Is Its Wrong

[Brett]

Tell me guys, Leisa has been gone just under 6 months now, Is it wrong of me if I am starting to spend time with a girl that I am really starting to like alot, and I know Leisa told me 2 weeks before she passed that if she ever had something happen to her, that she would want me to meet someone, settle down, have kids, etc... So a huge part of me feels I am doing what she would want, but then a part of me feels guilty for moving on from the life I had with Leisa, nah mean?

[FasTech]

Well, I have never lost a lover so... I don't know like you do. But, I don't think their is anything wrong with spending time with another woman after 6 months, man. Like, I kinda can imagine how you feel about the situation, but I say go for it.

[Julio]

Do it...

If she said that....

[stillaneon]

Moving on is completely normal.

Leisa would not have wanted you to sit at home alone constantly worrying etc.

Brett, you could honestly sit around all day and worry about whether or not things are "right" or "acceptable", but only you know how you feel. Everyone knows how much you loved Leisa, and I don't think anyone has the right to tell you that you can't be happy again, especially since even Leisa would not want you to dwell on this forever.

Do what you feel is right and in the end what will make you happy, because when it comes down to it, Leisa would most likely rather see you smile and be happy, than unhappy in any situation....

[Brett]

Yeah its funny, for the last 2 years of her life she would always tell me what she wanted "If she was to pass" and she always talked about it as if it was around the age id be when she did. I think because she lost her brother 5 years ago (He was 30) and her sister died in just 6 months before Leisa did (She was 44) I think Leisa honestly didnt feel she would live a long life and 2 weeks before her stroke we were driving in the S2K and she started to quiz me, she said to me "Brett what do I want when I die to happen" and I had to tell her, I know she wanted to be cremated, keep her urn with me, I had to promise her some day Id find a way to move on, meet someone, and have the kids she couldnt give me... I told her to STFU when we talked about it because I just never wanted to face that some day, and I never thought her day would come at 41, maybe 81 ya know?

I mean, I know in my heart what she wanted, I guess its just hard to begin to open my heart so much again to someone so new, that ISNT Leisa. But I am happy again, she really makes me smile again, and has shown me I can love again.

[StupidBikerBoy]

I don't think its wrong, but then I have never been in your shoes. I think you are really the only one that can answer that..

[Arm&hammer]

well i would say go for it.
its not wrong and you should just do what makes you feel the best.
good luck with whatever your choice should be, and sorry about your loss.

[Vteckidd]

Totally natural, one chapter is over in your life and now another one is starting.

All i can say is TAKE IT SLOW and do no rush anything.

[quickdodge®]

Totally natural, one chapter is over in your life and now another one is starting.

All i can say is TAKE IT SLOW and do no rush anything.

And to add to this, do NOT, and I mean this, continually talk about Leisa.

AND DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, DUDE!!!!

I promise that you WILL drive a girl away if you constantly talk about her. She will be sympathetic at first, but it will fade. Fast. She will catch the sense that you have not moved on yet. She will wonder how long she'll have to play second fiddle to Leisa. AND, she will think that she is just a rebound fling.

If you move on, you have to move on. There is a difference in moving on and completely forgetting. Know that difference and know when to talk and when not to talk about Leisa when you are on dates.

One other thing. I don't know how your house looks right now (with regards to Leisa pictures and things), but I would not have a female over if it looks like you have a shrine there. She will think the above mentioned if you do. Again, it's perfectly fine to have a picture or two in the main room of her or of her and both of you.

I hope you see what I'm saying and don't take this offensively. Later, QD.

[Scotsman]

Totally natural, one chapter is over in your life and now another one is starting.

All i can say is TAKE IT SLOW and do no rush anything.

smart man

[Slomaro Z28]

As stated above dont move too fast, just hang out go to dinner and such and take it slow.

[Vteckidd]

And to add to this, do NOT, and I mean this, continually talk about Leisa.

AND DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, DUDE!!!!

I promise that you WILL drive a girl away if you constantly talk about her. She will be sympathetic at first, but it will fade. Fast. She will catch the sense that you have not moved on yet. She will wonder how long she'll have to play second fiddle to Leisa. AND, she will think that she is just a rebound fling.

If you move on, you have to move on. There is a difference in moving on and completely forgetting. Know that difference and know when to talk and when not to talk about Leisa when you are on dates.

One other thing. I don't know how your house looks right now (with regards to Leisa pictures and things), but I would not have a female over if it looks like you have a shrine there. She will think the above mentioned if you do. Again, it's perfectly fine to have a picture or two in the main room of her or of her and both of you.

I hope you see what I'm saying and don't take this offensively. Later, QD.

i concur,

[Tracy]

Brett,

Leisa would want you to be happy. I say you do what you feel. Only you can say when you are ready. Only you know what you and Leisa talked about. Ever since Val passed, I feel very strongly that God (or whatever ) starts preparing you for the death of a loved one in strange ways. Val and I talked for a very long time the night before she passed. We used to be pretty close but had our differences for a while before her passing. It was so weird to me that we had such a nice long talk about things like that right before she passed. For whatever reason, we both decided that night that we were really friends even if we acted like we weren't. We talked a lot about her life and how much she loved Tray and how happy she was that they were going to get married. She gave me a ton of advice on how to get Dan to marry me (butt secks ). It was like she was telling me all of the things she ever wanted me to know and I felt compelled to do the same with her. I feel like God (or whatever) was preparing me for her to go. I would have had a much harder time with her death and the way we left things if we didn't have that talk. Same goes for Leisa. God was preparing yo for her to go and made sure that you knew how she would want things to be when she was gone.

I'm not a religious person, but I am spiritual and this is my opinion

[MR2DR]

Hey man,

I've been reading your posts about Leisa since she past on. My heart goes out to you (no homo) and I can tell that you loved Leisa very much. That said, I think 6 months is too early. If anything the advice I give you is to continue talking to that other girl but don't settle down yet or anytime soon. Just my $.02

[§treet_§peed]

Just do what is in your heart. That is all that one can do, after all...

[Maniacc]

Dear brett,

Move on and stop bringing up leisa's name or this current girlfriend will get pissed and possibly say 'fuck it' and move on.

Your pal, Elton John.

[Echonova]

Hit it and then be all like... Naw it's too soon.



Is it someone on here?

[Evil Goat]

And to add to this, do NOT, and I mean this, continually talk about Leisa.

AND DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, DUDE!!!!

I promise that you WILL drive a girl away if you constantly talk about her. She will be sympathetic at first, but it will fade. Fast. She will catch the sense that you have not moved on yet. She will wonder how long she'll have to play second fiddle to Leisa. AND, she will think that she is just a rebound fling.

If you move on, you have to move on. There is a difference in moving on and completely forgetting. Know that difference and know when to talk and when not to talk about Leisa when you are on dates.

One other thing. I don't know how your house looks right now (with regards to Leisa pictures and things), but I would not have a female over if it looks like you have a shrine there. She will think the above mentioned if you do. Again, it's perfectly fine to have a picture or two in the main room of her or of her and both of you.

I hope you see what I'm saying and don't take this offensively. Later, QD.

spot on.

[Catnip]

Hit it and then be all like... Naw it's too soon.



Is it someone on here?

Tr00f. Just be like, "shawty, we can be friends, but right now, I wanna see you dance."

[K20Z1]

TRUE LOVE....never has an ending.

[Brett]

TRUE LOVE....never has an ending.

QFT, My love for Leisa will never end.

QD, Mike and the rest of you all.. Thanks for the feedback. Yeah I did for a while basically have a shrine to Leisa in this house, But she came over one night and said it was over powering to her, so I realized at that moment it was time to let go of things and put stuff up. I still have a picture of us in the living room and one up here in the bedroom, and of course her URN, but I had tons of pics, etc all over.

I dont really talk about Leisa to her anymore. I know she doesnt like coming here to the house, so when she does its just for a few minutes, because she says she can feel Leisa here in this house as if she is still here. She knows I will always love Leisa but I also explained to her and made her understand she is gone, I dont want her trying to be Leisa or feel she has to fill her shoes. I dont want anyone taking her place, no one will ever be able to replace her. I told her just be who she is, thats who I am crazy about.

Tracy.... Yeah sometimes I think the talks we had were to prepare me, and I am SO glad you and Val had that talk before she passed, I wish everyday Leisa and I could have said more, but it wasnt meant to be I guess, 2 weeks before when she made me tell her what I knew she wanted, I guess was my moment to prepare. I think she hung on in her coma as long as she did to give me a few weeks to learn how to pay the bills, get things situated and then she let go when she felt it was time.

I am not going to marry this girl tomorrow, and in ways its odd sometimes to feel for her when for 10 years I only knew how to feel for Leisa, BUT fact is she is gone, and I cant live in the past forever. I do really like this girl but we are taking it slow, we arent officially dating but we do spend alot of time together. But thank you all for the words, Means alot.

[Jimmy B]

And to add to this, do NOT, and I mean this, continually talk about Leisa.

AND DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, DUDE!!!!

I promise that you WILL drive a girl away if you constantly talk about her. She will be sympathetic at first, but it will fade. Fast. She will catch the sense that you have not moved on yet. She will wonder how long she'll have to play second fiddle to Leisa. AND, she will think that she is just a rebound fling.

If you move on, you have to move on. There is a difference in moving on and completely forgetting. Know that difference and know when to talk and when not to talk about Leisa when you are on dates.

One other thing. I don't know how your house looks right now (with regards to Leisa pictures and things), but I would not have a female over if it looks like you have a shrine there. She will think the above mentioned if you do. Again, it's perfectly fine to have a picture or two in the main room of her or of her and both of you.

I hope you see what I'm saying and don't take this offensively. Later, QD.

Real talk, Mike...

Brett, it seems like you are ready to start new, Never forget abut Liesa, but at the same time, Youi can think about her all the time eather. To date/hangout, etc wiht someone new, you cant have any baggage that will bother the other person.
I think you have your head on straight, do what your heart, and head tell ya to do.

[SicStang03]

QFT, My love for Leisa will never end.

QD, Mike and the rest of you all.. Thanks for the feedback. Yeah I did for a while basically have a shrine to Leisa in this house, But she came over one night and said it was over powering to her, so I realized at that moment it was time to let go of things and put stuff up. I still have a picture of us in the living room and one up here in the bedroom, and of course her URN, but I had tons of pics, etc all over.

I dont really talk about Leisa to her anymore. I know she doesnt like coming here to the house, so when she does its just for a few minutes, because she says she can feel Leisa here in this house as if she is still here. She knows I will always love Leisa but I also explained to her and made her understand she is gone, I dont want her trying to be Leisa or feel she has to fill her shoes. I dont want anyone taking her place, no one will ever be able to replace her. I told her just be who she is, thats who I am crazy about.

Tracy.... Yeah sometimes I think the talks we had were to prepare me, and I am SO glad you and Val had that talk before she passed, I wish everyday Leisa and I could have said more, but it wasnt meant to be I guess, 2 weeks before when she made me tell her what I knew she wanted, I guess was my moment to prepare. I think she hung on in her coma as long as she did to give me a few weeks to learn how to pay the bills, get things situated and then she let go when she felt it was time.

I am not going to marry this girl tomorrow, and in ways its odd sometimes to feel for her when for 10 years I only knew how to feel for Leisa, BUT fact is she is gone, and I cant live in the past forever. I do really like this girl but we are taking it slow, we arent officially dating but we do spend alot of time together. But thank you all for the words, Means alot.

The easiest way to get over someone is to spend time with someone else. Not saying you have to forget Leisa, but you need to move on.

[blazin']

I think its normal to feel a little guilty for meeting someone new, but life's short. Be happy.

[AnthonyF]

Leisa will ALWAYS be something special to you. She knows this. She knows if she was still around SHE would be your number 1. No1 else would come before her. I am sure she wants the best for you and is watching over you.

-Ant.

[Brett]

Yeah Leisa will always be my #1 girl till the day I die, and if it works out with this girl or whoever, No one will ever replace her like I said, But I do realize I need to live again and live for me, not dwell on 6 months ago anymore

[AnthonyF]

But I do realize I need to live again and live for me

So, when we hookin up big boy.

-Ant.

[4dmin]

Do it Brett..nothing wrong with it.

[0p7!mu5]

Brett man i may not know ya personally and never got the chance to meet Leisa but i kinda had a similar situation or two with my grandfather and my ex fiancee'. Like me and grandad were close like real close, almost like the father I never really had and it was the hardest thing for me (and in some ways still is) that he passed away. It's been a lil over 5 years now. But just like with Leisa i talked to him the night before he passed and pretty much i think he knew what was goin on and told me everything i needed to hear when at the time i thought nothing else was going right with school and my parents so hear his last words tellin me to be successful and make it out of highschool ( i was junior when this happened) and follow my plans despite what anybody days still clung hard to me. I mean in those years since then i finally got a house and a good job and everything so far that i told him i was planning on doing and i owe that last lil push to him. its weird though because I was the last person to speak to him before he passed a few hours later after i got off the phone ( he had cancer after living with virtually no immune system for about 7-8 years thanks to a heart transplant. so it ended alot faster than we thought).
The second situation was my ex had cancer as well and I was there with her the majority of the way through it all and afterward until we broke up. I think after the mess with grandad I wasn't goin to leave her for anything but I faced the real possibilty when she got really really sick and wasn't sure if she was going to make it. it was hard as hell watching that and all I could think of was what's next. thankfully she pulled through by shear luck but still her last night before she had that turn around was that shit happens and when its our time its our time just dont let her passin stop me from being happy and be as much of a joy to somebody else as I was to her.

I think dude seriously like everyone said take it slow. 6 months is a long time for some people after a loss like that and you wont be over it for a long while not by a long shot. If she's cool she'll understand but QD is right you also gotta show you can move on and still not forget (as impossible as it is to forget her at all) what she meant and what she did for you. Just go out and have fun it will work itself out. try not to think to hard on it bro...............























.................and take pics for the RLD!!:boobies: