> > A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
> > confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum
> > cleaner."
> >
> > Good morning, "said the young man."If I could take a couple of minutes of
> > your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered
> > vacuum cleaners."
> >
> > "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money! I am flat broke" and she
> > proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his
> > foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!" he said.
> > "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he
> > emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum
> > cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet,
> > Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
> >
> > The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good
> > appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning




An old Italian man lived alone in the country.
He wanted to dig his tomato garden,
but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in
prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his
predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be
able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot.
If you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden.
That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning,
FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his
son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie