Is this really cheating?

[Tasuki_Civic]

ok ive been reading some pples threads and their relationship questions. i have one.


If you have been with someone from 6 month and up and you find a number or 2 numbers laying around in the their car or just in the the house like next to the computer.

what would you do? would you call it off or would you be mad and let them explain and if it sounds like its excusable you let it ride and keep going with the relationship.

i would like to know this especially from the person who has been in a relationship more than a yr and half.

[Tasuki_Civic]

reason why im askin is because many pple go threw this and i was watching videos and notice that some r&b artist talk about that as well.

[Bballjamal]

If its been that long of a relationship pull them to the side and find out what's going on! If they can't be real with you, and you're SURE of what they're doing, out the door they go! Why be with someone fake who can't talk out their problems with you!

[Tasuki_Civic]

true buuuuut how DO YOU know for sure? i mean really you never would have thought this person would do such a thing but they have 2 guy numbers in their car. knowing she went out the other nitgh or a couple of days ago. why would you keep the number. asking that question would you continue?

[william_jeff]

if you are with somebody for a short period of time and they still have numbers around, they are keeping them just in case you two don't work out. if you two have been together for a while there is a SLIGHT chance they forgot(like i forgot i had female pictures in my wallet behind my nephew's pictures) and i explained to my fiancee that it was an honest mistake. as soon as she saw them i took them out ripped it up and threw them away and told her what the deal was. or they may just be, again, holding on to that number for some undercover type shit.

either way allow for explanation, if it seems valid, then do what you do.

[Bballjamal]

Knowing for sure is the hard part! That's where talking it out comes in big play! You know they kept the number but it might not be a 100% choice on their mind. There's obviously a problem brewing, just see if you can figure it out and stop it before it does get to the "cheating" point!

[LiL PaKi]

is there a name with the number?

[GregR]

Its not cheating unless its skin-on-skin.

[Tasuki_Civic]

is there a name with the number?

well yea.....i mean this hasnt happened to me. lol yet atleast but ive heard plenty of stories where women or men wil see this after several years or just a year into the relationship. and they look stuck like "damn this person mite be cheating on me"

[Tasuki_Civic]

Its not cheating unless its skin-on-skin.

not really....because its starts somewhere. yea pple flirt but there is limit to it b4 it comes to reality. it doesnt start off by fucking.

[william_jeff]

i would never cheat on you civic

[LiL PaKi]

I would call it anticipated cheating.

[Tasuki_Civic]

i would never cheat on you civic

[Tasuki_Civic]

I would call it anticipated cheating.

yea but the main thing is its still cheating almost. i dunno...so lets change it up a little bit. what if they said it was this person they met somewhere. not work related just someone they met of the opposit sex. would you allow that or fell comfortable with that?

see women know their man....and what i mean by this men would never understand. thats why women would trip the way they do cuz they know he can be.....and vice versa for men but they dont look into it like they do cuz men are stuck on how women are devoted to their men. which in most cases are true.

[william_jeff]

yea but the main thing is its still cheating almost. i dunno...so lets change it up a little bit. what if they said it was this person they met somewhere. not work related just someone they met of the opposit sex. would you allow that or fell comfortable with that?

see women know their man....and what i mean by this men would never understand. thats why women would trip the way they do cuz they know he can be.....and vice versa for men but they dont look into it like they do cuz men are stuck on how women are devoted to their men. which in most cases are true.

false to a point

i let it go for a while, but i started doing my own investigations, my own undercover operation to see what was going on. some women are faithful some are grimy.

it's probably the same percentage of men as women who cheat and aren't devoted.

[Killer]

depends on who's the numbers are...

if it's someone that's a friend or of the same sex, obviously not cheating...


if it's opposite sex, and they are banging or seeing that other person.. well then yeah cheating... (of course if they are gay or lesbian it's same sex you have to watch out for.)

[scionara]

This is a very good question.

[william_jeff]

personally i have the phone number of my cousin's wife just incase i can't get in contact with that bone crusher replica.


i have 2 phone numbers in my phone i'm not suppose to have but i neither call them and they don't call me

[LiL PaKi]

yea but the main thing is its still cheating almost. i dunno...so lets change it up a little bit. what if they said it was this person they met somewhere. not work related just someone they met of the opposit sex. would you allow that or fell comfortable with that?

see women know their man....and what i mean by this men would never understand. thats why women would trip the way they do cuz they know he can be.....and vice versa for men but they dont look into it like they do cuz men are stuck on how women are devoted to their men. which in most cases are true.

i agree

[Crazy Asian]

last time cheating was when I guy was macking with my girl. I laughed, when up to get the guy and shoved me fist up in his face. Lets just say after that he look like a mummy. AHAHAHAHAHAH so I guess numbers are okay just for me cheating is when a girl or guys is seeing someone else kissing or fondling each other.

[Jaimecbr900]

If it's only 6 mos, then you have to decide if yall are really all that serious. If you are, then you just come out and ask "what's the deal?". If it's innocent, he will have a good logical reason for having someone else's phone numbers. If it's not, he'll fall all over his tongue trying to anticipate a good answer.

You have to also remember that sometimes people have phone numbers for a good and valid reason. I had, until my phone died, over 500 contacts and phone numbers. Was I screwing around with all of them? Of course not, but if go out by myself and suddenly she finds phone numbers in my pockets.....I got some explaining to do for real. So would she if the shoe was on the other foot.

My

[LiL PaKi]

last time cheating was when I guy was macking with my girl. I laughed, when up to get the guy and shoved me fist up in his face. Lets just say after that he look like a mummy. AHAHAHAHAHAH so I guess numbers are okay just for me cheating is when a girl or guys is seeing someone else kissing or fondling each other.

what if your girl was flirting with a guy and then got his number? you wouldn't call that cheating until they actually did something?

[Crazy Asian]

True..but I dont go for girls like that. I hate flirty type.

[Jaimecbr900]

what if your girl was flirting with a guy and then got his number? you wouldn't call that cheating until they actually did something?

How would you know they were "flirting"?

[Crazy Asian]

Flapping the eyes....licking him?

[Killer]

Flapping the eyes....licking him?

lol....

[LiL PaKi]

How would you know they were "flirting"?

how would u know if they weren't making out before the number was givin? it was just an assumption

[LiL PaKi]

Flapping the eyes....licking him?

you sir.. have issues..

[Jaimecbr900]

how would u know if they weren't making out before the number was givin? it was just an assumption

That's exactly my point, it's your assumption that some flirting took place and that's the reason for the number exchange. What if it has a less sinister reason? Why not just merely ask him and based on their reaction act accordingly? It seems that people try and make up their mind before they even ask. That is only going to make you bias to their answer, not necessarily the truth.

[LiL PaKi]

That's exactly my point, it's your assumption that some flirting took place and that's the reason for the number exchange. What if it has a less sinister reason? Why not just merely ask him and based on their reaction act accordingly? It seems that people try and make up their mind before they even ask. That is only going to make you bias to their answer, not necessarily the truth.

agree
Can't help it... it's like you want to trust someone then you can't..

[silver]

See thats a tough one cause ask me my opinion 8 months ago and it would be totally different, lol

I think though it all depends on each individual realationship. You know what kind of person you are dating. Esp after 6-12 months you should know if there are any red flags, if they are flirty or shy, if they are mean and insensitive, etc. Although I have had my trust issues in the past, that's something I have become smarter about and a different mentality on cause it can ruin a relationship (or for me it can, lol). I think after 6-12 months I'm going to have some sort of idea if I can trust someone 110% or if its a relationship that is going to work or not. If I find a number 6 months into a relationship, I might be curious and I don't think there is anything wrong with asking.. But at the same time if you trust someone, should you have to ask??? If there is any doubt whatsoever that the phone number might be someone that your partner is cheating with someone or intentions of, you might want to rethink where your relationship stands as far as on a trust level and what exactly you are looking for out of the relationship. But thats just IMO.. so not saying its right or wrong

[silver]

Can't help it... it's like you want to trust someone then you can't..

This is where I have learned alot from. And this is just me.. but its like if you can't trust someone or decide to trust them you are only going to convince yourself that there is something not to trust.. if that makes sense..

Its hard to say either trust someone or dont, cause people get screwed over and make it hard for people to move on and trust others... but then again why penalize someone for something someone else did in the past to make you have trust issues. Everyone is going to get burned, but you have to remember that you are picking the people that you give your trust to from the get go.

The guy I am dating now.. its been about 6 mths now. He has never given me any doubt in my mind a reason to not trust him. He has even gotten the phone calls from girls he dated years ago.. and its come a long way for me to do this but I trust him 110% or I would not even be wasting my time in the raltionship.. But that is a chance that I have taken to see if someone values my trust. Yeah it sucks to be burned but when you find a person that you can trust and also can trust you it makes it worth it and is just that much better.

[Crazy Asian]

I dont have issues. Im normal as an asian guy can be.

[Tasuki_Civic]

personally i have the phone number of my cousin's wife just incase i can't get in contact with that bone crusher replica.


i have 2 phone numbers in my phone i'm not suppose to have but i neither call them and they don't call me

and whats the point of having them ....see what i mean? stuff like that pple dont understand. there is no reason why have them then why are they there. cuz you lazy to delete them ( ha i think not) its another reason. can you say BACKUP.

if you say no then whats the reason. thats if you have a female.

[Tasuki_Civic]

That's exactly my point, it's your assumption that some flirting took place and that's the reason for the number exchange. What if it has a less sinister reason? Why not just merely ask him and based on their reaction act accordingly? It seems that people try and make up their mind before they even ask. That is only going to make you bias to their answer, not necessarily the truth.

you tellin me that the idea of "who tha fuck is this dude" number is and it wouldnt cross your mind that dude would want more than what he says. there are men out here like that. no matter status.

[Tasuki_Civic]

This is where I have learned alot from. And this is just me.. but its like if you can't trust someone or decide to trust them you are only going to convince yourself that there is something not to trust.. if that makes sense..

Its hard to say either trust someone or dont, cause people get screwed over and make it hard for people to move on and trust others... but then again why penalize someone for something someone else did in the past to make you have trust issues. Everyone is going to get burned, but you have to remember that you are picking the people that you give your trust to from the get go.

The guy I am dating now.. its been about 6 mths now. He has never given me any doubt in my mind a reason to not trust him. He has even gotten the phone calls from girls he dated years ago.. and its come a long way for me to do this but I trust him 110% or I would not even be wasting my time in the raltionship.. But that is a chance that I have taken to see if someone values my trust. Yeah it sucks to be burned but when you find a person that you can trust and also can trust you it makes it worth it and is just that much better.

dont blind yourself....alot of women do that

there is one thing of not trusting someone and there is a nother when you see what is going to happen before it actually goes down. like you see the outcome before it happens.

its happen to me b4 and i deaded the relationship cause i knew what was gonna happen over time. and it did. some pple choose to wait it out and others dont.

as far as the number thing i dont know what i would do. i assume i would ask. but its almost whats the point. if they cheat they cheat. id have to sit back and watch first before i ask. i dont want to say something and look like worry wort and im wrong. but then again it depends how things were between us

[SLOWLYbtngU]

ok ive been reading some pples threads and their relationship questions. i have one.


If you have been with someone from 6 month and up and you find a number or 2 numbers laying around in the their car or just in the the house like next to the computer.

what would you do? would you call it off or would you be mad and let them explain and if it sounds like its excusable you let it ride and keep going with the relationship.

i would like to know this especially from the person who has been in a relationship more than a yr and half.

Ok I dunno if maybe I am wrong or whatever...But 6 months is nothing to me. I dont say I love you until I am a good year to two years in.

I dont stress when I see other chicks numbers in the phone. I dont trip over comments left on myspace. I figure if a man wants to stray than he will. Regardless of how psycho I go. I am secure enough to let him call whoever he wants, whenever he wants.

I think that it is something that needs to be talked about early on in the realtionship....6 months is still so new, if it is something that bothers you then that is the time to get it out.

[Tasuki_Civic]

Ok I dunno if maybe I am wrong or whatever...But 6 months is nothing to me. I dont say I love you until I am a good year to two years in.

I dont stress when I see other chicks numbers in the phone. I dont trip over comments left on myspace. I figure if a man wants to stray than he will. Regardless of how psycho I go. I am secure enough to let him call whoever he wants, whenever he wants.

I think that it is something that needs to be talked about early on in the realtionship....6 months is still so new, if it is something that bothers you then that is the time to get it out.

yea i wouldnt worry about 6 months either the longest ive been in relationship was 4 yrs. so 6 aint much. but there is a behavior that could happen you have to look for if things change.

im like you i dont care either but also if you dont care as much then it will be taken for granted. naturally its like that for me and women but men especially cuz if they dont work for what they have it wont be appreciated. then again men now-a-days like things givin to them as if its expected. lol my 2 cents right

[SLOWLYbtngU]

yea i wouldnt worry about 6 months either the longest ive been in relationship was 4 yrs. so 6 aint much. but there is a behavior that could happen you have to look for if things change.

im like you i dont care either but also if you dont care as much then it will be taken for granted. naturally its like that for me and women but men especially cuz if they dont work for what they have it wont be appreciated. then again men now-a-days like things givin to them as if its expected. lol my 2 cents right

What I have noticed is that when you care too much...You're a psycho stalker bitch...

When you care too little...You're a heartless bitch..

I figure if I am gonna be a "bitch" might as well be my own type...The "I'm-cool-but-dont-push-me bitch."

I tend to be straight up with people when it comes to what will/does bother me. After they know that I see how far they push. When they push too far, I let them know.

About men getting things handed to them..I suppose. Even though, as of late, I have many many single guy friends because they arent really being handed anything and at the same time they really arent working for anything.

[Tasuki_Civic]

yea i see your point. the less you care the better off you are is how i see it. LOL nah really. if you dont care as much as you could then you dont have shit to worry about. you have the upper hand on the relationship and he wont think your crazy like some bitches are. every female can get crazy just depends on what button you push. lol

then they start fukin up pples cars up shit. crazy females