I don't think she is coming for no reaxon, and he knows that. he told her to come
I don't think she is coming for no reaxon, and he knows that. he told her to come
First he should have full LEGAL custody. If she were ever to want to be a bitch about it she could say she let the kid come visit and he took him. 2nd there is no way in hell I would ever consider having an Ex come vist our child and stay in the same place as me, family or no family. I honestly wouldn't give a second thought to telling him to move on if he doesn't understand that this situation is just fucked up and should NOT be happening. You are setting yourself up for some bad shit if he is not going to correct this now. Honestly from what I have read I would be moving on. Hate to be like this but you said it best yourself when you said you were both each others rebounds. I don't think you need this kinda shit...this never shouldve been an issue if you and him were on the same page.
awwwwwwwwwwwwww..... damn girl this put tears in my eyes just reading about it... you need a hug babe? don't worry.. u just gotta trust him... like someone else said this will make the relationship stronger... man o man what to do?!?! hey!! can u give me his email addy :wink: i'll send him the link to this thread and i'm sure he'll know how u feel then...
WE have both been wanting her to come visit her son or at least show that she cares....What we didnt think is that she would give less than 48hrs notice....Originally Posted by stikiller
Update-She is supposed to be here now. He got out of work at 4am and went home and then drove down to Amtrak to pick her up....
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
thats that fuck shit..
thats all I'm gonna say
you need to just cut that foo off for real.. you need to UPGRADE
twoONEoh
Hope all goes well with you.
If he wants to be with you and if he says he loves you. He will stay faithfull. If you feel, fuck idk what im saying...
Just hope everything works for you.
I have asked him multiple times to file for full custody. He doesnt want to put the child through that. I understand but my argument is that it is better to do it now that he is 2 than wait until he is 4-5yrs old and can understand somewhat what is going on. Once again, I dont feel I am entitled to say anything b/c it is their child and I am just "dating" his daddy.
As far as the staying in the same place...I am with you. Not cool. But I can kinda understand the dad not wanting to leave her alone with their son that doesnt even really remember her. He wants to make sure that the baby can transition well with her...or whatever he says...
As far as it not being an issue if we were on the same page...I totally agree. The problem is that when he is ready for a relationship, I am not ready...and when I am ready, he isnt. But honestly after this....I just want to steal him away all week. I feel threatened. big time
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
tears in your eyes...Girl you have no idea. I dont think I have anymore to cry. Everyone is being really great towards me cuz they wanna keep me busy while she is here. I have amazing friends...But at the same time, no matter what I am doing...I will be wondering what THEY are doing.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
amazing friends?
foo you ain't called me.... lets go out tonight
twoONEoh
Ant, I know...I know... Everyone tells me to just wait it out. I know that is the only real option that I have...but...Man you know the story...It isnt about just cutting somebody off when they have entered and penetrated your life. He has done nothing wrong...nothing. Sure I stress out about stupid shit, but who doesnt? Truthfully...Is there anything that I have told you so far that would give me just cause to just drop him?
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
Lol...hell I dunno what I am thinking or saying...
Thank u. I can only hope for the best right? ::crosses fingers::
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
I can't... Rocio is coming over to teach a friend how to salsa at 6:30 and Jose is coming over after class. U can come visit me though.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
i have a candidate
I bet you do...i have a candidate
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
so have you talked to him yet?
Update-
The baby went to hug the mom and said "Joss....wait. Daddy, what's her name?"
For those that dont know..My name is Joselyn. I actually feel bad..But at the same time I am glad she can see that someone is stepping up where she isnt.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
"do yo thing do yo thing do it, do you thing do yo thing do it"
make her even more jealous joselyn, can i call you jose? make her jealous jose and continue doing what your doing and FTB
Hehehe...I respond to Jose...But i think you knew that
Yeah apparently she is a hippy now? Umm yeah. He thinks she is weird. GOOD!!!!!
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
I may come through...
wassup with my girl Rocio?
twoONEoh
What you mean? She is straight. She is coming thru to help out a friend that needs to learn how to salsa ASAP...Actually u know this person..I think. He is infamous on IA..lol
No doubt if you do that is straight I am headed home now.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
Update- He came by last night. He says that she isnt the same girl he met, she is weird now. HE says that she is "a hippie, that is into the Beatles, and wears white socks with black shoes." I dunno what that means but I hope it means, "I wont insert myself into her."
I havent gotten anything today...no call...no text...I am flippin out...
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
I didnt read the whole thread so I apologize if this has been said already. I have a son myself so I understand the situation, them staying in the same place is UNACCEPTABLE on ANY level. He should never put you in that kind of position if he really cares about you. Me personally I would rather sleep in my car than sleep in the same room with my ex knowing I am in a relationship.
The only connection he needs to have with her is through their child and nothing more. None of this family bs.. I really hate for throw this out there but baby mama = easy sex. I don't care what any man says the temptation is there if he just got out of a relationship with her.
Sit down and have a real talk with him, explain that you respect the situation but your relationship with him needs to be respected as well. Stand your ground and if he cannot accept it.. leave. If its happening this early in the relationship it is not going to get better, trust me.
i myself been thru something similar. the only thing i can add but has been added already talk to your MAN.
i think you should also meet the EX not to figght but to let her know wuz up/
.
Okay I hate to harp on this but he is making dumb ass excuses. Regardless of her being a good mother or not if she is an adult then she can handle the child.
Him picking her up from Amtrak: Bullshit
Him saying he wants to be there so the baby can transition: Bullshit
Him not calling you: Bullshit
Him not filing for custody: Bullshit
See a pattern here? Sounds like he's full of shit. It would be better to file for custody now when the child doesn't understand than to cause the confusion when she is 5 or 6. I've been in both situations, the child and the parent. He needs to cut communication/interraction with the mother on any level other than the child.
hmm hate to admit it also . but . . . liek i mentioned before i been thru it
and got back togetther with my son's mom.
i knwo its know its not the kind post you might have been looking for but ..
the woman i was living with also made it easy for me to get back with my baby's momma she " let the evetn take its course" just sat back so . . . . . . . .
i took it as she was like what ever
Yes I know...The bolded part is why I am soooo uneasy. About sitting down and talking to him, I just dont feel that it is my place...
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
Well see that is what is weird about the whole thing...She wants to meet me...But I have no desire to meet her. He told me that if he invites me to the house he expects me to go...I wont. I dont want to be involved in this. I figure that THEY were in a relationship before me, THEY had a child before me, THEY called it quits before me, and therefore anything that pertains to the past needs to be handled by THEM, not including me.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
If he has made you a part of his life and his childs life it is definitely your place. Him introducing you to his daughter is a HUGE step in saying he is serious. In the beginning of the relationship you have to let it be known otherwise you are enabling him to do whatever he wants. He's not giving you the respect you deserve and it sounds like you are giving him way too much respect. Not sure why this issue hits me hard but most of the time its hard to find women who are understanding of the situation.. I guess what gets me is you understand and he is taking advantage of that.
Once again... I know. Just like deep down inside I know he still loves her. She cheated on him not him on her so he was the one that got shunned... HE stayed in NY for an additional 2 months trying to make things work between them, but she never came home. Being that he didnt have any family there and only moved there for her, he brought himself and his son back to GA. He came back June of 2006 and this is her first time even trying to visit. I hope and pray that he makes the right decisions these next couple of days. I can only hope. I refuse to be one of those overly dramatic chicks that starts shit with the baby's mom just b/c she was there before me...I see it as she had her shot and messed up. Now is my shot and I hope he doesnt mess up b/c I am not willing to let him go and he is too great for me to even think of messing it up.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
what is too much and what is too little????
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
See that is the thing, in the beginning, he would make plans with me and sometimes cancel and he never gave me a reason why. We finally sat down one day and I asked him why plans change so much with him. He told me that because he relies so heavily on his family watching his son, sometimes he feels bad asking, so he rather cancel his plans and stay home with him. He said he didnt want to bring him along because he felt like it would be a burden on me. I thought that was crazy, and after that made sure to include his son in any plans that we had, I mean sure we still have our time...But that is his son!!!!
I dont want to think that he is taking advantage because for the most part he did let me know first...He gave me the ability to state my feelings but I held back because I knew that her coming down was burden enough on him I didnt want him worried about me too. He dis call and text and stop by yesterday but today...Not one text. Nothing. I can only hope right?
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
If through all of that he still makes you happy then I guess there is nothing more to say, you seem to really care for him and I do know that things are not always perfect. Maybe after this weekend it will all go away since she lives out of state, the situation just stinks to high hell to me though.
I feel like I'm rambling so I'll just say this, the key to making the situation work for both of you is communication. And that does not mean lightly touching on subjects, tell him everything you feel and think even if it will shake things up. And vice versa, he needs to be blatantly honest with you and not leave any chance for your mind to wander.. as it is doing now. I hope it works out for both of you, everyone deserves to be happy.
I love him and his son more than words can express. We will talk.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
So... How are things going?
So far so good. He calls more than usual and he updates me on how everything is going. He is sick right now so he is just tryin to get over that. She isnt leaving Thurs. She is leaving Tuesday! Thank God!
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
Im with him it isnt your place saying wether she can or cant see the son.if youre insecure about the situation then maybe there is something more important that u need to worry about... (maybe your not ready for a relationship like this?) If he cares for you wether he loves you or likes you then youll know when she arrives. Itll show when shes there and how he treats you while shes in the presence. Also dont think negative that there going to fuck bc that right there says alot. Think positive and sit back and watch the show. Also when she called and sked him if they can get back together he said no right. Well be carefull though she might try something(you know how girls are since your one lol no seriously just watch her.) Make her relize what she lost.
That was my exact worry...
What I love is (I know this is bad) but he is really sick so he has been sleeping in a seperate room in hopes of not getting his son or her sick...He just waits on the son to fall asleep then places him in bed with his mom and leaves for work. When he comes home at 4am he just stays in the living room on the couch.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
Well see right there that shows alot if he calls you more than often. He's showing that he favors you instead of his ex or whatever she is. Its all going to work out girl just you wait.
Good everything went well. I was wondering how everything went.
yeah it seems pretty cool jose dont worry about it if there gonna have sex there is nothing you can do about it but i doubt it would happen seening all the effort he is putting in to make you feel ok during this whole thing. im thinking after all this is over you guys should talk about where you see each other i understand you want to take it slow but if your trying to be friends it doesnt make too much since for you to get all mad over stuff like this thats more relationship type problems but im sure you guys will end up together just be real slow with each other and im sure it will work out. by the way good to see you back on IA dammit!!!
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