It's not isolationism..... i dont avoid anyone or any activity. I just chose to be more aware of dangers. I'm OCD about being aware of my surroundings. It's not something you would notice or something i bring to anyone's attention in public. I can be sitting at a bar drinking and laughing and i just subconsciously make a note of where exits are, if someone has their hands in their pockets or is reaching for something, if someone is eyeballing someone... just any little thing like that i observe and think about. I do it every day at every place i go.
Lets say i'm jogging at the park and 5 black guys are walking in my path towards me. in my mind i start scanning the scenario, are they wearing sportswear? do they look like they belong in the area, is anyone of them paying too much attention to me, do they look like they have anything in their pockets, anyone reaching in their pockets, are they talking to each other, do they look like theyre going to speak to me... ect ect....
My reaction to that situation might be as simple as moving to the side of the path or saying something to them before theyre close to me like "hey guys, hows it goin" then based on their response i might re-evaluate again. Did they notice me moving to the side of the path, if so did they adjust their path, when i spoke out did they react in an unusual way....
This is just how my mind works. I cant turn it off. I dont isolate myself from any group of people or activity. I go to inner city parks and play basketball, go to the riverwalk, camp grounds or anywhere else i want to go.... i'm just always "aware" of what's around me. Some things get my attention more than others.
One of these people alarms me more than the other. If that's wrong, i dont want to be right.
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