ex-relationship question..

[Frög]

yes, a relationship question.. but not like all the others, its no longer a relationship.. save the sarcastic comments, i just want to know what you guys would do.. dont give me that emo BS either because its not how it is..

ok, so my ex and i broke up 6 months ago, it was a really ugly breakup.. i mean it was bad.. we never really saw each other or talked at all after that.. right before the end of summer, she tries to have coffee w/ me to "talk", about what, I dont know and i didn't care.. I refused the invite and continued my way.. I dated her girl for almost 2 years, and during that time, I really thought she was the one, and loved her (yes, more than anything).. Fights became more frequent and the long distance (3+hours) didint help.. sh!t hit the fan, I wanted a break, and we never got back together and she went w/ another dude.. she was a total b!tch and fu.cked me harder than i ever thought possible and i will never forgive her for that..

I would be lying if i said i didnt still care for her.. i avoid everything about her and usually, its just easier for me.. but i am now over her, she crosses my mind all the time, but i dont feel that pit in my stomach or sadness when i think of her.. I am hooking up with other girls, and really getting my life together well.. ive never gotten such good grades in my college life, and the main reason for that is i am single.. I have mixed feelings about this breakup, but mostly i am happy to be SINGLE! but i feel like we could of really had something going for us, but we just both fu.cked up.. and yes it pisses me off if i see her with another guy!

I avoided having coffee with her before because i was still hurt, and didn't know how i would react when i saw her, and i thought after what she did to me, she didn't deserve anything, not even my time.. i am now over the anger part, and i come to realize that, though it was mostly her fault, it was also partly mine (like 90% her 10% me )

blah blah blah.. yesterday i get a message on facebook from her:

so this weekend i am coming back to atlanta, i havent seen you in a while and i thought that it would be nice to catch up on things. I hope that everything is going well for you right now. If you dont want to meet up then let me know, because in that case i will not waste my time. But anyway, hope that you are having a great time.


I am torn between two options: Coffee/no coffee..
A. No coffee- ignore her, be a complete d!ck..
shows I dont give a s!it (which is kind off what I want, not the "no coffee" part, the "i dont give a sh!t part")
B. No coffee- tell her I don't think its a good idea..
shows im still holding a grudge, weak, still hurt, and maybe shows immaturity..
C. Coffee- how do i answer her message? what do i do?
I want to go there and show her as she knows, that everything is good now, but i really dont know how im going to react.. honestly, i kind of want to have coffee w/ her. but im worried that i will snap if she says something wrong, or say the wrong things.. i want to act normal, but i am afraid i will either exaggerate and act all happy and fake, or just fu.ck up..


what should i do?

[Leisa]

I say go... catch up, and then leave with a simple hug.. it will lead her to beleive that you are doing fine without her...

[Killer]

A


no doubt in my mind you're not as over her as you think or none of this would be a hard decision... so if you do go... you're just gonna end up hurting again.... so i think it's better for you to avoid all that drama all together...

[Ed]

ex's are always hard to face, especially when its their fault.

option a - bad. you should at least tell her its not a good idea if you really dont wanna meet up.

option b - try to explain that she hurt you bad, and that you do wanna see her, but you're scared of snapping. and it might not be such a great idea.

option c - good, but you have to try to control yourself. you can just say the same thing i said on option b and do go see her. depending on how hard she hurt you, i really wouldnt though, if it was me. im pretty bitter myself. it took me a couple of years to forgive one of my ex gfs who did something pretty bad too.

[WhiteAccord]

Take it from me...

Go... Be friends...Its better than nothing... And you have nothing to lose.

Since you are "over her".

[rndockery98]

killer is right, you still have strong feelings for her. her message seems like she wants to clear the air between the two of you. if you are really ready to forgive her, then go, if you can't forgive her yet(and you might "snap"), then don't go. be prepared though, if you do go, and things go well, you'll prob end up hooking up again. which could lead more hurting.

[Frög]

I say go... catch up, and then leave with a simple hug.. it will lead her to beleive that you are doing fine without her...

i think she already believes that. but i could either enahnce it or fu.ck it up.. idk.. i think i could handle it, but idk..

A

no doubt in my mind you're not as over her as you think or none of this would be a hard decision... so if you do go... you're just gonna end up hurting again.... so i think it's better for you to avoid all that drama all together...

i guess i could see that, i really dont see myself getting hurt though, unless she purposely tries to, like rub in my face stuff that will piss me off, other guys.. in that case i will just walk out on her.. but i dont think that is her purpose here..

try to explain that she hurt you bad, and that you do wanna see her, but you're scared of snapping. and it might not be such a great idea.

i told her something in those lines last time she tried to have coffee..

[Hundo®]

piss on her.

[KPowerEP3]

I'd go if it were me, you always have the option to get up and walk out the door, you know?

[SLo_MKIII]

catch up clear the air, its the mature thing to do... just avoid anything that could possibly remind you of feelings you had/have for her

[Black R]

make plans with a hot chick and set it for immediately after you go to get coffee with her.

then meet her for coffee and get your closure. remain aloof and just bounce on out of there asap. she probably msg'd you because she just went through a breakup.....

[Frög]

piss on her.

lol wtf? i knew you were going to come in here with no help.. rep if i can..



ppl check your reps!

[Leisa]

piss on her.

golden shower ftw?

[mocha latte cupcake]

don't go... do the same i did with my ex... call her a horse humping hermaphrodite that generally puts things in perspective for them

[Hundo®]

lol i've told you time and again frenchy, she's not worth your time after what she did. if you go see her, make sure you get your balls back from her.

[81911SC]

Tough call man. I know how you feel believe me. If you do go see her, that might cause more drama to follow.

[Jaimecbr900]

This really belongs in the lifestyle section. I can move it if you want me to.

[Hundo®]

^^ but honestly who looks there.

[Jaimecbr900]

^^ but honestly who looks there.

That's not the point. Just like you can't post a pic of someone taking a bump into someone else's mouth in the WL, people need to keep the relationship questions/advice/bragging/story telling in the lifestyle section.....

[81911SC]

Ban him Jamie.

[Jaimecbr900]

Ban him Jamie.

[Hundo®]

That's not the point. Just like you can't post a pic of someone taking a bump into someone else's mouth in the WL, people need to keep the relationship questions/advice/bragging/story telling in the lifestyle section.....

true, but, as stated no one looks in the "lifestyle" section, he'll get a reply much quicker here.

plus as stated in the description..

100% useless, BS, rants, callouts, etc. (read the Privacy Policy) *Some material may be NWS

and Froggy is 100%useless, so he can post whatever he wants here!

[man]

I say go... catch up, and then leave with a simple hug.. it will lead her to beleive that you are doing fine without her...

x2

[quickdodge®]

^^ but honestly who looks there.

The people that want to have serious conversations look there. The LIFESTYLE and NEWS sections are the best places to post those appropriate topics because, on the average, the more intelligent people go in there to discuss things with a bit of relevance. The bull****ters don't go in there too much. So your thread may only have 5 pages after 3 months of posts. But I'd rather have 100 sensible, legitimate replies over 3 months than to have 100 pages(2,000 replies of complete bull**** in a week. Later, QD.

[Hundo®]

Ban him Jamie.

stop instagating you red headed troll.





that's you in the red.

[Hundo®]

The people that want to have serious conversations look there. The LIFESTYLE and NEWS sections are the best places to post those appropriate topics because, on the average, the more intelligent people go in there to discuss things with a bit of relevance. The bull****ters don't go in there too much. So your thread may only have 5 pages after 3 months of posts. But I'd rather have 100 sensible, legitimate replies over 3 months than to have 100 pages(2,000 replies of complete bull**** in a week. Later, QD.

duly noted, but, it's not really a topic of INTELLECTUAL discussion. i think he just wanted a quick answer to something coming up soon, and not all the replies in the WL are worthless

[quickdodge®]

not all the replies in the WL are worthless

I didn't say all would be. But it's a known fact that more than 50% will be. Later, QD.

[Hundo®]

agreed.

[BobbyFresco]

If you feel like you're ready to see her and you know for a fact that seeing her isn't going to stir up old feelings then go for it....BUT, if you know that you're not over her completely and there's a chance that seeing her could be a kick in the crotch for you and reawaken feelings you don't have when you don't deal with her on an everyday basis, then maybe you shouldn't

Fact of the matter is that you just have to be completely honest with yourself about how you feel and let that dictate what you do.....

[Hundo®]

If you feel like you're ready to see her and you know for a fact that seeing her isn't going to stir up old feelings then go for it....BUT, if you know that you're not over her completely and there's a chance that seeing her could be a kick in the crotch for you and reawaken feelings you don't have when you don't deal with her on an everyday basis, then maybe you shouldn't

Fact of the matter is that you just have to be completely honest with yourself about how you feel and let that dictate what you do.....

he's a wuss, he'll get back together with her if she asks him in person! he's a little cupcake, but i <3 him.

[Frög]

lol i've told you time and again frenchy, she's not worth your time after what she did. if you go see her, make sure you get your balls back from her.

lol!!

This really belongs in the lifestyle section. I can move it if you want me to.

nobody goes there, thats why i posted it here.. if you can leave it here it be cool.. either way is cool though..

true, but, as stated no one looks in the "lifestyle" section, he'll get a reply much quicker here.

plus as stated in the description..

100% useless, BS, rants, callouts, etc. (read the Privacy Policy) *Some material may be NWS

and Froggy is 100%useless, so he can post whatever he wants here!

wow! im going to seriously kill you by the end of this thread..

If you feel like you're ready to see her and you know for a fact that seeing her isn't going to stir up old feelings then go for it....BUT, if you know that you're not over her completely and there's a chance that seeing her could be a kick in the crotch for you and reawaken feelings you don't have when you don't deal with her on an everyday basis, then maybe you shouldn't

Fact of the matter is that you just have to be completely honest with yourself about how you feel and let that dictate what you do.....

great advice! rep'ed..

he's a wuss, he'll get back together with her if she asks him in person! he's a little cupcake, but i <3 him.

WOW again! kris GTFO this thread!! lol

and no, i wouldn't take her back.. no way in hell..

[Hundo®]

lol!!



nobody goes there, thats why i posted it here.. if you can leave it here it be cool.. either way is cool though..



wow! im going to seriously kill you by the end of this thread..



great advice! rep'ed..



WOW again! kris GTFO this thread!! lol

and no, i wouldn't take her back.. no way in hell..

don't lie, you're like a large teddy bear, that comes with a porsche! honestly though, i wouldn't go see her.. she's a vengefull beotch and she needs to be treated like **** by some guy so she'll realize what a stupid mistake she made.

but then again, we're all different... me i live my life a 1/4 mile at a time.. bitches come and go. **** a relationship until im 26+ ballin out of control.

[quickdodge®]

nobody goes there, thats why i posted it here...

You'd be surprised. Later, QD.

[Frög]

don't lie, you're like a large teddy bear, that comes with a porsche! honestly though, i wouldn't go see her.. she's a vengefull beotch and she needs to be treated like **** by some guy so she'll realize what a stupid mistake she made.

but then again, we're all different... me i live my life a 1/4 mile at a time.. bitches come and go. **** a relationship until im 26+ ballin out of control.

LOL @ teddy bear!! what do you mean vengefull? what would she try to do? you think she is jealous that im doing well and is going to try to **** me up? possible, just doesn't seem right.. please explain..

on the other note, im the same way, im not getting in a relationship until around that age.. and i will need to be ballin..

[Frög]

and think about it, i might quite possibly fu.ck her up when she see's me and that will make her realize what a stupid mistake she made.. if anyone would be seeking revenge, it would be me, not her..

[DontWasteIt]

I say go. If you don't you'll always wonder, or regret it or whatever. Just leave if she's being a *****. And be kinda mean. Girls like mean guys.

[MC Hammer]

A.
y not? what could it hurt?

[Frög]

alright, well today, well yesterday since its 1:30 am i finally had coffee with my ex.. she has been in town since Tuesday for thanksgiving break and has not stopped calling me or texting me to meet up.. i kept making up excuses and excuses and it started to become obvious that i was avoiding her..

then right before she left she asked again, but she was smart about it.. i told her i would be ready in over an hour and she was leaving in and hour.. so i thought i was straight, but instead she said she would wait..

i kind of was curious and since i am completely over her i wanted to see what she had become..

well it went great! talked for 2 hours, and we had a great time.. no games, no vengeful acts, lots of laughs and memories and just a awesome time.. im so glad i went.. i think she is having a harder time with this breakup than i am.. really sucks for her since she is the one who really ended it.. i do miss her, but hey, you "dont live in the past, you learn from it"..

and i will never try this long distance relationship again..

thought id share the update, that is all..

[Alan®]

glad to hear it 9 times out of 10 thats what happens in situations like yours.

the last chick i dated seriously before the chick i am with now ****ed me good. long story short she cheated on me with a 22 year old guy didnt talk to me for a week and thats how it ended. we didnt talk for like a month and then slowly over time we patched things up. you have to be mature about stuff like this. about a month ago i sent her a text about how looking back she ****ed up yes but that it showed how mature she was to at least be able to come back and patch things up since we were friends before that and that i thanked all the good times we had and yada yada yada. it caught her off gaurd but she was glad to hear it and it needed to be said.

reps for handling it like a man

[Alan®]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Frög again.