These might be old, but I thought they were cute.


Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decided to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. "Nice boobs," says the man, "where do you want the blinds hung?"




Bob calls in to his job, "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm
really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm
not coming into work."

The boss says, "You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like
this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel
better, and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Bob calls and says, "Boss, I did what you said, and I
feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you have a nice house."