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The most important thing to remember about your puppet show is to make sure you keep the child's attention. The way you do this is with cheese. Retarded kids love cheese and you can keep their attention for hours as long as you don't run out of cheese. Kraft Singles work the best because retards like the square shape and if they're not hungry, they still enjoy slapping themselves with the slices or wearing them like a hat.

The play might begin with a simple debate between the puppets -- make sure to clearly establish the George W Bush puppet as good and the Saddam Hussein puppet as evil. But do not get carried away and scare your retard, as they lose control of their bladders much easier than normal kids. Also, make sure to leave plenty of time to explain that sock puppets only talk when mommy and daddy use them -- and retarded children should not try talking to socks without parental supervision -- especially in public or when you have guests over