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Thread: funny sh it, and im bored!

  1. 10-25-2007, 04:08 AM #1
    xLSTONEx
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    Default funny sh it, and im bored!

    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane,
    but only a high school diploma to fix one .
    Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
    sheet,'
    which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
    correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
    pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots
    (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
    maintenance engineers.

    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
    accident

    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Something loose in cockpit

    S: Something tightened in cockpit
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.

    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    descent

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

    S: Evidence removed.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

    S: That's what friction locks are for.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.

    S: Suspect you're right.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Number 3 engine missing.

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Target radar hums.

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    P: Mouse in cockpit.

    S: Cat installed.
    __________________________________________________ ____________________
    ___________________
    And the best one for last.................
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
    midget pounding on something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget




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  2. 10-25-2007, 04:14 AM #2
    Dracc
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    OMG... WTF lol
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  3. 10-25-2007, 04:16 AM #3
    .blank cd
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    Default

    I needed that laugh

    NIKON Squad member 01

    I HAVE SUBS AND CAMERAS AND LENSES FO SALE
    OF*C
    OEMFitment Crew Memeber 01
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  4. 10-25-2007, 04:44 AM #4
    Crazy Asian
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    Default

    thats old im sorry.
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  5. 10-25-2007, 08:28 AM #5
    fucksohc
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    ROFL... reps
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  6. 10-25-2007, 09:06 AM #6
    Mr. Clean
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    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.


    i want to be a flight mechanic now
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  7. 10-25-2007, 10:34 AM #7
    Barefoot
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    lol
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  8. 10-25-2007, 10:47 AM #8
    Ran
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    lulz
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  9. 10-25-2007, 11:00 AM #9
    dartingd
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    repped...nice
    PSN SN= dartingd
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  10. 10-25-2007, 11:05 AM #10
    EM1toEVO
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    Default

    Repped. That was some funny sh!t.
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  11. 10-25-2007, 11:06 AM #11
    Leadfoot_mf
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    good find jackass
    -IA MGMT is inappropriate.

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  12. 10-25-2007, 11:09 AM #12
    TheGodfather
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    YOUR **** IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
    Can we not IP ban this ****** by now?
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  13. 10-25-2007, 01:20 PM #13
    JDMjoe
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    LOL made me laugh
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  14. 10-25-2007, 01:23 PM #14
    The Ninja
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    ****! I got a class at 1....**** ****!!!!
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  15. 10-25-2007, 01:29 PM #15
    TheChosenOne
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    it humored me...
    Trend settin'
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  16. 10-25-2007, 01:35 PM #16
    On_Her_Face
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    that was funny i must say.
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  17. 10-25-2007, 02:16 PM #17
    VooDooXII
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    Quote Originally Posted by xLSTONEx
    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane,
    but only a high school diploma to fix one .
    Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
    This is true?


    Hahahahaha, that **** was GREAT!
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