Originally Posted by
BABY J
This is where I give my opinion and people flame - but oh well. Stay tuned...
I TRULY feel that the idea of marriage is not realistic. Orrr, that it is realistic for like - less than 1% of the people that are actually married. The entire idea as a whole is something that WE created, and in all honesty I think that not many people can REALLY do it the way that it's actually designed to be done. At the end of the day, I think it is something that people do and contiue to do b/c they "said" that they would - not b/c of a real feeling from within that drives them. At the end of the day, who does marriage really benefit? I think the idea of mariage is for every1 OUTSIDE of the relationship - not really for the 2 people that are IN the relationship. Go w/ me here --> if u REALLY love some1 enuff to agree to marry them, and that means to do ALL the things that we have accepted marriage to be, then what does the actual ACT of getting married do for the 2 of you? Do you love them "a TADDDDDD bit more AFTER the marriage than you did the day before you got married?? LOL. In fact... IMO it does nothing. You can agree, or decide to committ to a person w/out the preacher, the church, and the hooplah and theoretically have the same life that you lead as a married couple. When I lived in OKC, my next door neighbors were together 19 years - after meeting each other only 4 days - and have been together since, and are by all definitions of the word "married" - although not legally married. They are more married than people I know w/ the license and the title that cheat on ea other every chance that they get. When I think of it this way, who is "really" married --> hmmmmmm.... food for thought.
I also think it's funny that people say they married for love, when IMHO there is really no 2 people on the planet who can define the word the same, if they can defint it at all. I find it interesting that if I say to a gf "Baby I am hungry", I get a long drawn out question-session - she wants more details... like..."So, ur hungry? What are you hungry for - u wanna eat in, or u wanna eat out... something quick, or do u you want me to cook, etc." The phrase "I'm hungry" gets all kinds of thought and questions - yet you can date/be married to some1 for 10 years and say "I love you" and you get a simple "I love you too. Goodnight." THA ****?? "I'm hungry" gets a full-fledged interview, but "I love you" get's "ilu2", a kiss, and then a "gnite." Couples spend YEARS of their lives telling each other "I love you" and not ONCE have they asked their spouse "well what does love mean to you, baby, when you say it to me." For all you know - you could be talking about 2 TOTALLY different things. Hell, for ME - love could mean that if I cheat on you, I will be very careful to make sure that you don't find out about it - or I'll make sure I don't bring home chlamydia - lol. And for YOU, it could mean that you won't cheat on me at all.
Rather than build families, lives, kids and marriages around a term that no1 on the planet can possibly understand or define (love) - why not build it on terms that EVERY1 gets... care, concern, trust, friendship etc. Those terms are not so "mysterious", and every "gets it". IMO if relationships are built on those things, and it reciprocated from both parties - even in all that greatness, we'd only be part of the way there on what God (or the forces that be) wanted real love to be.
<insert flaming here>
Baby J
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Why did you get married?
