Okay.
So I'm down in florida visiting my family and my mom wants to go buy me clothes so we jump in her car (I flew here) and go to the mall and as you can expect it's packed. So were easin around the parking lot trying to find a spot and I look over and see this black SUV backing out of a spot so I start driving over to it slowly, this was a VERY tight parking lot. I park get out and my mom starts to get out after finishing her cigarette and older woman, 40's or 50's, pulls up in her lexus with this bitch ass attitude rolls down her window and says, "Merry Christmas! (sarcastic) did you not see me sitting there with my turn signal on?" She was sitting on the main road that circles the mall in bumper to bumper traffic a few cars back when I had pulled in. I reply, "I'm sorry I didn't see you back there and this isn't YOUR spot anyway I just happened to get to it first and it's not like I was gunnin it to it." Which she replys, "No that was MY spot I was sitting there with my turn signal on, your mom didn't raise you with any manners!" This pissed me off one cuz it was about my mom who is the best woman the world has known and two because here is a woman in here 40's or 50's making a scene over a fucking parking spot. She starts to drive off and i say, "your mouth is as nasty as my manners" and then she is gone. the end....right? No. So my mom and I go do our shopping and what not come out to the car to leave and she notices the RR tire is flat, which was a bummer because that tire had a slow leak and I thought it leaked out again. Wrong. Then we notice the RF tire is flat and I looked closer and you could see where the brake dust had been wiped away from her taking the valve stem caps off and letting the air out of the tires. This leads to and even bigger ordeal of JUST TRYING TO FIND AN AIR COMPRESSOR
So we call a tow truck since there is not a better option. Well of course this mother fucker can't speak 20 words of english
south florida ftl, so he comes to the mall and after a good while passes my moms calls the tow service again asking where he is and the dispatch lady can only speak broken english at best but she says he is at the mall, we say no we dont see him. this back anf forth shit goes on for 15 minutes or so and I was like fuck it, I'll find him and start jogging around the mall. I almost finish a lap around it when BINGO I see him sitting in a parking lot standing outside smoking a cigarette. So I get over to him and take him back to the car. Back the car out of this beloved parking spot and line it up to the back of the tow truck. Now the tow truck driver can't get it on the truck because mercedes is too fucking good to put tow hooks on their cars
and he doesn't have the piece that plugs into the front bumper so it can't be towed (good towing company IK
) I finally end up driving the car onto the truck. He DOES NOT secure the car down in any way so it's just riding on the back of the wrecked with only the parking brake holding. The only reason I allowed this is because we only went a 1/4 mile to the first gas station and I filled the tires back up with air, unloaded it and drove back to the condo. All in all this ordeal took 4-5 hours counting the shopping. This next part is 100% true. When we get back my uncle tells me that while we were at the mall a woman was held outside of macy's at gun point and robbed!!! I swear til the day I die I know it was that rug munchin red cunt hair hoity toity lexus driving bitch that was robbed.
I then said O man I need to go bail that man out of jail and buy him a nice steak dinner since he won't get one for awhile. Turns out they didnt catch the robber, so he will live to rib that cunt another day.
hey, dont cut line!
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Originally Posted by Lankhoss
I'll break it up a little next time.
