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Thread: The FUCKED UP joke thread

  1. 06-19-2007, 10:47 AM #1
    Hulud
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    Default The FUCKED UP joke thread

    lets see some of your most FUCKED up jokes
    ***Disclaimer*** no race jokes

    heres a good starting point

    whats the difference between a dead baby and a girlfriend?


    i dont kiss my girlfriend after sex
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  2. 06-19-2007, 11:00 AM #2
    Kelly
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    Awful...
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  3. 06-19-2007, 11:02 AM #3
    2.0civic
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    hahaha NOICE.
    FUCK B&D COMMUNICATIONS!

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  4. 06-19-2007, 11:02 AM #4
    william_jeff
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    i don't get it
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  5. 06-19-2007, 11:08 AM #5
    ShooterMcGavin
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    dammit hulud, quit reposting ur dead baby jokes
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  6. 06-19-2007, 11:09 AM #6
    ShooterMcGavin
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    what's the difference between a dyke and a rhino?


    about 50 lbs and a flannel shirt...
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  7. 06-19-2007, 11:10 AM #7
    DieselNuts
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    Quote Originally Posted by shagwAg3n
    what's the difference between a dyke and a rhino?


    about 50 lbs and a flannel shirt...
    hahahahahaha!!!!!!
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  8. 06-19-2007, 11:16 AM #8
    Spectic Tank
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    Q. What sound does a baby in a blender make?


    A. I dont know, I was too busy jerking off
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  9. 06-19-2007, 11:20 AM #9
    ShooterMcGavin
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    well since half of these are reposts anyway......

    what's the difference btw a ferrari and 20,000 dead babies?


    i don't have a ferrari in my garage...
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  10. 06-19-2007, 11:21 AM #10
    nreggie454
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    I know a couple (and I don't tell them often):


    What is the difference between a live baby and an apple?
    Apples don't scream when I peel them.



    What is the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
    I don't fuck apples before I eat them.


    What is the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds?
    There's 20 of them.

    What's better than having sex with an 8 year old?
    Pulling her hair back to make her look like she's 6.

    What's better than having sex with a 6 year old?
    NOTHING!


    How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box?
    A blender.

    How do you get them out?
    Tostitos!

    (This is much better in person) This guy goes to a bar and picks up a girl. They go back to his place and start to fool around. As they are fooling around, the girl starts talking to him:
    "Put your hand in my cha cha"
    He did.
    "Now put your other hand in my cha cha"
    he did.
    "Now clap."
    "I can't"
    "Pretty tight huh?"



    This guy and girl were messing around in his car. They were gonna get superdirtynasty, but she was on the rag, like a bitch. So, since the guy doesn't wanna get blood on his pee pee, he decides to finger her. He does this for a little bit until a cop comes by. Luckily for them, his windows were tinted and a little foggy, so the cop couldn't see what they were doing. The dude rolls down the window and talks to the cop:
    Cop: "What are you two doing here at this time of night?"
    Guy: *licks fingers* "Oh officer, we were just eating pizza!"
    Last edited by nreggie454; 06-19-2007 at 11:32 AM.
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  11. 06-19-2007, 11:23 AM #11
    Bballjamal
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    Quote Originally Posted by shagwAg3n
    what's the difference between a dyke and a rhino?


    about 50 lbs and a flannel shirt...

    +1 if I can!
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  12. 06-19-2007, 01:00 PM #12
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    LMFAO BEST THREAD EVER LOLOLOL reps to whoever i can.
    BUY MY NEW BOOK! ITS CALLED, IF YOU LIKE IMPORTANTLANTA THERE'S A STRONG CHANCE YOU'RE A FAGGOT
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  13. 06-19-2007, 01:07 PM #13
    DieselNuts
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    Quote Originally Posted by nreggie454
    This guy goes to a bar and picks up a girl. They go back to his place and start to fool around. As they are fooling around, the girl starts talking to him:
    "Put your hand in my cha cha"
    He did.
    "Now put your other hand in my cha cha"
    he did.
    "Now clap."
    "I can't"
    "Pretty tight huh?"
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  14. 06-19-2007, 01:11 PM #14
    Kyle
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    How do you make a dead baby float?


    Take your foot of its head.
    ***Lotus Elise***

    BlackWatchRacing    /Sector111/Larini Exhausts/Difflow Diffusers/Classic Livery of Atlanta Paint/APR Performance

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  15. 06-19-2007, 01:35 PM #15
    ShooterMcGavin
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    What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
    When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
    Last edited by ShooterMcGavin; 06-19-2007 at 01:52 PM.
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  16. 06-19-2007, 01:42 PM #16
    Hulud
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    Quote Originally Posted by nreggie454
    What is the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
    I don't fuck apples before I eat them.
    if you're gonna tell a joke, tell it correctly

    its:
    What is the difference between a dead baby and an apple?

    I dont cum on my apple before eating it
    Val for President

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  17. 06-19-2007, 01:44 PM #17
    Kelly
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    Quote Originally Posted by shagwAg3n
    What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
    When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
    *boo!!!*

    Repost. Please refer to post #10
    Last edited by ShooterMcGavin; 06-19-2007 at 01:52 PM.
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  18. 06-19-2007, 01:50 PM #18
    Hulud
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    Whats better than skull fucking a six year old chinese boy in the shower?



    ... Slicking his hair back so he looks like a 3 year old chinese boy!
    Val for President

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  19. 06-19-2007, 01:52 PM #19
    Hulud
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    ...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails -joke1-jpg  
    Val for President

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  20. 06-19-2007, 01:52 PM #20
    Hulud
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    Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry.
    Val for President

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  21. 06-19-2007, 01:52 PM #21
    Hulud
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    Why wasn't JFK a good boxer?

    He couldn't take a shot to the head
    Val for President

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  22. 06-19-2007, 01:53 PM #22
    ShooterMcGavin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly
    *boo!!!*

    Repost. Please refer to post #10
    wtf are u talkin about?
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  23. 06-19-2007, 01:55 PM #23
    ShooterMcGavin
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    what do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?

    Fucked...

    how do you stop a baby crawling round in circles?

    nail its other hand to the floor...
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  24. 06-19-2007, 01:55 PM #24
    DieselNuts
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    Hulud just seperated all his jokes into different posts....I smell a post whore...
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  25. 06-19-2007, 01:55 PM #25
    Kelly
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    Wayne! EFFING READ!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by nreggie454
    I know a couple (and I don't tell them often):


    What is the difference between a live baby and an apple?
    Apples don't scream when I peel them.



    What is the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
    I don't fuck apples before I eat them.


    What is the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds?
    There's 20 of them.

    What's better than having sex with an 8 year old?
    Pulling her hair back to make her look like she's 6.

    What's better than having sex with a 6 year old?
    NOTHING!


    How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box?
    A blender.

    How do you get them out?
    Tostitos!

    (This is much better in person) This guy goes to a bar and picks up a girl. They go back to his place and start to fool around. As they are fooling around, the girl starts talking to him:
    "Put your hand in my cha cha"
    He did.
    "Now put your other hand in my cha cha"
    he did.
    "Now clap."
    "I can't"
    "Pretty tight huh?"



    This guy and girl were messing around in his car. They were gonna get superdirtynasty, but she was on the rag, like a bitch. So, since the guy doesn't wanna get blood on his pee pee, he decides to finger her. He does this for a little bit until a cop comes by. Luckily for them, his windows were tinted and a little foggy, so the cop couldn't see what they were doing. The dude rolls down the window and talks to the cop:
    Cop: "What are you two doing here at this time of night?"
    Guy: *licks fingers* "Oh officer, we were just eating pizza!"
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  26. 06-19-2007, 01:55 PM #26
    ShooterMcGavin
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    Quote Originally Posted by DieselNuts
    Hulud just seperated all his jokes into different posts....I smell a post whore...
    he didn't get almost 24k posts by condensing them into singular posts
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  27. 06-19-2007, 01:57 PM #27
    ShooterMcGavin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly
    Wayne! EFFING READ!!!
    no kelly, YOU effing read post #17
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  28. 06-19-2007, 01:57 PM #28
    Hulud
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    Quote Originally Posted by DieselNuts
    Hulud just seperated all his jokes into different posts....I smell a post whore...
    it all looked like one joke together
    Val for President

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  29. 06-19-2007, 01:58 PM #29
    Hulud
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    Quote Originally Posted by shagwAg3n
    he didn't get almost 24k posts by condensing them into singular posts
    noobs lol
    Val for President

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  30. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hulud
    noobs lol
    i know right
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  31. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #31
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    they
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  32. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #32
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    must
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  33. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #33
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    be
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  34. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #34
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    jealous
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  35. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #35
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    having
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  36. 06-19-2007, 01:59 PM #36
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  37. 06-19-2007, 02:00 PM #37
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  38. 06-19-2007, 02:00 PM #38
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  39. 06-19-2007, 02:00 PM #39
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  40. 06-19-2007, 02:01 PM #40
    Kelly
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    Quote Originally Posted by shagwAg3n
    no kelly, YOU effing read post #17
    Cheater
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