If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.