Now I know you guys know some terrible jokes judging by what you type everyday; let's condense them into this thread lol.
I'll start it off:
What part of a vegetable can you not fit in a blender?
The hospital bed.
Tasteless Joke Thread (If your easily offended GTFO)
Now I know you guys know some terrible jokes judging by what you type everyday; let's condense them into this thread lol.
I'll start it off:
What part of a vegetable can you not fit in a blender?
The hospital bed.
***********NJS******************
Why did the women love jesus?
Cause he was hung like this....
Val for President
IF anyone has seen Full Metal Jacket....
How do you stop 5 black guys from rapeing a white girl?
throw them a basketball
Mine really dosn't leave the garage. People across the street think it is a tool bench.
AGAIN *****************NJS*****************
Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.
Val for President
BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAOriginally Posted by Hulud
Top 10 Reasons Why Ber is better than Mohammed(just to be fair)
10. Beer lets you have beer. Mohammed won't
9. Beer's never caused several major wars
8. they don't force beer on minors that can't think for themselves
7. when you have beer you don't go into cafe's and blow themselves up
6. nobody's ever been stoned to death because she refused to wear her beer helmut
5. no one's ever been shot while running out of a burning building whitout her beer hat on
4. There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.
3. Beer's not full of shit(@ least most)
2. after to many beers mindless shouting is ignored not mandated 5 times a day
1. Beer's never decapitated an innocent child
did you make that one by just changing jesus to Mohammed or is it actually posted somewhere? jwTop 10 Reasons Why Ber is better than Mohammed(just to be fair)
10. Beer lets you have beer. Mohammed won't
9. Beer's never caused several major wars
8. they don't force beer on minors that can't think for themselves
7. when you have beer you don't go into cafe's and blow themselves up
6. nobody's ever been stoned to death because she refused to wear her beer helmut
5. no one's ever been shot while running out of a burning building whitout her beer hat on
4. There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.
3. Beer's not full of shit(@ least most
2. after to many beers mindless shouting is ignored not mandated 5 times a day
1. Beer's never decapitated an innocent child
Val for President
I changed some of the Jesus 1's and added some of my own Mohammed 1's.
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice that the girl knows just as much about the game as they do, and they're really impressed. After the game they ask her "how is it that you know so much about baseball?"
She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change." The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. "What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your penis?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"Was it when they cut off your balls?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"What was the most painful part?"
"The part that hurt the most was when they... cut my salary in half!"
Val for President
Headline: Robert Kennedy, Sonny Bono split over tree decision.
Val for President
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
SKIPPITTYY-DO-BOP, SKIPPITTY-DEE....SONNY BONO SKIS,HORSES AND HITTIN SOME TREES.....AHH!
emimen, sick yet very my style type bastard!
What doesnt belong on this list, meat, eggs, wife, blowjob?
You can beat your meat, your eggs, and your wife, but you cant beat a blowjob
Val for President
reps if i can
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw the gas bill.
Val for President
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and a 8 year old boy is walking on the other side, and the priest says "Let's fuck that little boy" and the rabbi says "Out of what?"
Val for President
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson while at the beach?
"You're in my son"
Val for President
"DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER
in as in sex
polish people eat anything literally
good shit right there lol
Val for President
O shit my eyes are fucking up cuz I thought she said "you're my son" instead lolz.
"DON'T FLOOD THE CAR PICS SECTION WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
FORMULA D PICS" SQUAD MEMBER
both
Val for President
Two condoms were walking by a gay bar, one says to the other "lets go in and get shit faced!"
Val for President
+1
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
~cough~
~cough~
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha !
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.
What do you call a white guy in the ocean?
A saltine cracker.
Val for President
A Polish guy and an Italian guy were deer hunting in the woods, when all of a sudden a beautiful naked woman appears from behind a tree.
The Italian man licked his lips and exclaimed: "Mama mia, I could eat you all night long"
The Polish guy shot her.
Val for President
What is a woman doing when she is staring at a blank piece of paper?
Reading her rights
Val for President
why aren't there many woman philosophers?
Cause there's no philosophy in the kitchen.
Val for President
There are 5 white guys in a Cadillac. They drive off the Grand Canyon. What is sad about this story?
A Cadillac seats 6.
Val for President
What's the definition of confusion?
Father's Day in Harlem.
Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
Time to cue up the Aristocrats.
02 WRX Sport Wagon
oooooooooohhhhhh..............
lol when did the (If your easily) get added?
10 mins ago, i did it myself, cause someone will get their panties in a wad
Val for President
Good call. I'm just glad this shit has new life; it has such potential.
Who wants dead baby jokes?
Val for President
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby with fork stuck in it.
Later, QD.
FOR MORE INFO, CLICK THE PIC!!!
how many babies does it take to paint a house?
depends how hard you throw them.
what walks in circles and cries?
a baby with its foot nailed to the floor.
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