Chuck Norris is what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Chuck Norris is what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.
To prove it isn't that big a deal to beat cancer, chuck norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer, only to rid them from his body by flexing his muscles for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong
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Steven Segal is Chuck Norris’ bitch. When Chuck Norris is hungry, he says, "Bitch, make me a sandwich." Steven Segal would then make a sandwich.
There are no disabled people, only people who have angered chuck norris
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Dad did.
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Chuck Norris shot down a german plane in world war two by pointing his finger at it and saying "bang"
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When Chuck Norris helps you jumpstart your car, remember: beard is positive, fist is negative.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't pluck up the courage to tell him
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Chuck Norris has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late he stares at you blankly until you sit back down.
Vin Diesel is the son of Chuck Norris, Vin realised his awesomeness long before Chuck did. When Chuck found out about this he took it upon himself to roundhouse Vin Diesel's hair the fuck off and yell "Chuck Norris isn't having this shit!!" To this day Vin Diesel still is unable grow hair.
after much debate, president truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending chuck norris. His reasoning? It was more humane
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, he kicks himself in the face. the only thing that can cut chuck norris is chuck norris
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Chuck Norris' phone number, 768-634-6873, spells out the word "roundhouse.
chuck norris frequently signs up for beginners karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the sh1t out of little kids
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the quickest way to a mans heart is with chuck norris's fist
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Chuck Norris can satisfy a whale.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and shit it out fully solved.
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Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month - no more, no less - if he needs to or not.
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said "don't worry about it honey" and went into his backyard. He came back 5 minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said "Never question Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris saw the movie, "The Polar Express," and immediately roundhouse kicked his 6 year old son in the face for convincing him to see it.
Chuck Norris doesnt believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris is the world's best actor. Or else.
Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.
The only gold medal Chuck Norris hasn't won at the Olympics is in gymnastics because that is for fags.
Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.
Last one and I'm out, LIRL
There is a little bit of Chuck Norris in each and every one of us. Mainly due to rape.
Same here man, I need some sleep.
Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris house is a Total Gym.
Im out as well
Chuck Norris once met God, the proceeded to roundhouse kick him. Saying Chuck Norris is God
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even though it's a NIN song i just played the video Hurt with johnny cash and everytime i watch it i get chills...
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