Behold my epic text message pwnage:

Chris(Me)- Merry Christmas, Hope you have a good and safe one
My friend Alan-You too. Marry Christmas.
Chris - I don't think you can "marry" a holiday (it's"merry" dude)
Alan- Shut up, I take it back then, fuck your Christmas.
Chris- I just might fuck it, on our honeymoon, ya know, since I am marrying it and all?