Post up your favorite quote(s) from fmylife.com

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

Today, my boss asked me to pick up an extra shift. I said I couldn't because I have a date. He told me I didn't need to lie and to just say no next time. FML

Edit: Or if you have one of your own it would be more interesting.