Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.