And so it was written that in the year of the OhNyne two great warriors of the DM dynasty, one the family J and one the family K (here come the men in black), would meet upon the battlefield known as Isla de Cabeza de Hilton. Prophesy has long foretold of this epic meeting that had, until now, been the subject of stories and myths. The warriors, one smelling of uncooked fish, the other reaking of rotten cabbage, will meet upon the field of battle to defend the honor of their fair lolis. One will fight using the power of his great Vtak, the other, well the other will use his great ummm, his amazing uhhhhh, hey look over there, it's Elvis!! So where were we?? Oh yeah, two powerful warriors, one epic battle. This is the stuff that legends are made of.

One day a movie will be made of this great meeting. The preview will go a little something like this......

*The movie previews voice guy steps in*

On the island, one must fight to survive.
Evil lurks around every turn, at every traffic light.
JM lived a good life turning wrenches on Infiniti's by day.
By night, however, his JDM samurai spirit came alive.
JM was the protector of a greater power.
Not the Force, not even the Schwarz.
JM protected the wonderous and almighty Vtak!!
JM's weapon of choice, a light blue AP1 named Haley.
He defended the honor of lolis everywhere with Haley.
But that was all about to change one dark night.
A mysterious warrior, Tuscani Joe, arrives on the island.
His orange GK gleaming under the amber glow of streetlights.
JM and Haley would soon face a foe unlike no other.
Starring Jet Li as JM and Sung Kang as Tuscani Joe,
the story of this epic tale will be told as never before.
Combined with an all star cast that includes...
Martin Lawrence as Marcus Burnett,
Ryan Reynolds as Dirty Mechanic,
Russell Brand as Ed,
Matt Damon as GKTib®,
Dakota Fanning as Buttons,
Chewbacca as LexiZ31,
Russell Crowe as Collins,
and
Jaleel White as Sammich.
A story full of action, suspense, and drama that will keep you
on the edge of your seat until the climactic ending.
Coming Summer of 2010.....

The Quick and the Pissed Off