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Thread: Racist(or baby) jokes that go too far. nws and feelings may get hurt

  1. #41
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    One time, there was a black family of four. They heard about this river, and if you swim to the other side of it, you turn white. So the Dad swims across and turns white, then the Mom, then the sister. When the youngest child, the brother starts to swim across, he is taken away by the current. The sister says, "DADDY' DADDY!, BUBBA IS GETTING TAKEN AWAY BY THE CURRENT!" And the Dad said, "Screw that ******."

  2. #42
    Delightfully Creepy Ran's Avatar
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    lulz

  3. #43
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

  4. #44
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    lol i have not heard a lot of these before, they're great
    2010 Scion xB

  5. #45
    sukanigadikosum DieselNuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redrumracer
    One time, there was a black family of four. They heard about this river, and if you swim to the other side of it, you turn white. So the Dad swims across and turns white, then the Mom, then the sister. When the youngest child, the brother starts to swim across, he is taken away by the current. The sister says, "DADDY' DADDY!, BUBBA IS GETTING TAKEN AWAY BY THE CURRENT!" And the Dad said, "Screw that ******."

    Your joke doesnt make any sense because black people cant swim....there's no pools in the ghetto.... so, here's a spin off

    Two black guys are walking down the street and they see a sign in a store that says "we can turn you white for 99 cents". Well Tyrone had a dollar and Jamal had 98 cents. Jamal said, "why dont you go in, turn white and give me the leftover penny so I can turn white too". Tyrone agrees, goes inside and comes out a white man. Jamal freaks out and says "WOW! It really worked! Give me the penny so I can go next" Tyrone looks at Jamal and says "fuk that, get a job n!gger"

  6. #46
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    There is this black kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the black kids. So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. Hey dad look im white! His dad kicks his ass, and says alright go show your mother. Hey mom look im white! His mom beats the **** out of him then says go show your gradma. Hey gradma look im white she beats his ass and sends him to his room. About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says have you learned anything from this? The kid says yeah ive learned i have only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 *******.

  7. #47
    hustler ksniperfox's Avatar
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    how do you get 10 mexicans(equivalent of 2 cactusEGs) into a barrel?







    tell them it floats

  8. #48
    hustler ksniperfox's Avatar
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    whats the best way to get a baby out of a blender?


    tortilla chips

  9. #49
    Delightfully Creepy Ran's Avatar
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    What do you call 4 White guys pushing a car?

    White Power

    What do you call 4 Asian guys pushing a car?

    Yellow Power

    What do you call 4 Black guys pushing a car?

    Grand Theft Auto

  10. #50
    Who is John Galt? Echonova's Avatar
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    A CHINESE GUY TURNS TO HIS WIFE IN BED AND SAYS “I WANT A SIXTY- NINE”…

    SHE SAYS… “WHY YOU WANT BEEF AND BROCCOLI NOW ?

  11. #51
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    what do you call a ship full of blacks going back to africa?






    a good start.

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by T34me
    oh man......ill play
    Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza?



    They take the pizza out of the oven
    No.

    It suppose to go:

    What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

    Pizzas don't scream when you throw them in the oven.

  13. #53
    Official Gator Hater Lucky DAWG's Avatar
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    I'll get 3 different races all in one post




    1) What's faster then the speed of light?


    A Jew with a coupon




    2) Why do the mexicans suck at the olympics?



    All the ones that can run, jump, and swim are over here
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  14. #54
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    What do you do if you see a group of 5 black men raping a woman?



    Throw them a basketball.

  15. #55
    sukanigadikosum DieselNuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Echonova
    A CHINESE GUY TURNS TO HIS WIFE IN BED AND SAYS “I WANT A SIXTY- NINE”…

    SHE SAYS… “WHY YOU WANT BEEF AND BROCCOLI NOW ?
    dont you mean "Broccori"?

  16. #56
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    why do jews have huge noses?

    because air is free


    What happens when a jew has an erection and walks into a wall?


    he breaks his nose.

  17. #57
    Official Gator Hater Lucky DAWG's Avatar
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    This one is bad... not racist before someone freaks out on me, but this is the nature of the thread...



    A bunch of good ol' boys are down in South Georgia and someone tells them that its open huntin season for N******, so they all grab their shotguns and go out to hunt. They find a field of black people picking watermelons. They kill about 15 of them and then go out and have a picnic.


    As they are sitting there enjoying their meals, Sheriff Smith drives up and says "boys what yall doin out here"

    The boys replied "Well we heard it was open huntin season for N***** so we just been out here shooting a few of them, had some pretty good luck so far"

    Sheriff replies, "Well jesus i can see that, I'm gonna have to arrest all 3 of you though, this is horrible"

    The Boys reply, "Well what in god's name is wrong, its open hunting season for N****** is it not?"


    Sherrif replies, "Well yea it is, but don't you know its illegal to hunt on baited fields?"
    2005 Ford F-150 FX4 Supercrew


  18. #58
    Official Gator Hater Lucky DAWG's Avatar
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    Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Whos driving?



    Neither, the cop.







    Whats wrong with 7 mexicans going over a cliff in a van?



    Coulda fit 30
    2005 Ford F-150 FX4 Supercrew


  19. #59
    sukanigadikosum DieselNuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky DAWG
    This one is bad... not racist before someone freaks out on me, but this is the nature of the thread...



    A bunch of good ol' boys are down in South Georgia and someone tells them that its open huntin season for N******, so they all grab their shotguns and go out to hunt. They find a field of black people picking watermelons. They kill about 15 of them and then go out and have a picnic.


    As they are sitting there enjoying their meals, Sheriff Smith drives up and says "boys what yall doin out here"

    The boys replied "Well we heard it was open huntin season for N***** so we just been out here shooting a few of them, had some pretty good luck so far"

    Sheriff replies, "Well jesus i can see that, I'm gonna have to arrest all 3 of you though, this is horrible"

    The Boys reply, "Well what in god's name is wrong, its open hunting season for N****** is it not?"


    Sherrif replies, "Well yea it is, but don't you know its illegal to hunt on baited fields?"

    REPS!

  20. #60
    Official Gator Hater Lucky DAWG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DieselNuts

    REPS!




    learned that one from a 80 yr old vietnam veteran named "Sarge". He works at my buddy's construction site and calls black people "Democrats".



    He is probably the biggest ******* / funniest man alive
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  21. #61
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    Wat did the bartender say to the horse ?



    Why the long face..
    2004 Audi A4

  22. #62
    Official Gator Hater Lucky DAWG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GuessWho
    Wat did the bartender say to the horse ?



    Why the long face..


    2005 Ford F-150 FX4 Supercrew


  23. #63
    AP2 FTW Zeeb's Avatar
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    I have a black person on my family tree















    and he's still hanging there...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arsenal75
    Topdown for miles make vertical smiles.

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    So the other day I'm out with a few dead babies on the grill and my neighbor walks up to me. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Well, you see, I'm grilling dead babies!" I reply as I lift the smoker to show her. "That's terrible!!!" she screams. I just shake my head and calmly tell her "Not with the right kind of chips it isn't."




    so a black guy and 2 white guys are on a boat. A stormcasts them out of their path and onto an island of a crazed cannibal tribe. The 3 men are taken into the prosoner's holding area. 2 days later, the tribe leader comes to visit them. To their astonishment, he knows English. He tells the men "You have survived 2 moons here with no food and water, we respect your will to survive. So we have agreed to give you a test to see if you shall live. The first part of the test, is to go into the jungle and bring back any 3 fruits you wish."The men are released and one of the white men returns holding 3 oranges. "Ok good!" The tribesman said." Now you must take all 3 fruits, and shove them up your ass without making a single sounds. The moment we hear a noise, we will kill you instantly. The mans eyes open really wide in shock, but he tries it anyway. He tries soo hard for a good 30 minutes but finally just screams and they kill him. The 2nd white man comes back with just 3 grapes. "Good, now shove these up your ass without making a noise!" they tell him in the same routine. He gets 2 up in there, but just bursts into laughter so they kill him. As his soul is sent to heaven, he meets the other white guy. The first white guy says to him "Why the hell did you laugh? You only had one little grape to go!" The other white guy smiles at him and says "Well I just couldn't help myself, I saw the black dude coming out of the jungle holding 3 watermelons."

    ^^ Yeah, I drew a frame of a man running on each fan blade. That is him running at idle

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    Quote Originally Posted by 87 Turbo II
    So the other day I'm out with a few dead babies on the grill and my neighbor walks up to me. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Well, you see, I'm grilling dead babies!" I reply as I lift the smoker to show her. "That's terrible!!!" she screams. I just shake my head and calmly tell her "Not with the right kind of chips it isn't."




    so a black guy and 2 white guys are on a boat. A stormcasts them out of their path and onto an island of a crazed cannibal tribe. The 3 men are taken into the prosoner's holding area. 2 days later, the tribe leader comes to visit them. To their astonishment, he knows English. He tells the men "You have survived 2 moons here with no food and water, we respect your will to survive. So we have agreed to give you a test to see if you shall live. The first part of the test, is to go into the jungle and bring back any 3 fruits you wish."The men are released and one of the white men returns holding 3 oranges. "Ok good!" The tribesman said." Now you must take all 3 fruits, and shove them up your ass without making a single sounds. The moment we hear a noise, we will kill you instantly. The mans eyes open really wide in shock, but he tries it anyway. He tries soo hard for a good 30 minutes but finally just screams and they kill him. The 2nd white man comes back with just 3 grapes. "Good, now shove these up your ass without making a noise!" they tell him in the same routine. He gets 2 up in there, but just bursts into laughter so they kill him. As his soul is sent to heaven, he meets the other white guy. The first white guy says to him "Why the hell did you laugh? You only had one little grape to go!" The other white guy smiles at him and says "Well I just couldn't help myself, I saw the black dude coming out of the jungle holding 3 watermelons."

    Now thats funny

  26. #66
    dteng Homer Simpson's Avatar
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    there's 5 mexicans in a van driving off a cliff, whats wrong with this picture?























    there needs to be 9 more mexicans in the van

  27. #67
    Senior Member DUBSf22c's Avatar
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    What do you call 1000 mexicans jumping out of a plane?


    AIR POLLUTION


    What do you call 1000 Blacks jumping out of a plane?


    A goods start



    Why do blonde women wear floral underwear?


    To remember all the men that were buried there

  28. #68
    Senior Member DUBSf22c's Avatar
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    What cant you give a black person?

    a job, a fat lip or a black eye.


    Greek guy goes to a Chinese restaurant and sit down to order.
    The server asks the man what he would like.
    The Greek man replies " I would like Mongolian Beef and flied lice"
    This pisses the Chinese server off and he replies promptly with "Its fried rice you Gleek Plick"





    I swear im not racist. Im an equal opportunity multi-cultural *******.

  29. #69
    The Philanthropist Dirty Octopus™'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redrumracer
    a guy walked into a bar and said ouch.
    i laughed at this but i dont think i got it.

    it just sounded silly

  30. #70
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    Hitlers greatest invention was not the peoples car.. it was the easy bake oven.
    Only two men ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. Defend your rights or lose them forever.

  31. #71
    resident honda hater redrumracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirty Octopus™
    i laughed at this but i dont think i got it.

    it just sounded silly
    sent pm explaining it.

  32. #72
    IA BK OWNER #2 BKgen®'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slovic-fcc
    what is the first English words spoken by every Mexican?






    hot plate.
    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


  33. #73
    look here, bish Stormhammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dubs04sti


    Greek guy goes to a Chinese restaurant and sit down to order.
    The server asks the man what he would like.
    The Greek man replies " I would like Mongolian Beef and flied lice"
    This pisses the Chinese server off and he replies promptly with "Its fried rice you Gleek Plick"


    total ripoff from lethal weapon 4


    ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿

  34. #74
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    why were the jews wondering in the desert for fourty years?

    someone dropped a dime

    what do you call 1000 blacks jumping out of a plane?

    nightfall

    what do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    a good start

    what's pink,bubbly,and taps on glass?

    a baby in a microwave

    there was a mexican,arab,and american in a bar down in atlanta drinking.the mexican orders a drink,slams it down,throws the glass into the air,pulls out a gun,and shoots it to ****.they look at him and asked him why he did that.he said,"in mexico,we make so many of these that you only need to drink out of it once".the arab orders a beer,slams it down,throws it in the air,pulls out a gun,and blows it away.they all looked puzzled and ask him why he did that.he says,"where i come from,we are surrounded by sand and can make as many of those things as we need to so you only need to drink out of a glass one time.the american orders a drink and goes throught the same routine and tosses the glass in the air.he pulls out his gun and shoots the mexican and arab.the bartender is astonished and ask why the **** he did that.the american says that in america there are so many of them that you only need to drink with them one time.

  35. #75
    beatin' up emos 24/7
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    A guy walks into a bar and see's Hitler sitting talking to the bartender. He walks up and asks Hitler why he is there. "I'm back to kill all the Jews and 7 clowns" Hitler says. The man asks "Why do you have to kill 7 clowns?" Hitler turns to the bartender and says "Told you no one cared about the Jews"


    What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?

    With a crucifixion they throw away the whole Jew.

  36. #76
    ASC is for fools Blitanicle99's Avatar
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    Why do police dogs lick each others assholes?





    To get the taste of N1GGer out of their mouth.

    -Yep. That one I have credit for.
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  37. #77
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    whats the difference between a N!gger and a tire?















    The tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it.

  38. #78
    ASAP's Ginger Kid
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    What do you call a quadraplegic ******?




    Trustworthy


    RIP Mom
    RIP Papa

  39. #79
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    What do you do if you see a ****** missing an arm and a leg?




    Quit laughing and reload.


    RIP Mom
    RIP Papa

  40. #80
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    i am in no way racist but i like this joke alot :

    A mexican walks into a bar and says, "Hey, ******, give me a drink." The ****** bartender says, "I'll give you a drink, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a "******." "Oh man!, I am sure sorry about that bro'. Won't happen again." A few minutes later the mexican says, "Hey moon crickett, another round." The ****** says,"Hey, look, I really don't want you calling me "moon crickett" either." The mexican says,"Sorry bootlips, I didn't mean anything by it." The bartender says, "OK that's it! How would you like it if you were the bartender and I came in here calling you names?" "I don't know, let's find out." So the mexican puts on an apron and goes behind the bar and the ****** walks outside and comes back in and shouts, "Hey wetback! I want a ****ing drink!" The "bartender" stops washing glasses and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve ******* in here."

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