ATT: Married Couples

[ORGANIZATIONXIII]

man.. the girl I'm dating.. she DOES NOT want to get married..

reason: she says that she saw the divorce her mom/dad went through and the pain/hurt her family/her went through that she said she'd never do it... plus she puts it as a "piece of paper" and that we can have common law and say we're together and yadda yadda..

it took me off guard at the time.. I'd never heard of a woman saying she didn't want to get married, but she wants to have kids.. and then we saw some wedding dresses at the mall and she was like OMG!!?!?!? and I'm like

[PRiMAdonna]

Looks like everyone including myself picked A.

[ahabion]

We got married for 3 reasons:

1. She makes more money than me.

2. She needs my U.S. Legal status otherwise her ass is deported. (not a bad idea sometimes)

3. cuz i like her... a lot.

Tho..... I've ask men all over a similar question... Other than you're in love or she has/had your baby, why is your girl with you?? (or for the married ones, why did your wife marry you?) --i was asked that question, and all i did was scratch my head and my ass and say... i dunno..

[WHITE_NOISE]

Dont get married, I have 2 kids, 1 on the way, 2 different baby's mama. Sex is great with my wife("sex" not making love). And Oprah can kiss my ass someone shouldnt offer their help on an opinion who hasnt been there, ***** isnt married and doesnt have kids so shut the F up on the subject, now on life yes she has been through a lot but on relationships stay out! And Dr.Phil can go to HELL! WHEW that feels better.

I believe oprah has been married once before with stedman

[WHITE_NOISE]

We got married for 3 reasons:

1. She makes more money than me.

2. She needs my U.S. Legal status otherwise her ass is deported. (not a bad idea sometimes)

3. cuz i like her... a lot.

Tho..... I've ask men all over a similar question... Other than you're in love or she has/had your baby, why is your girl with you?? (or for the married ones, why did your wife marry you?) --i was asked that question, and all i did was scratch my head and my ass and say... i dunno..

That is exactly what I want to know. I want you guys to actually think about the question rather than think of something quick to say " because i love him/her"

What is the real reason? Some people make marriage like it is the death of them. If it is...why are you still with someone that does'nt satisfy you...you just like them because you have history?

If it is fine and dandy.....I can understand that. But there is reason behind why you commit to someone or someone commits to you on that level besides INLOVE.

If this is too deep for some of you IA people i apologize. I just want to get into some of you guys head to see what you think and what you see.

[BABY J]

This is where I give my opinion and people flame - but oh well. Stay tuned...

I TRULY feel that the idea of marriage is not realistic. Orrr, that it is realistic for like - less than 1% of the people that are actually married. The entire idea as a whole is something that WE created, and in all honesty I think that not many people can REALLY do it the way that it's actually designed to be done. At the end of the day, I think it is something that people do and contiue to do b/c they "said" that they would - not b/c of a real feeling from within that drives them. At the end of the day, who does marriage really benefit? I think the idea of mariage is for every1 OUTSIDE of the relationship - not really for the 2 people that are IN the relationship. Go w/ me here --> if u REALLY love some1 enuff to agree to marry them, and that means to do ALL the things that we have accepted marriage to be, then what does the actual ACT of getting married do for the 2 of you? Do you love them "a TADDDDDD bit more AFTER the marriage than you did the day before you got married?? LOL. In fact... IMO it does nothing. You can agree, or decide to committ to a person w/out the preacher, the church, and the hooplah and theoretically have the same life that you lead as a married couple. When I lived in OKC, my next door neighbors were together 19 years - after meeting each other only 4 days - and have been together since, and are by all definitions of the word "married" - although not legally married. They are more married than people I know w/ the license and the title that cheat on ea other every chance that they get. When I think of it this way, who is "really" married --> hmmmmmm.... food for thought.

I also think it's funny that people say they married for love, when IMHO there is really no 2 people on the planet who can define the word the same, if they can defint it at all. I find it interesting that if I say to a gf "Baby I am hungry", I get a long drawn out question-session - she wants more details... like..."So, ur hungry? What are you hungry for - u wanna eat in, or u wanna eat out... something quick, or do u you want me to cook, etc." The phrase "I'm hungry" gets all kinds of thought and questions - yet you can date/be married to some1 for 10 years and say "I love you" and you get a simple "I love you too. Goodnight." THA ****?? "I'm hungry" gets a full-fledged interview, but "I love you" get's "ilu2", a kiss, and then a "gnite." Couples spend YEARS of their lives telling each other "I love you" and not ONCE have they asked their spouse "well what does love mean to you, baby, when you say it to me." For all you know - you could be talking about 2 TOTALLY different things. Hell, for ME - love could mean that if I cheat on you, I will be very careful to make sure that you don't find out about it - or I'll make sure I don't bring home chlamydia - lol. And for YOU, it could mean that you won't cheat on me at all.

Rather than build families, lives, kids and marriages around a term that no1 on the planet can possibly understand or define (love) - why not build it on terms that EVERY1 gets... care, concern, trust, friendship etc. Those terms are not so "mysterious", and every "gets it". IMO if relationships are built on those things, and it reciprocated from both parties - even in all that greatness, we'd only be part of the way there on what God (or the forces that be) wanted real love to be.

<insert flaming here>

Baby J

[BABY J]

^ Dude - what the hell are you talkin' about?

[manilikecars]

got married for the tax break and that love thing too

[BobbyFresco]

I got married for the dumbest F'in reason ever: She got pregnant and I was doing that I thought I was supposed to do...I figured that i could make a family and that my kids would be enough to keep me in it.....Turns out, I was wrong as hell.....Now I'm divorced. Thank God.
Word of advice: never get married solely for the sake of children.....

[Tasuki_Civic]

This is where I give my opinion and people flame - but oh well. Stay tuned...

I TRULY feel that the idea of marriage is not realistic. Orrr, that it is realistic for like - less than 1% of the people that are actually married. The entire idea as a whole is something that WE created, and in all honesty I think that not many people can REALLY do it the way that it's actually designed to be done. At the end of the day, I think it is something that people do and contiue to do b/c they "said" that they would - not b/c of a real feeling from within that drives them. At the end of the day, who does marriage really benefit? I think the idea of mariage is for every1 OUTSIDE of the relationship - not really for the 2 people that are IN the relationship. Go w/ me here --> if u REALLY love some1 enuff to agree to marry them, and that means to do ALL the things that we have accepted marriage to be, then what does the actual ACT of getting married do for the 2 of you? Do you love them "a TADDDDDD bit more AFTER the marriage than you did the day before you got married?? LOL. In fact... IMO it does nothing. You can agree, or decide to committ to a person w/out the preacher, the church, and the hooplah and theoretically have the same life that you lead as a married couple. When I lived in OKC, my next door neighbors were together 19 years - after meeting each other only 4 days - and have been together since, and are by all definitions of the word "married" - although not legally married. They are more married than people I know w/ the license and the title that cheat on ea other every chance that they get. When I think of it this way, who is "really" married --> hmmmmmm.... food for thought.

I also think it's funny that people say they married for love, when IMHO there is really no 2 people on the planet who can define the word the same, if they can defint it at all. I find it interesting that if I say to a gf "Baby I am hungry", I get a long drawn out question-session - she wants more details... like..."So, ur hungry? What are you hungry for - u wanna eat in, or u wanna eat out... something quick, or do u you want me to cook, etc." The phrase "I'm hungry" gets all kinds of thought and questions - yet you can date/be married to some1 for 10 years and say "I love you" and you get a simple "I love you too. Goodnight." THA ****?? "I'm hungry" gets a full-fledged interview, but "I love you" get's "ilu2", a kiss, and then a "gnite." Couples spend YEARS of their lives telling each other "I love you" and not ONCE have they asked their spouse "well what does love mean to you, baby, when you say it to me." For all you know - you could be talking about 2 TOTALLY different things. Hell, for ME - love could mean that if I cheat on you, I will be very careful to make sure that you don't find out about it - or I'll make sure I don't bring home chlamydia - lol. And for YOU, it could mean that you won't cheat on me at all.

Rather than build families, lives, kids and marriages around a term that no1 on the planet can possibly understand or define (love) - why not build it on terms that EVERY1 gets... care, concern, trust, friendship etc. Those terms are not so "mysterious", and every "gets it". IMO if relationships are built on those things, and it reciprocated from both parties - even in all that greatness, we'd only be part of the way there on what God (or the forces that be) wanted real love to be.

<insert flaming here>

Baby J

haha J you have "some" good points

[Tasuki_Civic]

I got married for the dumbest F'in reason ever: She got pregnant and I was doing that I thought I was supposed to do...I figured that i could make a family and that my kids would be enough to keep me in it.....Turns out, I was wrong as hell.....Now I'm divorced. Thank God.
Word of advice: never get married solely for the sake of children.....

thats what i think as well

[AtifSajid]

Yeah, this might sound a little gay but, I turned on Oprah a little while ago and I saw she had some married couples on her show.

The question she asked them is why did they get married. One guy said he never thought about it until the question was asked. Other couples, for each person, had different reasons or the same.

I am not married but I am curious to those who are here on IA.

Why did you get married?

The reason I got married was because I had finished school, I had a nice stable job and money coming in. I had pretty much had my fun with women and wasnt craving anything in particular, so I said lets go ahead and do it. So I found the finest/best woman out there and married her.

[Julio]

marriage is over rated. The US has the worst divorced rate in the world.. That even helps my decision even more.
I will never get married...... I hope one day to have a kid... But a marriage is not need for that. So not to worried.

[BABY J]

^^^ Aaaaah, some1 who thinks like me - that means that you must be a genius too!