Is this really cheating?

**ep9716** · 06-05-2007, 07:49 PM

Its Not Cheating Unless Both Chicks Know Then Your Just Fucked.LOL

**Jaimecbr900** · 06-05-2007, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

you tellin me that the idea of "who tha fuck is this dude" number is and it wouldnt cross your mind that dude would want more than what he says. there are men out here like that. no matter status.

See, you're doing exactly what I was trying to show Lil Paki is not good either. You are totally convinced that something bad is happening BEFORE you even ask what's up. That in turn will likely automatically make you think in only one direction regardless. That is counter productive. He MAY very well be screwing around or he may just be flirting and forgot to throw away the number or he may have gotten the number for that girl to sew you a special valentine's day pillow. The point is that you DON'T KNOW for sure until you ask.

A lot of women are awful about making their worst fears into prophecies. Sometimes this could be avoided by merely giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they don't deserve it. If the guy HAS cheated before and is on thin ice, then shoot yeah you're gonna think the worst right out of the gate. But if he's been a decent guy up until that point, which after only 6 mos is highly likely, then why not give him the benefit of the doubt until he DOES screw up. If you can't look at someone you're sleeping with in the eyes and tell when he/she is lying to you, then you probably shouldn't tie up your feelings with that person. That's what booty calls and friends with benefits are for. If it's someone you "love", then by the time you tell them you "love" them you should be able to read them enough to tell if they're lying to you. Besides, the story is either plausible or not. If it's not, then break it off in him. If it is, don't act like a psycho and go postal because you may just be over reacting.

By the way, no offense but this is one of the reasons both guys and girls get the bad rep of being "psycho" is because they are always thinking of the worst before they think of the best in common scenarios. If I was in the dating scene and I was liking a certain someone for a few months when she suddenly without asking freaks out about a phone number on MY dresser, I'd kick her to the curb on the spot. This is exactly why a lot of relationships which otherwise may work out end up NOT working out. People come with pre-dispositions that "I'm gonna get hurt", "he's GONNA cheat on me because the last one did", "hes gotta be cheating because he smells good", or whatever other pre-conceived idea they come in with.

There is nothing wrong with merely asking what's up, and then based on their answer you react.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by Jaimecbr900

See, you're doing exactly what I was trying to show Lil Paki is not good either. You are totally convinced that something bad is happening BEFORE you even ask what's up. That in turn will likely automatically make you think in only one direction regardless. That is counter productive. He MAY very well be screwing around or he may just be flirting and forgot to throw away the number or he may have gotten the number for that girl to sew you a special valentine's day pillow. The point is that you DON'T KNOW for sure until you ask.

A lot of women are awful about making their worst fears into prophecies. Sometimes this could be avoided by merely giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they don't deserve it. If the guy HAS cheated before and is on thin ice, then shoot yeah you're gonna think the worst right out of the gate. But if he's been a decent guy up until that point, which after only 6 mos is highly likely, then why not give him the benefit of the doubt until he DOES screw up. If you can't look at someone you're sleeping with in the eyes and tell when he/she is lying to you, then you probably shouldn't tie up your feelings with that person. That's what booty calls and friends with benefits are for. If it's someone you "love", then by the time you tell them you "love" them you should be able to read them enough to tell if they're lying to you. Besides, the story is either plausible or not. If it's not, then break it off in him. If it is, don't act like a psycho and go postal because you may just be over reacting.

By the way, no offense but this is one of the reasons both guys and girls get the bad rep of being "psycho" is because they are always thinking of the worst before they think of the best in common scenarios. If I was in the dating scene and I was liking a certain someone for a few months when she suddenly without asking freaks out about a phone number on MY dresser, I'd kick her to the curb on the spot. This is exactly why a lot of relationships which otherwise may work out end up NOT working out. People come with pre-dispositions that "I'm gonna get hurt", "he's GONNA cheat on me because the last one did", "hes gotta be cheating because he smells good", or whatever other pre-conceived idea they come in with.

There is nothing wrong with merely asking what's up, and then based on their answer you react.

wow? in many words....like i said i would ask. im not gonna assume the worst but i wouldnt let it blind me either. i wouldnt expect for the guy to cheat and i would be surprised if it happened.

what you quoted is what i was asking how you would act. would you keep it in mind that you saw this number and then you saw it again? how would you feel? like something is going on?

wouldnt you question because it made you think twice like who is this dude? and you would want to know if he was a threat to you or not? on the first time that you saw the number? if you dont think that then you that means you dont give a shit about who she meets and where. you would think if your married you would care about who is in your loved ones life......am i wrong......if i am its ok. im learning from what you think.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by Jaimecbr900

See, you're doing exactly what I was trying to show Lil Paki is not good either. You are totally convinced that something bad is happening BEFORE you even ask what's up. That in turn will likely automatically make you think in only one direction regardless. That is counter productive. He MAY very well be screwing around or he may just be flirting and forgot to throw away the number or he may have gotten the number for that girl to sew you a special valentine's day pillow. The point is that you DON'T KNOW for sure until you ask.

A lot of women are awful about making their worst fears into prophecies. Sometimes this could be avoided by merely giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they don't deserve it. If the guy HAS cheated before and is on thin ice, then shoot yeah you're gonna think the worst right out of the gate. But if he's been a decent guy up until that point, which after only 6 mos is highly likely, then why not give him the benefit of the doubt until he DOES screw up. If you can't look at someone you're sleeping with in the eyes and tell when he/she is lying to you, then you probably shouldn't tie up your feelings with that person. That's what booty calls and friends with benefits are for. If it's someone you "love", then by the time you tell them you "love" them you should be able to read them enough to tell if they're lying to you. Besides, the story is either plausible or not. If it's not, then break it off in him. If it is, don't act like a psycho and go postal because you may just be over reacting.

By the way, no offense but this is one of the reasons both guys and girls get the bad rep of being "psycho" is because they are always thinking of the worst before they think of the best in common scenarios. If I was in the dating scene and I was liking a certain someone for a few months when she suddenly without asking freaks out about a phone number on MY dresser, I'd kick her to the curb on the spot. This is exactly why a lot of relationships which otherwise may work out end up NOT working out. People come with pre-dispositions that "I'm gonna get hurt", "he's GONNA cheat on me because the last one did", "hes gotta be cheating because he smells good", or whatever other pre-conceived idea they come in with.

There is nothing wrong with merely asking what's up, and then based on their answer you react.

that is soooo cheesie i would beat his ass for doin some corny ass shit like that. THEN i would think he was cheating LOL no lie.

**Extrememustang** · 06-05-2007, 08:37 PM

Call it and ask who it is? If a guy picks up, hang up, if a girl picks up say hey hwo is this I had your number in my phone but couldnt remember who it is. If they say I dont know you say well my BF uses this phone also maybe u know him.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Extrememustang

Call it and ask who it is? If a guy picks up, hang up, if a girl picks up say hey hwo is this I had your number in my phone but couldnt remember who it is. If they say I dont know you say well my BF uses this phone also maybe u know him.

AHALOL you scandalous! i see all what you would go thru. nah im not up to call a bitch if she was tryin to holla at my man. i would check him not her. ha that is unless she was callin my house..THEN I would check her ass quick

**Jaimecbr900** · 06-05-2007, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

would you keep it in mind that you saw this number and then you saw it again? how would you feel? like something is going on?

You're still killing me with the crazy grammar, so it's hard to understand what you're trying to say.

If you are asking if I would question my wife for having some random phone number in her pocket, the answer is absolutely yes. If you're asking if I would think something was up, the answer is depends on what she says when I ask what's up. If it's shady, then yes. If it's logical, then no.

wouldnt you question because it made you think twice like who is this dude? and you would want to know if he was a threat to you or not?

Honestly, whomever he/she is can only be a threat to me if I let them. If my wife decided she needed something from someone else, she KNOWS she would have to KEEP that someone else because I wouldn't wait around for her, period. It's that clear cut and dry in my head. It really is.

I think you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm just saying that people that you care about should get the benefit of the doubt to begin with, don't think negatively, until they give you a reason NOT to. When they do, you have two choices; Give them another chance, or cut them loose. Either way, you will be better served if you let the other person hang themselves with a rope instead of you hanging everybody you come across at the slightest sign of problems. You may just hang someone that doesn't deserve it. That's all.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by Jaimecbr900

You're still killing me with the crazy grammar, so it's hard to understand what you're trying to say.

If you are asking if I would question my wife for having some random phone number in her pocket, the answer is absolutely yes. If you're asking if I would think something was up, the answer is depends on what she says when I ask what's up. If it's shady, then yes. If it's logical, then no.

Honestly, whomever he/she is can only be a threat to me if I let them. If my wife decided she needed something from someone else, she KNOWS she would have to KEEP that someone else because I wouldn't wait around for her, period. It's that clear cut and dry in my head. It really is.

I think you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm just saying that people that you care about should get the benefit of the doubt to begin with, don't think negatively, until they give you a reason NOT to. When they do, you have two choices; Give them another chance, or cut them loose. Either way, you will be better served if you let the other person hang themselves with a rope instead of you hanging everybody you come across at the slightest sign of problems. You may just hang someone that doesn't deserve it. That's all.

so how many chances would you give ya wife?

**caseyT** · 06-05-2007, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by Bballjamal

If its been that long of a relationship pull them to the side and find out what's going on! If they can't be real with you, and you're SURE of what they're doing, out the door they go! Why be with someone fake who can't talk out their problems with you!

x2

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 08:57 PM

?? how many chances would you give someone??

and youve been together more than 2 yrs

**seksicarlovinchick** · 06-05-2007, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

ok ive been reading some pples threads and their relationship questions. i have one.

If you have been with someone from 6 month and up and you find a number or 2 numbers laying around in the their car or just in the the house like next to the computer.

what would you do? would you call it off or would you be mad and let them explain and if it sounds like its excusable you let it ride and keep going with the relationship.

i would like to know this especially from the person who has been in a relationship more than a yr and half.

Ask...don't assume the worst. fact is...there are times when people give you their number and its more trouble to say no or throw it away than just to put in in your pocket and say thanks. If he's your man and you love him...give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess just keep an eye out and make suer that it is an isolated incident...trust, but don't get walked all over.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by seksicarlovinchick

Ask...don't assume the worst. fact is...there are times when people give you their number and its more trouble to say no or throw it away than just to put in in your pocket and say thanks. If he's your man and you love him...give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess just keep an eye out and make suer that it is an isolated incident...trust, but don't get walked all over.

in so many words thats exactly what im saying

so how many chances would you give your man?

**seksicarlovinchick** · 06-05-2007, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by ep9716

Its Not Cheating Unless Both Chicks Know Then Your Just Fucked.LOL

HAHAHAHA...

**seksicarlovinchick** · 06-05-2007, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

in so many words thats exactly what im saying

so how many chances would you give your man?

I love him...and I have yet to catch him...so I've given him...I'm ashamed to say...like 4 now...he keeps fucking up...I keep letting it go...he has yet to do anything. Long story really...

As many as it takes for him to not fuck up...LOL

**silver** · 06-05-2007, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

dont blind yourself....alot of women do that

Oh lol I worded that wrong.. meaning what you are saying for the most part..

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by seksicarlovinchick

I love him...and I have yet to catch him...so I've given him...I'm ashamed to say...like 4 now...he keeps fucking up...I keep letting it go...he has yet to do anything. Long story really...

As many as it takes for him to not fuck up...LOL

yea the question really is when do you call it quits. i mean no one is perfect but if the person doesnt understnad or not wanting to then dont you have to let it go? or be submisive to the subject and let him do whatever it is he keeps doing?

i mean i cant tail behind a guy like some women do about their man when they do wrong...its like being a mother. im not that type. i mean to some pple 4 times is more than enough.....you should tell someone once maybe twice but thats it. ive heard men say these things not women. usualy its the men who say she fucks up once im done.theres no talkin thru it and if they do and it happens a agin then they feel they wont understand so why bother

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

yea the question really is when do you call it quits. i mean no one is perfect but if the person doesnt understnad or not wanting to then dont you have to let it go? or be submisive to the subject and let him do whatever it is he keeps doing?

i mean i cant tail behind a guy like some women do about their man when they do wrong...its like being a mother. im not that type. i mean to some pple 4 times is more than enough.....you should tell someone once maybe twice but thats it. ive heard men say these things not women. usualy its the men who say she fucks up once im done.theres no talkin thru it and if they do and it happens a agin then they feel they wont understand so why bother

depending on how bad the situation is

**seksicarlovinchick** · 06-05-2007, 09:49 PM

Some things are worth holding on to. Some aren't. Its that simple. You have to decide if it is or isn't. I trust him and every time there is any doubt he explains and it checks out. I'm not one to tail after a man either...my man is a lot older than me, but hasn't been in many relationships...so a lot of his shit is inexpieriance.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 10:05 PM

yea i feel you

**nightracer** · 06-05-2007, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by Tasuki_Civic

ok ive been reading some pples threads and their relationship questions. i have one.

If you have been with someone from 6 month and up and you find a number or 2 numbers laying around in the their car or just in the the house like next to the computer.

what would you do? would you call it off or would you be mad and let them explain and if it sounds like its excusable you let it ride and keep going with the relationship.

i would like to know this especially from the person who has been in a relationship more than a yr and half.

ibthisreallyhappenedtoyouinreallifeanditssomengayo ureallyfeelinanddontwanaletgoof

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by nightracer

ibthisreallyhappenedtoyouinreallifeanditssomengayo ureallyfeelinanddontwanaletgoof

so make up your mind guy you wanna be like that or are you gonna be nice to me....which one is it...you switchin ya shit up like a female on her period.

**Tasuki_Civic** · 06-05-2007, 10:43 PM

and no its not real....im not dating anyone right now. i explained earlier that ive heard pplre talk about it. and what got me to make the thread was that i heard the new song by Tank. you know what song im tawkin'bout

**GSRteg®** · 06-05-2007, 11:16 PM

Hmmmm

**Tracy** · 06-05-2007, 11:24 PM

Dan and I have been together for 7 years

I have menses #'s all up in my phone. When I go out, guys offer to buy me drinks and I accept. I get phone numbers and dance with all kinds of dudes. I have even gone to the male strip club and had a strippper call me the next day and Dan answered the phone...and handed it to me

He's usually there with me while all of this goes on. He watches and laughs with his friends about it.

Dan's not like that really. He's shy for the most part. He has the occasional girl from his past call his phone. I'm not a jealous girl and I don't really care if another girl calls his phone.

I think it's about being secure in your relationship and being friends with your man. Dan is my BFF. We talk about everything and we know how each other is. If I found a number, I'd prolly pick on him about it and tell him how much game he doesn't have...since he didn't get the girl

I think the best thing is to always give the benefit of the doubt...especially if you have no reason to think other wise. I personally don't feel that phone numbers=cheating...although it could. I guess it just depends on the guidelines and expectations you 2 have set for your relationship.

**Lizbiz101** · 06-05-2007, 11:36 PM

Tracy you are so right!!!!

I don't think phone numbers = cheating. To me cheating has to involve both people/ physical contact. I guess when you haven't been with someone that long it's harder to trust them. You gain trust over time. So if you've been with someone for a few months and they get a number, it's going to be different than if you've been with someone for a few years. A few years, you don't have that 'he might leave me' feeling anymore. Your pretty comfortable with eachother. A few months is when you figure out if that person is for you or not.

**Jaimecbr900** · 06-06-2007, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by tracy

I think the best thing is to always give the benefit of the doubt...especially if you have no reason to think other wise. I personally don't feel that phone numbers=cheating...although it could. I guess it just depends on the guidelines and expectations you 2 have set for your relationship.

Exactly. That is EXACTLY what I've been trying to say about this.

Like I said, you can react rationally or like a psycho...it's your choice. Most of the time people overreact instead of just asking, "hey, what up wit this?" and seeing what they answer.

Good post Tracy.

**Tracy** · 06-06-2007, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by Jaimecbr900

Exactly. That is EXACTLY what I've been trying to say about this.

Like I said, you can react rationally or like a psycho...it's your choice. Most of the time people overreact instead of just asking, "hey, what up wit this?" and seeing what they answer.

Good post Tracy.

Yay! From the second smartest person I know (Dan being first of course

)

**Jaimecbr900** · 06-06-2007, 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by tracy

Yay! From the second smartest person I know (Dan being first of course

)

Stop it....you're gonna make me

Thread: Is this really cheating?

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