Chuck Norris turns 70 today. Rumor has it he bought himself a Nissan GT-R for his bir
hope its not a repost
well some of my favorite
-Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal to a GT-R.
-A tsunami that hit the Oregon Coast reportedly caused by an earthquake in Japan was actually the result of early engine dyno runs by the GT-R.
-If you tattoo GT-R on your chest you will instantly become a superhero with the ability to take down Batman, Superman, Spiderman and the Hulk all together in a cage fight.
-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to the GT-R idling at rest.
-In honor of GT-R, all McDonald’s in Japan have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be GT-R-sized.
-When taking the SAT, write “GT-R” for every answer. You will get a perfect score.
-Driving a GT-R Walter Rohrl completed TWO full laps of the Nurburgring in 7.48. He can no longer bring himself to drive a Porsche and will demo the GT-R’s air conditioning at Nissan press launches.
-The GT-R has no tachometer. Its engine speed is measured on the Richter Scale.
-The GT-R doesn’t need or want a HEMI.
-The GT-R can touch MC Hammer. In fact the GT-R ran his ass over.
-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears GT-R pajamas.
-When the GT-R launches. It isn’t moving forward, it’s pushing the Earth back.
-Diamonds can be created by driving the GT-R over lumps of coal.
-The GT-R has no windshield wipers. The GT-R is too fast for rain to touch it.
-Used oil from the GT-R isn’t recycled. It’s used as the major ingredient in energy drinks.
-Upon hearing that a GT-R will run Le Mans next year, Audi pulled out.
-Gran Turismo 5 will only have one car—the GT-R. Everything else is now redundant.
-The speed of light is equal to the GT-R’s top speed…in first gear.
-Running the GT-R’s A/C with the windows down will reverse global warming. On max it will cause the next Ice Age.
-In Jurassic Park, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. A GT-R was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
-Rules of fighting: 1) Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Rules of racing: 1) Don’t bring a Veyron to race a GT-R
-For the GT-R, every street is “one way”. Whichever way the GT-R is going.
-A GT-R running the Angeles Crest registered a 9.0 on the Richter scale at Cal Tech
-A GT-R once raced another GT-R. The GT-R was undefeated.
-GT-R is not only a noun, but a verb.
-The Death Star was an after-work project for the GT-R engineers.
-In the Bugatti Veyron top speed run episode of Top Gear, the GT-R was used as a camera car. Only one GT-R was needed to get both forward and rear shots of the Veyron at top speed.
-When Bernie Ecclestone suggested that the GT-R be allowed to run in F1 all the other teams protested. Except Ferrari, they are already using a disguised GT-R.
-Increased melting of the ice packs was caused by the GT-R cold weather testing in the Arctic Circle.
-The GT-R caused Carrol Shelby’s heart problems.
-The GT-R gives Calvin stage-fright.
-The Earth’s rotation is the result of the GT-R using the planet as a chassis dyno. Leap year is a miss-shift.
-The GT-R is a flex fuel vehicle. It makes 480hp on tap water. On pump gas it makes 20,000 WHP.
-Ferrari GAVE their development documents to Maclaren after they obtained top secret design plans for the GT-R.
-The GT-R is the only thing on the planet that’s faster than a Chuck Norris round house kick.
-Every time a man sits in the driver’s seat of the GT-R his gonads double in size. If a woman sits in the driver’s seat of the GT-R she will instantly get pregnant.
-Aurora Borealis is caused by the GT-R’s headlights.
-Mastering the GT-R at its limit is the final test for Jedi trainees.
-The GT-R’s daily diet consists of: Enzos for breakfast, Murcielagos for lunch, and Carrera GTs for dinner. The Veyron is usually a mid-afternoon snack.
-All Captains of Starfleet must first demonstrate their capability by driving a GT-R at Warp 5—attainable in third gear.
-Han Solo attempted to use his Millennium Falcon as a trade in for a GT-R. It shaved two bucks off the sticker price.
-If Hulk Hogan asks you “What’cha gonna do?!” point at the GT-R and he will back off.
-The GT-R’s father is Chuck Norris. Its mother is an F-22 Raptor.
-Floyd Landis is innocent of doping. His raised testosterone levels were the result of looking at pictures of the GT-R between stages.
-The command screen on the GT-R contains Gran Turismo 6.
-There is so such thing as traffic when driving the GT-R. When other cars see it coming they get the hell out of the way.
Chuck Norris now drives a GT-R.
thanks to
http://www.iheartauto.com/blog/?p=1137
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by alpine_aw11
