The Retard in a Trans Am got PWNED!!!!!
Last night I pulled up to a light and there was an LS1 Camaro there to my right. We looked at each other, and he says, "Mutha****a your car looks fast." So I casually glance down at my speedometer to make sure it's still reading 0 mph. It is, so I go, "Nope, it's not, says 0 mph." And then that jackass had the nerve to throw a mailbox at me that he just ran over! Well he hit me right in the forehead and I was very upset, so I took the mail out of it and started flinging it at him. So naturally I said, "You've got mail, mutha****a." There was a playboy magazine in there so I kept that, but the rest I sent at him like Gambit from the X-men and ****ed up hs face! Once I was done slinging Harry Potter's mail, and the owl that somehow got in there, I looked up to see that the light had turned green!
"Time for high performance driving," I said to my talking hamster that I keep in the glove compartment. He fastened his tiny seatbelt, and I undid mine, cuz I'M ****IN DANGEROUS, my grandma says. I push the gas really hard and my automatic takes off! The LS1 takes off right behind me, and all of a sudden I hear all these whistles! I figure it was just some bitches standing on the side of the highway whistlin at me because I'm sexy but I was wrong. He had 3 superchargers! They were suckin so much air that Hamster started getting blue in the face and he says, "Can't........ breathe........ push......................... NOS." There was no time to waste, I had to save Hamster. Instead of pushing my 11 NOS buttons in sequence like they do in Fast and Furious, I pushed them all at once. ZOOM! DAMNCAR took off like a retard out of gym class! The LS1 gave me a thumbs up as I roared past him with my stock exhaust. I knew I was the fastest, having done my fuel pump bypass mod. He was long gone in no time.
Hamster began to regain consciousness, and he looked at me and smiled. I knew that I had saved his life. Thank God for NOS. Paul Walker was down the road hitchhiking and he gave me a thumbs up as I passed him cruising at 153 miles per hour. I got to Rockville in 10 minutes, instead of the normal 45 minutes, because I was in a racing mood and Hamster had jacked up the Asian trance music.
I pulled up to Rockville and everyone had heard about my race because Paul had phoned Vin Diesel and told him about me comin up. So I get there and naturally all the bitches start shovin their boobs in my face, but I'm like, "Bitches, please." Cordeez from supraforums was there and he's like, "You are so damn awesome, can I have sex with your bitches in your car?" And I'm like, "Sure, Cordeez." Then Kanye West comes up to me and he's like, "Must got an angel cuz look at how death missed his ass." I'm not sure why he said that, but I still gave him a high five. Then some guy in a gigantic Winnie the Pooh suit comes up and gives me this humongous hug. It was great, because I just LOVE Winnie the Pooh. After that, people started giving me money because they said I was so awesome, and Cordeez went and installed a single turbo on my car while I was in the back of Starbucks ****in bitches. It was a great nite for me.
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I didnt write this it came from s2ki and the guy who posted it there got it from supra forums
Originally Posted by GIXXERDK
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