Now I know you guys know some terrible jokes judging by what you type everyday; let's condense them into this thread lol.
I'll start it off:
What part of a vegetable can you not fit in a blender?
The hospital bed.
Tasteless Joke Thread (If your easily offended GTFO)
Now I know you guys know some terrible jokes judging by what you type everyday; let's condense them into this thread lol.
I'll start it off:
What part of a vegetable can you not fit in a blender?
The hospital bed.
***********NJS******************
Why did the women love jesus?
Cause he was hung like this....
Val for President
IF anyone has seen Full Metal Jacket....
How do you stop 5 black guys from rapeing a white girl?
throw them a basketball
Mine really dosn't leave the garage. People across the street think it is a tool bench.
AGAIN *****************NJS*****************
Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.
Val for President
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice that the girl knows just as much about the game as they do, and they're really impressed. After the game they ask her "how is it that you know so much about baseball?"
She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change." The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. "What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your penis?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"Was it when they cut off your balls?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"What was the most painful part?"
"The part that hurt the most was when they... cut my salary in half!"
Val for President
Headline: Robert Kennedy, Sonny Bono split over tree decision.
Val for President
What doesnt belong on this list, meat, eggs, wife, blowjob?
You can beat your meat, your eggs, and your wife, but you cant beat a blowjob
Val for President
reps if i can
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw the gas bill.
Val for President
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and a 8 year old boy is walking on the other side, and the priest says "Let's fuck that little boy" and the rabbi says "Out of what?"
Val for President
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson while at the beach?
"You're in my son"
Val for President
Two condoms were walking by a gay bar, one says to the other "lets go in and get shit faced!"
Val for President
What do you call a white guy in the ocean?
A saltine cracker.
Val for President
A Polish guy and an Italian guy were deer hunting in the woods, when all of a sudden a beautiful naked woman appears from behind a tree.
The Italian man licked his lips and exclaimed: "Mama mia, I could eat you all night long"
The Polish guy shot her.
Val for President
What is a woman doing when she is staring at a blank piece of paper?
Reading her rights
Val for President
why aren't there many woman philosophers?
Cause there's no philosophy in the kitchen.
Val for President
There are 5 white guys in a Cadillac. They drive off the Grand Canyon. What is sad about this story?
A Cadillac seats 6.
Val for President
BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAOriginally Posted by Hulud
"DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER
What's the definition of confusion?
Father's Day in Harlem.
Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
lol when did the (If your easily) get added?
in as in sex
polish people eat anything literally
good shit right there lol
Val for President
Time to cue up the Aristocrats.
02 WRX Sport Wagon
+1
10 mins ago, i did it myself, cause someone will get their panties in a wad
Val for President
Who wants dead baby jokes?
Val for President
Good call. I'm just glad this shit has new life; it has such potential.
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby with fork stuck in it.
Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
What's blue and sits in the corner?
That same baby two weeks later. Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
how many babies does it take to paint a house?
depends how hard you throw them.
How do you get 100 dead babies into a phone booth?
A wood chipper.
How do you get them out?
Tostitos
Val for President
what walks in circles and cries?
a baby with its foot nailed to the floor.
What's sicker than a pile of dead babies?
A: The live one trying to eat it's way out.
Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
How do you make an 8 year old boy cry twice in the same day?
Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear
Val for President
What do you get when you stab a baby with a pencil?
A boner.
Val for President
How do you make a baby float?
2 scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby.
Val for President
What is black and blue, cries and hates sex?
The 8 year old in my closet.
Val for President
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your shoes off.
O shit my eyes are fucking up cuz I thought she said "you're my son" instead lolz.
"DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER
This one will kill the thread i think....
What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Val for President
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