I feel I need to get this out...

[Echonova]

Well.. I have a huge problem... I am 18 with a 1 year old, and a dead beat baby momma that is old enough for anything(24). She just skipped out on us a couple nights ago. No calls and no answers. So what am I supposed to do? DFCS is giving me custody when legitimation goes through court(I am excited). And I do have a car, job, and housing. But a Baby!? And I say she is a dead beat because she is 24, no job, no steady housing, and another 4 year old she never makes effort to see. All she does is lie, cheat, and drink...

So.. What should I do??

Oprah is busy right now. Come back later.

I work at FedEx loading trucks(by hand), And I am now at my moms, But that child support sounds good.

You mean robots don't unload the truck for you?

But you get money just for having kids?? I want in!!

I already did(this is to J). I wasn't going to make any big decisions until I knew... But i know she's mine...

And I didn't know there was that Obama thing...

Oh looky, chance to get more money!! This kid thing is awesome!!

It all depends on the mood I'm in... Someone once told me "You can be anyone online". I wouldn't act like this in person.. I'm a real calm guy with a lot of morals and respect... I should apologize to myself about the way I portray myself here on IA... It's not really who I am... But I've been through a lot, and I'm trying to forget, and the best way is to see my little girl huge smile... It's funny, When I'm changing her diaper, in the middle of doing so, I stop... and give her a blank, straight face... and she gets the biggest grin and puts her hands on her face and starts laughing...

Awwww... Then you hand her back to your mom and go smoke a cigarette. Good job

That just pissed me off... I fuckin love my child more than you would ever love anybody... I know for a fact that you've never had a son or a daughter before... come back when you get one. No offence...

No offense (learn to spell correctly, I heard it's important when looking for a job), but you have no fucking clue what you are in for. Your whore of a baby momma took off and all you've done is post on IA. Try spending some fucking time with your kid that you love so much. Personally I have grown weary of your life story with just the little nuggets you've posted already.

When my first wife bailed on me... I was 24yrs old, making 65k a year and had all the support I could ask for and it was still hard as hell. Wait 'till you actually have to do some of the hard stuff.

Last thing I have to say... I am taking responsibility for what I've done. I was 16 when I got her pregnant, but I STILL wouldn't change a thing...

Awesome.

[Jaimecbr900]

#1. Children having children needs to stop. It is simple enough to avoid. It's not like you trip and fall into someone's vagina and "oooops, she's pregnant".....it's totally avoidable in several ways. I agree with Paul that far too often people glamorize having children w/o taking into account the child(ren) at all. It's a very selfish act all the way. If you are in a commited relationship and you plan on marrying anyway, well that's one thing.....yet, it's still avoidable. You gotta pay to play, bottomline.

#2. I don't see the same "maturity" some of you see in the OP. See above for the first reason. Second, if you are the Father of a 1 yr old and don't know what to do about your 24 yr old GF......you really need to re-think your position as a father IMO. If you already knew she had other children she didn't take care of.....um, what are you doing having unprotected sex with her? That's a loser to begin with, right? I'm not saying not to get your dipstick wet, hell go for it. Just wrap it up. Harsh, yes. True, yes too.

#3. There are many avenues to pursue. If she already lost custody of one child, more than likely she's not going to be a tough contender if you take her to court. The child support part is only as good as what you can collect, yet it belongs to the CHILD so therefore should be pursued.

[ALVIN]

#1. Children having children needs to stop. It is simple enough to avoid. It's not like you trip and fall into someone's vagina and "oooops, she's pregnant".....it's totally avoidable in several ways. I agree with Paul that far too often people glamorize having children w/o taking into account the child(ren) at all. It's a very selfish act all the way. If you are in a commited relationship and you plan on marrying anyway, well that's one thing.....yet, it's still avoidable. You gotta pay to play, bottomline.

#2. I don't see the same "maturity" some of you see in the OP. See above for the first reason. Second, if you are the Father of a 1 yr old and don't know what to do about your 24 yr old GF......you really need to re-think your position as a father IMO. If you already knew she had other children she didn't take care of.....um, what are you doing having unprotected sex with her? That's a loser to begin with, right? I'm not saying not to get your dipstick wet, hell go for it. Just wrap it up. Harsh, yes. True, yes too.

#3. There are many avenues to pursue. If she already lost custody of one child, more than likely she's not going to be a tough contender if you take her to court. The child support part is only as good as what you can collect, yet it belongs to the CHILD so therefore should be pursued.

110% truth

[CHRISNITTOLO]

...

[B18c1Turboed]

yet it belongs to the CHILD so therefore should be pursued.

Can you please call and talk too my baby mama for me then. Im tired of paying her 720 a month.

[CHRISNITTOLO]

...

[Jaimecbr900]

She had custody in the begining... She decided to fuck up...

What's your point? Is this something that makes YOU better somehow????

Danny: That's what you get for making all that cheese you make.....

[D3UC3S]

Best of luck to ya bud...raising a kid is the most mentally challenging thing i have ever had to do...im only 2 months in. I can't imagine doing this in your situation. our prayers are with you and your daughter.

[quickdodge®]

AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD DFCS GIVE A FUCKING 18 YEAR OLD FULL FUCKING CUSTODY IF THEY DIDN'T THINK THEY COULD DO IT!?!?!,

Because you live at your Mom's house. That's the ONLY reason.

They come out to my house every week to see if she has everything she needs(food, medicine, doctors appt., housing, and health).

I doubt that. I don't doubt that they check on the child, but if you're at your Mom's and they see the house is in good shape, they won't come out every week.

I think I got this. I've been doing this for long enough to KNOW what I can handle.

This comment is total bullshit, man. You have ZERO room to make this comment. Long enough to know what you can handle? Your child is but a year old. You haven't seen shit yet, man. You think you're going through the rough times now and you're handling it and that you "got this?" This is the easy part, homey. Take it from a couple of us (Echonova, Jaime and I) who have had multiple children. You haven't done a thing long enough to know anything.

You have a long ways to go, dude. And it's going to get tougher and tougher each day of the way. Take my word for it. I have a 25 year old, a 17 year old, a 7 year old and a 3 year old. I'VE been doing this long enough to know what's up.

Later, QD.

[CHRISNITTOLO]

*sigh

[87 Turbo II]

All I can day is good luck man. And think for the child's best interest with every decision you make. I'd have no idea what to do in your shoes but I respect that you have to go through it. I don't want to give any advice because I don't know enough about these things, and I also don't want to offend anyone or say something that you don't agree with but make sure your little girl gets the best life anyone can give her. Weather or weather not it be you.

[quickdodge®]

*sigh

Shitty attitude, man, but what can we say.

You got that.

Poor child. Later, QD.

[§treet_§peed]

I doubt that. I don't doubt that they check on the child, but if you're at your Mom's and they see the house is in good shape, they won't come out every week.


Later, QD.

I dunno about that man. This girl I used to be with has a kid now and a dead beat ex-husband. She's 31 now. Anyways, when he walked out on them and she started pursing the road to divorcing him and getting full custody. They were over at her house once a week then eventually once a month. I love that little two year old, and I can't hardly stomach the fact that someone could do this to a little kid. She has her own apartment and they also come out every month for a random inspection to make sure everything is good.

[quickdodge®]

I dunno about that man.

I've been at this stuff for a long time, dude. There could be different situations in these two cases. When my first wife and I split up, DFACS never even came around to check up on anyone. That's because everything was hunky-dory. My current wife is the only female out of six serious relationships I've had that did NOT have children from a previous relationship. I've been exposed to a lot of these situations. I could be wrong, but I don't know. Later, QD.

[§treet_§peed]

I've been at this stuff for a long time, dude. There could be different situations in these two cases. When my first wife and I split up, DFACS never even came around to check up on anyone. That's because everything was hunky-dory. My current wife is the only female out of six serious relationships I've had that did NOT have children from a previous relationship. I've been exposed to a lot of these situations. I could be wrong, but I don't know. Later, QD.

I wasn't saying you are completely wrong. I was just stating that it is very possible.

[quickdodge®]

I wasn't saying you are completely wrong. I was just stating that it is very possible.

Oh of course it is. That's why I didn't say he was straight up BS-ing. Just said doubt it, but I agree.

But this dude seems to have it all under control and knows what's up so I don't see any reason for anyone else to chime in. Later, QD.

[1990wade]

GOOD LUCK MAN........I WISH THE BEST FOR U AND UR LITTLE GIRL

[ahmonrah]

Best of luck to you man, with so many women claiming most men in your situation as dead beats, I applaud you on handling this "oops" moment and taking initiative.

Unless you've already covered the dna section, request it anyway when you go file for support.

But file for support. The courts will handle making sure she will be in line, or face jail time if she doesn't handle her end of making this child.

But, outside of that, handle your biz, learn this lesson and make sure you don't have another "oops" moment.

Use duct tape, saran wrap and employ my method for prevention:

1) When you know climax is near, jump from bed.

2) Run to nearest A/V apparatus.

3) Press the ON button manually.

4) grab a towel and windex.

5) Clean screen of residue.

Trust, the woman will think your nuts, but at least you won't see her in 9mths!!! Lol!

[CHRISNITTOLO]

...

[mn4a15]

Wow Damn i just read the whole fukn tread shitz crazy. Fuck Adoption 4 pussies dont let ur baby suffer that shit. its not the end of the world.c'mon son get it together

[Catnip]

He has custody and he's willing to try.


Be mature and encourage him. It's one thing to make him aware of the adoption route, but it's another thing to discourage him. I'm older than him by very little and I don't know if I could do it. He sounds like he really wants to try and he really loves his daughter... get off his nuts.

Like I said in my PM, good luck and I wish the best for you and your daughter. I hope one day I'll have a little one or two.

[ilovemyhonda.]

fuck er (not in the literal sense) you can only do what you can, just make sure she pays her child support or call the cops on her ass. Youre taking responsibility for your actions, make sure she does the same.

agreed.

[BABY J]

Not a fan of child support. I was 14 when I made my mom stop the court order for mine. I don't want anything for my daughter that her mom doesn't give freely. PERIOD.

The courts weren't there when we made the kid and shouldn't be there afterwards. That's just how I view it.

It's like saying "Hey man, you stepped on my shoe - I think you owe me an apology." If you don't know what you owe on your own, then it's not worth me "asking" for it - I can do w/ out it.

GL

[quickdodge®]

There is no need for child support, I feel no need to do whatever I can to make her life horrible,

Man, for real, dude, you really need to pursue that child support. As much as you THINK you "got this," you need to think about the child before yourself. That child doesn't "got this." I just can't believe that you think you don't need the extra money. You barely make any money so you have to live at the parent's house. Why are you thinking about messing up the Mother's life with asking for child support anyway? You should be thinking about it benefiting your baby. You're going to need it. Contrary to your belief, you don't know shit, man.

Wow Damn i just read the whole fukn tread shitz crazy. Fuck Adoption 4 pussies dont let ur baby suffer that shit. its not the end of the world.c'mon son get it together

You're an idiot, aren't you?

He has custody and he's willing to try.


Be mature and encourage him. It's one thing to make him aware of the adoption route, but it's another thing to discourage him. I'm older than him by very little and I don't know if I could do it. He sounds like he really wants to try and he really loves his daughter... get off his nuts.

And he gets big props for his attempts. No doubt about that.

He needs good words of encouragement, true enough. Words that will help keep his mind positive.........

But his thought processes in this are completely going to tear that baby up. I'm not trying to encourage or discourage him from anything. I'm trying to let him know what real life with a child is really like....and not what he thinks it's like.

His comments about "doing this too long" and "I got this" really showed his lack of understanding and knowledge as to how being a parent really will be. So I'm trying to knock it home on him that he is just looking at the tip of the iceberg when it comes to rearing a child. Later, QD.

[The Creeper]

This goes to show, Kids really shouldn't be having Kids. I mean what's done is done, but fuck, doesn't anyone know what a Condom or birth control is, or pulling out?

[quickdodge®]

This goes to show, Kids really shouldn't be having Kids. I mean what's done is done, but fuck, doesn't anyone know what a Condom or birth control is, or pulling out?

You're true to the core, but bringing this up now is pretty moot, you know? The child is here and you have to do the best you can to ensure it's healthy and safe upbringing. No sense in arguing/pointing out what should have happened, ya know. Later, QD.

[PSINXS]

adoption is being responsible if you can't provide for a baby. i'm almost 30 and i don't even feel like an adult... i can't see how an 18 yr old can provide for a baby. not to say you can't but the odds are against you and for your child. this is why my "children have children" stance is the way it is; judging by your last few comments and the post on here you aren't old enough to care for yourself let alone a baby on your own. i wish your kid the best man.

when you have a child, certain things go out the window and you man up if you have half a brain.

but he has his parents supporting him as well and he's not out on his own. and there is tons of gov't assistance for single parents. Women are no longer the only ppl they care about. they are giving fathers more recognition these days.

I dont have much stuff for 1 yr olds since my son is the same age. sorry. ( i really think you slept with my ex's equally evil twin.)

and yes you need to seek SOLE custody and Child support from her. i have a good attorney if you need one. Custody battles are no fun. the lawyer and judge would have a field day with your case.

[Catnip]

And he gets big props for his attempts. No doubt about that.

He needs good words of encouragement, true enough. Words that will help keep his mind positive.........

But his thought processes in this are completely going to tear that baby up. I'm not trying to encourage or discourage him from anything. I'm trying to let him know what real life with a child is really like....and not what he thinks it's like.

His comments about "doing this too long" and "I got this" really showed his lack of understanding and knowledge as to how being a parent really will be. So I'm trying to knock it home on him that he is just looking at the tip of the iceberg when it comes to rearing a child. Later, QD.

I think we both get what each other is saying now

[ilovemyhonda.]

This is a sucky sitaution and I already told you my views. QD, Jamie and a few others have made great points as well. Just do the best you can and make sure your daughter comes first. Anyone can do it, the real question is do you want to. I don't regret any day of my life just because I am a young mom. I just make sure he is my main priority and that he is always taken care of, and I love him with all my heart. Now I miss him, because I am talking and thinking about him.

[RL...]

hopefully the juice was worth the squeeze..

[ilovemyhonda.]

hopefully the juice was worth the squeeze..

lol that sounded funny.

[mn4a15]

You're an idiot, aren't you?

fuck you Go kill yourself!!!!! i know what i said was rough. but i have two cousin's that are currently going through this... both ladies are 16. they both have dead beat boyfriends that dont do shit. just hang in there buddy you got this.

[quickdodge®]

fuck you Go kill yourself!!!!! i know what said was rough. but i have two cousin's that are currently going through this... both ladies are 16. they both have dead beat boyfriends that dont do shit. just hang in there buddy you got this.

Shut up, man. You have no sensible input in this. Later, QD.

[Catnip]

fuck you Go kill yourself!!!!! i know what said was rough. but i have two cousin's that are currently going through this... both ladies are 16. they both have dead beat boyfriends that dont do shit. just hang in there buddy you got this.

I'm sure QD has at LEAST been around, been in, or seen this, as well.


*EDIT* Got ninja'd

[95alty]

Dont get angry about a comment when you post on here trying to vent... plus you should just take the ASVAB

[PURP]

Well.. I have a huge problem... I am 18 with a 1 year old, and a dead beat baby momma that is old enough for anything(24). She just skipped out on us a couple nights ago. No calls and no answers. So what am I supposed to do? DFCS is giving me custody when legitimation goes through court(I am excited). And I do have a car, job, and housing. But a Baby!? And I say she is a dead beat because she is 24, no job, no steady housing, and another 4 year old she never makes effort to see. All she does is lie, cheat, and drink...

So.. What should I do??

there's only one answer to this question... Get your priorities in line and take care of that baby... nothing else needs to be said... or done...

[StreetHazard]

Im glad abortion is still an option

[ep9716]

Why do people think it's okay to post this on IA?

No one gives two shits really.

[BABY J]

Why do people post in threads that they don't give 2 shits about??

[BABY J]

Also - the fact that people don't "care" about shit like this is fine... bc threads like this aren't asking for people to "care". There are LOTS of intelligent people on here who have more brain-power for thinking that others... sometimes people just need to bounce ideas off of others. No1 forces you to read these threads or comment in them.