Fred's Import Showdown kill
Well friends, Fred decided to grace IS with his presence last Sunday. Sadly something came up, namely some poonanie, and he opted to pursue other ventures. Well, on my way to my booty call, I had to get on I-75 Southbound and cruise down around high falls (aka our hookup spot). For those who don't know or are virgins, you can park out in the woods and fuck for free. Who needs a hotel room when you can toss a blanket on the ground and fuck porno vid style. Anyway, I digress.
So I am about 10 miles from High Falls when this nasty sounding C6 Z06 comes by passing me. I guess my big ''Toyota Power" sticker on the back of the Fit got his attention. Maybe he knew what I was packing, maybe he thought it would be funny to smoke the ricer. The windows were tinted, so I couldn't tell if the passenger was a man, woman, or dog. It looked like all 3 rolled into 1 from my viewpoint, and UGLY is the only word I can think of. To give a visual, imagine swamp thing riding shotgun. So he gets next to me and downshifts. Naturally the arm switch got lit quickly and I made a scoff at his car. If I knew sign language for "What's it like to pay $75k for a cavalier interior" I surely would have said it. Maybe I should start keeping a small dry erase board in the car for such situations.
Well we both were rolling at a steady 70 at this point and just said 'fuck it' and nailed it. I heard his car start to scream, but it became more and more faint. I could see the look on his face through my rear-view mirror as he tried to cope with the fact he just got dragged, like a black man in texas, by a Honda Fit. His look was that of fear, disgust, concern, and sheer puzzlement. I'm not sure how fast I was going, but my Fit-ometer was pegged out. I would say 150 at the most.
So now I get to add a sunset orange metallic C6 Z06 to the kill list. I will admit, this is the first car that I cannot say I put buslengths on, but I won nonetheless.
Surely some folks will say one of the following;
*"Ay, he probably wasn't racing" yes, he was.
*"Aye, nga probably couldn't drive" Not my problem really.
*"I hate you Fred Sanford, because I want to be you" Doesn't everybody!
I'm thinking to get little car stickers to put in the fender fighter pilot style. Who knows, I'd probably run out of room pretty quick.
Please forgive any errors, I know this isn't my usual wonderfully typed post, but was in a hurry.
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Originally Posted by Capt._Ron
