One Year Ago Today...(didn't know where else to post this)

[HvyArms]

One year ago, today, I lost my cousin. He was a Freshman at Clark Atlanta University, same school I got my BS at. I miss him.

He was only 18 when he was killed, but in so many ways I feel that he has much more wisdom than I. The night he died, I didn't cry, I've long since lost my tears. I haven't cried since I was 5, he was 2 then. I miss him.

He has 3 brothers, and 2 sisters, but his death created this void and we've all kind of collapsed into it.

Because of the circumstances surrounding his death, our families have become divided. I see my uncle, and he speaks with a smile, but we talk as though we're not even related. His oldest brother and I never really got along, but our relationship has become even more strained since that night.

He doesn't blame me for his brother's death, but he blames me for my inaction. I held my cousin while he died, as his soul left him. I can remember holding him tightly, hoping that my firm embrace would encourage him to hold onto his life.

When the ambulance got there, I was shouting to the Paramedics. I was shouting for them to hurry up. No he hadn't moved, at all, I wasn't sure he was still breathing, but he was still warm. The Medic asked me to lay him down, so that they could attend to him. It was then, that I realized he wasn't warm at all. That it was his blood that was warm, and it had soaked my clothes. I was holding him so close to me, that I thought the warmth was coming from his body.

One year ago, today, I lost my cousin. And I miss him.


RIP Hajj

May Allah forgive your sins, and reward your good deeds, and grant you paradise.

[Leisa]

Damn... that actually brought tears to my eyes...


RIP

[2.0civic]

sorry to hear that man

[The Yousef]

My prayers are with them and you bro...

[2.0civic]

Beleive me, in all seriousness, i know EXACTLY how you feel. My fathers side of the family is HUGE (my grandparents had 12 kids...) and when my grandpa ded in 94, things got strained and when my grandma died my junior year of high school, out of ALL my relatives, i talk to maybe 12 of them total since then. I havent seen or talked to 90% of them since my grandma died.

Its weird how one person can pretty much hold an entire family together

[HvyArms]

thanks for the condolences

[HvyArms]

Beleive me, in all seriousness, i know EXACTLY how you feel. My fathers side of the family is HUGE (my grandparents had 12 kids...) and when my grandpa ded in 94, things got strained and when my grandma died my junior year of high school, out of ALL my relatives, i talk to maybe 12 of them total since then. I havent seen or talked to 90% of them since my grandma died.

Its weird how one person can pretty much hold an entire family together

why is that? Family is very important, you have to reach out

[hemi]

I would have posted this ANYWHERE BUT THE WHORESLOUNGE....

[2.0civic]

why is that? Family is very important, you have to reach out

PART OF IT HAS SOME SHIT TO DO WITH WHEN MY GRANDPA DIED, ONE OF MY AUNTS WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF MY GRAMS WITH HIS MONEY...TOOK HER THREE YEARS TO GET A FOUNDATION DOWN FOR HER HOUSE AND ANOTHER 6 MONTHS AFTER MY GRAMPS DIED TO BUILD A HUGE FUCKING HOUSE...HMM...HER AND A FEW OTHER PRETTY MUCH SECLUDED THEMSELVES FROM EVERYONE AND SINCE MY DAD WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER HAD EVER BEEN DIVORCED, MY PART WAS ALWAYS THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE CROWD...OUT OF MY 12 AUNTS AND UNCLES, I TALK TO 3 OF THEM AND THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILIES...SUCKS BUT ITS WHATEVER

[HvyArms]

I would have posted this ANYWHERE BUT THE WHORESLOUNGE....

Why? And whats that clip in your sig from? Did the guy die?

[HvyArms]

PART OF IT HAS SOME SHIT TO DO WITH WHEN MY GRANDPA DIED, ONE OF MY AUNTS WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF MY GRAMS WITH HIS MONEY...TOOK HER THREE YEARS TO GET A FOUNDATION DOWN FOR HER HOUSE AND ANOTHER 6 MONTHS AFTER MY GRAMPS DIED TO BUILD A HUGE FUCKING HOUSE...HMM...HER AND A FEW OTHER PRETTY MUCH SECLUDED THEMSELVES FROM EVERYONE AND SINCE MY DAD WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER HAD EVER BEEN DIVORCED, MY PART WAS ALWAYS THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE CROWD...OUT OF MY 12 AUNTS AND UNCLES, I TALK TO 3 OF THEM AND THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILIES...SUCKS BUT ITS WHATEVER

I understand. As you get older, it'll matter less. Especially once you have children.

[99sib16]

sorry to hear about that,i lost my uncle two months ago, so i know how u feel.

[HvyArms]

sorry to hear that. how?

[hemi]

Why? And whats that clip in your sig from? Did the guy die?

Thanks! And no he didn't die....

Whoreslounge patrons are infamous for being less than compassionate...

Sorry to hear about your loss, but posting up in here is just asking for somebody to say something hurtful....

[HvyArms]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I dont really post anywhere else though, and you know, I kinda anticipate nonesense in the Whoreslounge. I just hope that people show a little respect, but if they dont I wouldnt be surprised.

[StupidBikerBoy]

R.I.P.

[Leisa]

Its weird how one person can pretty much hold an entire family together

Thats me right there...

[R.Kelly]

man sorry for your loss i lost my uncle 2 months ago and my greatgrandfather the week after my uncles death all within the thanksgiving break

[babygurl]

I am sorry abou your pain...the tears maybe gone, but the memories of that night, I am sure are still with you....

I can relate, on a certain level...I am not exactly sure how your cousin passed away...but my father when I was 10 was taken away from this earth, in a violent way. So I know how things go...I have dealt with the nightmares of that night for the past 13 years, and it continues to bother me...

So keep strong, your cousin is looking down on you smiling I am sure...


And to add to the family posts, yes it is very strange how one person can hold a huge family together...My mother has 6 bros/sis...and I barely have seen or spoken to them in a very long time...I am closer to my cousins on my mothers side than anyone...

[HvyArms]

I am sorry abou your pain...the tears maybe gone, but the memories of that night, I am sure are still with you....

I can relate, on a certain level...I am not exactly sure how your cousin passed away...but my father when I was 10 was taken away from this earth, in a violent way. So I know how things go...I have dealt with the nightmares of that night for the past 13 years, and it continues to bother me...

So keep strong, your cousin is looking down on you smiling I am sure......

Thank you. When someone dies violently, it's difficult because of all the intense emotion involved. And it's so sudden, I mean no death is anticipated, but murder just seem's so unjust and wrong.

I have nightmares about it as well. My friends and I kinda make up a tight circle, there used to be so many of us, but over the past 6 years we've buried 10. 8 to murder, 2 in an accident (brothers, 18 and 16).

But like you said, you have to continue to live. You wake up, and you remember your loved ones and friends, and what they meant for you, and you keep going.

[babygurl]

Thank you. When someone dies violently, it's difficult because of all the intense emotion involved. And it's so sudden, I mean no death is anticipated, but murder just seem's so unjust and wrong.

I have nightmares about it as well. My friends and I kinda make up a tight circle, there used to be so many of us, but over the past 6 years we've buried 10. 8 to murder, 2 in an accident (brothers, 18 and 16).

But like you said, you have to continue to live. You wake up, and you remember your loved ones and friends, and what they meants for you, and you keep going.

Very well said!

on a side note, nightmares do ease with time...just remember the good times, rather than the bad...

[HvyArms]

man sorry for your loss i lost my uncle 2 months ago and my greatgrandfather the week after my uncles death all within the thanksgiving break

I'm really sorry to hear that.

[LiL PaKi]

inallahi wainalahi rajeun..

[Maniaç]

RIP

[HvyArms]

inallahi wainalahi rajeun..

jazakullah

[BiH1320]

Sorry about your loss man. I know how it feels.

[HvyArms]

thank you