Your eye contact with the camera was between 1-3 out of 10, def needs fixing. Don't know how much time they gave/give you to rehearse the script, but do it as much as u can, had no smoothness. Video yourself at home, do it in front of friends, or family. Little body movement was good, but after that no body movement while you were talking, loosen up. All in all for first time, and practice makes it better. Post up when you get your next one up.