is the mother fucking man!
that is all
Johnny Cash
is the mother fucking man!
that is all
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what the hell ever!
he would sooo get whooped by the man himself, Chuck fuckin Norris
Hell yeah man, Chuck Norris would give you a lesson in whoopin ass!!Originally Posted by thinkfast
^^ Tell me that shit won't strike fear in EVERY-FUCKIN-BODY!!!
if chuck norris is running late
time better slow the FUCK down
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Chuck fuckin Norris doesn't read man. He just stares the book down until he gets the info he wants..
chick norris' tears cure cancer
too bad hes never cried
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When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was 10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendys.
So wait... what if an immovable object and an unstoppable force met at Chuck Noris?
edit: Below was taken on the way to Indiana, I did a Chuck Noris pose.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
He also has counted to infinity - twice.
when chuck norris was born, with a full beard, the nurse said "holy shit! its fucking chuck norris" then proceeded to have sex with him. that was the third girl chuck had sex with
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LIRL!!
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
hardcore!
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
chuck norris doesnt tea bag girls, he potato sacks them
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if you can see chuck norris, he can see you. if you cant see chuk norris you may only be seconds away from death
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
lol...
"Chuck Noris doesn't sleep. He waits."
you fuckin up the rotation Hulud.. thats 1
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
chuck norris is 1/8 cherokee. its not in his heritage, its because he ate a FUCKING cherokee indian
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
People feel uncomfortable in Chuck Norris' presence, as he is simultaneously both a rock and a hard place.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU
RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat.
Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't
fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony
of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile
radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris' buddy icon is a picture of Tony Danza fellating himself.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
chuck norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparallelled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. the devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. they now play poker every second wednesday of the month
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Edit: It's because he ate 1/8th of the entire Cherokee Indian population.
chuck norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs
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The only thing stronger than kevlar are vests woven out of Chuck Norris' chest hair.
chuck norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, chuck met all 3 bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement
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After he was stumped by a particularly tricky game of "Where's Waldo," Chuck Norris insemenated all of the female characters in the picture. Nine months later, he gathered all of his offspring and formed a renegade band of mercenaries, which he called "Chuck's Fucks." Norris still patrols the countryside with his offspring, searching for Waldo.
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