I thought some of these were pretty good.

NEVER SAY TO A COP
>
>1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
>2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
>3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
>4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
>5. Are You Andy or Barney?
>6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
>7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
>8. I pay your salary!
>9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
>10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
>11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
> cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
>12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably
> shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"