Fml update vote which u like :-)

1. Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his*arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML*

2. Today, I found out my Mom is in Florida. How did I find out? It was her facebook status. When I wrote on her wall to ask her about it, she immediately deleted my post. So I posted again. Delete. And again. Delete. FML

3. Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

4. Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

Lol which u like