I can vouch for Porter's Jetta not being terribly fast in a straight line; I know as it was once my vehicle. The Jetta gets good gas mileage and uhhhh....yeah, that's about it. Old skool hand-powered sunroof. It does have at least 2 autox state championships in it though. Not bad for something that cracked 100k miles about 10 years ago.

-Biggly

P.S. Dan, that's awesome. Definitely want a ride whenever I get back down to Atlanta.