How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.
How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.
Val for President
haha so true so true...Originally Posted by Hulud
anyway, theres a white guy, a mexican and a cuban all on a bus. They all decide that they all have too much crap in their country so they all agree to throw one thing out. the mexican throws a taco out the window and says that he has too many of those in his country. The cuban throws a cigar out saying he has too many in his countr. The white guy grabs the mexican and throws him out saying he has too many of those in his country...lol
joke creator must have lived around buford highway....
FUCK B&D COMMUNICATIONS!
Remember the black guy on the Jetsons? You don't?
Isn't the future going to be GREAT?!
That's because everyone's going to be mixed in the future...you're all going to be some blend of Indian and/or Chinese. Think about it...two of the largest populations in the world.
You can run now...
Anyway...these are both probably old, but what jokes aren't?
You know you're a hick when...
- The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
- You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
- You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
- Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."
- You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
- You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
- Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, y'all watch this!"
- Your Junior/Senior prom had a daycare.
- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
- The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
- Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.
- You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
-------
A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.
"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said 'goats'!"
-------
A white girl came up to her dad who was sitting in a beaten up armchair. "Pa, kin ah borrow the truck to-nahgt?" she asked. Her dad looked up to her and said, "Darlin', yew know what yew haf t'do if'n yew wants to borrer th' truck." "But Pa! Ah haf t'go naow!" the white girl cried. Her daddy stood up and unzipped his pants. "Yew know perfectly well what yew haf t'do. On yer knees, bitch!" The white girl complied and started sucking her dad's cock. After a few seconds she stopped in disgust and looked up to her dad. "Gee Pa, yore dick shore tastes like shit!" Her dad slapped his forhead and said, "Dammit, Ah forgot! Ah already loaned the truck to yer brother just a few minutes ago!"
Last edited by VooDooXII; 03-28-2007 at 01:11 AM.
LOL +1
LMFAO!!! IVE NEVER HEARD THAT +1
what do you call 5 black people on the moon?
a problem..
what do you call all black people on the moon?
problem solved
FUCK B&D COMMUNICATIONS!
Stevo repped. Hulud and Voodooxii? I think thats it I must spread it around but remind me guys.
Some of these had me crackin up. I will post some I have, they are probably repeats in other threads and have been heard before, but oh well. And I'm not racist, I've heard all of these from other people.
Whats the difference between a picnic table and a black father?
A picnic table can support a family.
Whats the most confusing holiday in the ghetto?
Fathers day.
How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shit?
9 months.
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Whats the biggest dilemma jews face?
Free ham.
lolol at free ham
FUCK B&D COMMUNICATIONS!
This thread is so funny LOL
I wish I had some white jokes.
O wait I got one:
Five wiggers were driving in a Cadillac when they drove off the Grand canyon. Why is this sad?
A cadillac seats six.
"DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER
how do u surcomsize a redneck ????
kick his sister in the chin
Repost...but a good one still.
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder.
"Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
what'd you call a pool full of mexicans?
BEAN DIP!
..
theres a truck driver driving throught alabama, hes got a load of bowling balls. as he's driving a deer jumps out in front of him, he swerves to miss it, and the truck ends up flipping and he gets knocked out. when he comes to the bowling balls are all over the place, and theres an old white man w/a pitchfork stabbing the bowling balls.. so the truck driver goes up to him and asks: what're you doing that for? the old man replies, KILLIN THE NIGGLETTES B4 THEY HATCH!!!
there i did it.. what'd you think?
First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."
Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."
whats the most confusing day in harlem?
fathers day!
..
what do you call a black kid on a bike?
THIEF!!
..
how do you keep a black guy from hanging out in your front yard?
hang him out back
..
how do you get a black guy out of a tree?
cut the rope..
there i did it.. what'd you think?
what do you do when you see a nigger hoppin around on one leg?
STOP LAUGHING AND RELOAD!
How do you kill 100 flies at once?
Smack a little Ethiopian boy in the face with a newspaper!
What do you say when you're TV starts flaoting in the middle of the night?
DROP IT NIGGER!
No but seriously, im not ractist... i have a colored TV.]
Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
YOU SWERVE TO MISS THE POTHOLE!
OK IM DONE :X
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light? A: None, white girls can't screw
there i did it.. what'd you think?
What's the only thing positive about a trailer trash white girl? HIV
you guys have some terrible jokes...i mean terrible like tha shit aint funny. but hey to each is own. some were funny ...i dont know where you guys get these jokes but all i can say is Wow
I have NOTHING against black people.. i think EVERYONE should own one..
OK SERIOUSLY DONE.
Why is it that Jews like to watch pornos in reverse?
They like the part when the hooker gives the money back.
lol @ ricky.. he's on a roll!
there i did it.. what'd you think?
whats the worst part about being a black jew?
you have to sit in the back of the oVEN :]
i cant help myself..
haha thats a bad joke! you guys im surprised about all these jokes that are coming up in here. but i know i shouldnt be. tisk tisk tisk.
why are fags buried 12 feet under?
because deep down they're really good people.
Why can't stevie wonder read?
Because he's black
What do you call a dead black man in a barn?
Antique farm equipment
BTW...I have a friend who knows a black guy, so its cool
Why is stevie wonder always smiling so much?Why can't stevie wonder read?
Because he's black
What do you call a dead black man in a barn?
Antique farm equipment
BTW...I have a friend who knows a black guy, so its cool
Because he doesn't know he's black.
what do you call a barn full of black ppl ?
antique farm equipment
Edit: i now see that is a repost sorry guys
What do you call 5 white guys pushing a car?
White Power
What do you call 5 black guys pushing a car?
Grand Theft Auto
Have you ever seen Stevie Wonders wife????
Neither has he
Little Timmy has a Jewish mom and Black dad. So one day he says Mom, Dad, am I more black or am I more Jewish?? And his parents say well why would you wanna know something like that for??
And Timmy replies
Because little Johnny down the street just got a new bike and I don't know wiether to Jew him out of it, or just steal it.
since everyones got one,
why cant black people be astrounauts?
their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
what do black kids get for xmas?
your bike.
------------------------------------
Rednecks driving rules
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has right of way.
Never tow another car using duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
Do not remove the marlabro from your mouth before telling the state trooper to piss off.
When taking Shortcut off road, be careful as not to hit anyone who might be walking.
lol
I asked my girlfriend that question and she responded with "Nothing." LOL
I love how everyone's defending themselves as they tell their joke.
I'm not.
x2I'm not.
(and lol @ that gif)
A-fucking-mazing.I'm not.
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