based on their answer you react.

that is soooo cheesie i would beat his ass for doin some corny ass shit like that. THEN i would think he was cheating LOL no lie.