The funniest stories always belong to my friends not really me.

My buddy Brian Teel was fucking some girl in her room he met at this party. She was a little too wasted. He said he was fucking her from behind and she puked all over the floor off the bed. We were like oooooooo what did you do Teel run out of the room.

Teel-"fuck no I finished she's cleaning up a mess either way"

classic