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  1. #1
    pǝuuɐq
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    Default F My Life

    Post up your favorite quote(s) from fmylife.com

    Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

    Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

    Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

    Edit: Or if you have one of your own it would be more interesting.

  2. #2
    chicken sangwich 15degvee's Avatar
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    That site is fucking LOL

  3. #3
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    haha i love that second one

  4. #4
    chicken sangwich 15degvee's Avatar
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    Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

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    Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

  6. #6
    chicken sangwich 15degvee's Avatar
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    Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

  7. #7
    pǝuuɐq
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    Quote Originally Posted by 15degvee
    Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML
    I don't get it..?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by FTMFW
    I don't get it..?
    is it talking about her health insurance?

    not car insurance like most would think

  9. #9
    chicken sangwich 15degvee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FTMFW
    I don't get it..?
    She had to essplain to her mum she was doing some IDB and broke out...

  10. #10
    pǝuuɐq
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    Quote Originally Posted by 15degvee
    She had to essplain to her mum she was doing some IDB and broke out...
    "explain"

    Gotchya

  11. #11
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    Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by 90_ACCORD
    Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
    LOLOL nice one.

  13. #13
    Z1 Motorsports FTW!! Dr.G35's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 90_ACCORD
    Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
    lol

  14. #14
    Senior Member G.C's Avatar
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    lol nice.
    :idb:

  15. #15
    pǝuuɐq
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    ..

  16. #16
    Interwebs terrorist Friggintitsman's Avatar
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    I have no lol from this
    I thrive on caffineand HATE


  17. #17
    pǝuuɐq
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    Quote Originally Posted by Friggintitsman
    I have no lol from this
    Fuck yo "lol" nagger

  18. #18
    Kinda lame IRL isa2o3's Avatar
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    today i went to a 2 hour conference of the Aflac company to seek internship. turned out i didnt need to be there. all i had to do is apply online ans read their company policies online. fml

  19. #19
    shakin it down Master Shake's Avatar
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    Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML

  20. #20
    chicken sangwich 15degvee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tran
    Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML
    That + you username and sig pic =

  21. #21
    pǝuuɐq
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    Quote Originally Posted by 15degvee
    That + you username and sig pic =
    LMFAO, damn that's fucked up in so many different ways.


  22. #22
    shakin it down Master Shake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 15degvee
    That + you username and sig pic =
    dude, you're a jew.

  23. #23
    chicken sangwich 15degvee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tran
    dude, you're a jew.
    it was a coincidence

  24. #24
    JDM TYTE AnthonyF's Avatar
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    some of them are funny, but sound very fake.

    -Ant.
    The Carbon Fibered R6

  25. #25
    JDM TYTE AnthonyF's Avatar
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    LOLOL THIS HAS TO BE TRUE for some. lol

    Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

    -Ant.
    The Carbon Fibered R6

  26. #26
    Something Else Kevykev's Avatar
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    Funny ones in there

    Leisa and S. 4 Life NM?

  27. #27
    Senior Member dabuilding's Avatar
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    MOAR!!!

  28. #28
    Zoom Zoom 87 Turbo II's Avatar
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    Today, I walked into my room to find my mom had made my bed and done my laundry, for which I thanked her with a hug. I laid down on the bed, stretched out my arms and realized my vibrator was still under the pillow where I had left it. FML

    Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

    ^^ Yeah, I drew a frame of a man running on each fan blade. That is him running at idle

  29. #29
    ....and my top let back umairejaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 87 Turbo II
    Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

    LOLOL!

    Learning everyday.

  30. #30
    Senior Member | IA Veteran
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    lololol

  31. #31
    IA Member ztastic's Avatar
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    hahahah

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