another exciting edition of: Pure JDM theatre! w00t
so here i was bored out of my mind ~insert boredom here~ and i was like man i wish there was something that i could do that would add some zesty spicy fun to my life. then all of a sudden
HOLY CRAP FED EX CESSNA ATTACK!
after being dive bombed for a few moments as this pint sized package delivery system assaulted my JDM levels in an angry aerial manner, i dove under a near by titan for cover... as soon as i took cover he pulled a 8 G negative inverted dive climb manuever and air dropped a package via parachute
well imagine my surprise when i saw that this package had arms and legs i was like WT?F?!! maybe the pilot was coming to finish me off... it got a little closer... i thought i heard something and then outta no where
oh chit de fires de missles!!!!! run JM run!
oh noes i fail! but luckily the missile missed me but oh no the danger was not over about 20 feet away from me stood the most terrifying thing ever...
RAMBO CHOPS
SWEET MOTHER OF PBS'S LOVE CHILD I'M TEH SCREWED! BUT WAIT! I HAVE THESE!
thank god for my WAHL shears! i'll be safe!
and with the flick of a switch chops mc missle pods knew he was done with.. i chased him through the thicket and over the bushes but he was no match for my speed after i chugged one of these!
i cut a little hole out of the side to purge the tank before i super inhaled my 200 shot through direct port injection!
MAGICALLY i turned into sonic the hedgehog and chased down the sheep with great speed SUPER SHOES GOOOOOOOOOO~
MOAR! SHEAR SHEEP SHEAR! he baa'd in anger growling
as well all know sheep do when anger'd but alas he knew he had been caught!
and i hung him in shame for all those who witnessed the attack to know not to mess with me cause i have sheep shears on me @ all times...
anywho as i used his wool to make a victory sweater for PBS's loli fan's
as i rummaged my way with whatever it is that people use to make wool sweaters with i noticed something near the bottom...
sigh figures F***'n sheep always listening to irish music, i bet he was drunk too... typical irish sheep!
but i decided to keep searching also among the wool i found these following things
brady stribling
a small flock of puffins no doubt captured during the canadian invasion of 96
and
rota slipstreams WTF?!?! its not bad enough he's a sheep, but he's a frickin irish folk song listening DRUNK who ROCKS ROTAS!!!!! i had to kick him for that
but wiat??! what was this???
zim zim zalabim! and the package magically opened itself nothing in it... "wierd" hmm... something is written on the label though...
look....
behind.....
you....
....
...
..
..
..
.....
jdm sucks....
OK WTGG?!?!?
GLSAD":FLA
SD
ASD:
ASD i quickly turned around only to be greeted by a naked sheep with a leash held by none of that...
BRETT FAVRE WTF?!?!?!
bam tranquilizer dart to the neck
ouch.
when i woke up my head was feeling about 10 times too big and my hands were tied... i looked around as my eyes tried to focus on the dark smelly place that i was in... OH NO! PLEASE NOT THE>>>. it was true.. NIKKI HILTONS BED ROOM!
oh noes please noes for gods sake get paris or something
but no the retarded, anorexic (sp?) and overly caked on makeup zombie was closing in one me...
i struggled against the chains! come on come on please break just break i don't wanna make whoopi with that thing! OMG NO! just then...
BOOM! well more like the creeking of a door, and SURPRISE... wait... what is that?... did someone just let a frickin sheep back into my story... wait... OH GOD WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOAR MOAR MOAR OLSEN ATTACK!
i knew my fate was to be certain eaten and torn to bit by the two super wealthy zombies of america! i cringed @ the thought but wait, why was the olsen reaching for a pair of keys?>!?! had she come to save me??! she had! GO MARY KATE GO...where i come up with this stuff?
i ran outside and was instantly blinded by the super crazy sun shine! but i somehow imaged these really cool sunglasses on my face somehow
but i guess by making that wish i became a latin guy with no hair and a goatee....
so i wandered for what seemed to be months in this waste land.... aka alabama... people stopped to ask if i needed a ride by quite honestly i'd rather walk then take rides from anyone wearing overalls and driving a car with nascar on the side of it blasting dueling banjo music... i had thus far kept my anus in non raped fashion so i would politely passed on that..
but i heard this low rumble coming from behind me i prayed it wasn't those guys from deliverence... *silently insert prayers here*
but it wasn't YAY! it was....
it was amy san and georgie back from the AGE of consent tour!and LOLI's yay! best rescue ever! and then they drove me back to hilton head to go back to work mind you all these events actually did happen in less and 1 hours time when i started this... and i even had time to write it all down...
so um.... yeah hope you enjoyed but honestly... the whole reason in this story was to say that i just got my new nissan FAST systems CD and it has parts available for the new R35 GTR
Cliffs:
READ IT, ITS A JM STORY ITS ALWAYS ENTERTAINING
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Originally Posted by PURE jdm
thank you ma'am! 
read it f00! you gots a shout out in it lol
