Should I feel guilty?

[Master Shake]

I just recently found out a very good friend of mine, John, just passed away. He was a really good guy, and no matter what was going on, he always kept a good humor about it.

Well, he never did have a good relationship with his parents, and he would always talk bad about the way they treated him and things.

Back in highschool, i used to always mess with him about his mom. it didn't bother him(so i thought) and we would always joke about it.

Now, I feel guilty for messing with him so much about it. his cause of death was suicide by gun shot. and i think it might of had a lot to do with his relationship with his family.

should i be feeling guilty about it? even though we would always joke about it, and he never got mad over the situation. a lot of the times, he would say something to me about it and it would just go from there.

on the side note, i would like everyone to keep all his family and friends in mind to help everyone get thru it.

[LizBiz]

Of course you shouldn't feel guilty. It wasn't your fault, you were just being a friend IMO. You couldn't help the relationship with his fam all you could do was be there for him, and ultimately he made his own decision. Craziness, your in my prayers.

[Halfwit]

not to stir the pot, but suicide because you were treated bad as a child?cmon.

i talk bad about my mother, because shes white trash, and put cigaretts before food for us.. but that makes me want to live better and work harder so im not trash.

but to stay on subject... dont blame yourself, blame his mother.

[B18c1Turboed]

Did you sleep with her?

If not yea you should, IF yes..Hell no

[quickdodge®]

should i be feeling guilty about it?

Hell no. I doubt that the last thing going through his mind, besides the bullet, was your ribbing him about his Mom. You probably weren't even on his mind at all. Later, QD.

[Sammich]

Hell no. I doubt that the last thing going through his mind, besides the bullet, was your ribbing him about his Mom. You probably weren't even on his mind at all. Later, QD.

i agree. at most it may have bothered him A LITTLE, because he may have felt that he didnt respect his mom enough to defend her at that particular time. but at the same time, its not your fault not one bit, he had other issues obviously that he had to contend with that he FELT he couldnt deal with. so he felt suicide was obviously the only way to go.

sorry bout the lost of your friend man

[Arm&hammer]

no , you shouldn't feel bad.
but i know for a fact if i was in your position i would feel bad also.

[Master Shake]

he was a good guy. and he would always say his mom was a whore. which i don't know if she was or not, and i would joke with him sayin "you should hook me up with your mom" and shit like that.
i really didn't mean it, it was just a joke.
i don't really know what teh cause for him to do what he did. i dont know anything at all other than the last time i seen him, he was in a good spirit.

i just feel bad though. like maybe if i would have helped him more, maybe he would still be here.

[ksniperfox]

(insert darwin's law here)




no, you shouldnt feel guilty

[VooDooXII]

It's over now man. It's natural for one to feel like they should blame themselves in situations like this, but it was just jokes amongst friends. No need to feel guilty. Sorry for your loss.

[jacktheraper]

Dont feel guilty man, people are going to always make rash decisions. I've been through the same thing with my uncle, shit still gets me worked up. I was arguing really hard with my mom and he was on my side, I had been caught doing some bad stuff while i was a bum and he stood up for me, i never thanked him. he left my house one day after a random visit. the next morning i got the call, of all places a carmax parking lot.

long story short i took it hard, i just took off across state and dipped the fuck out for like a week. didnt even go to the funeral. i went through the stage of "i didnt even say goodbye" and such, but this was REAL he was at my house, joking around and carrying on hours before he did it. I must have picked that visit over in my head a million times since.

You can't help people once they have made the decision in their head. and not everyone is going to have signs or even let it be known that they need help.

Its seriously nothing you did man. just one of those things that some people have to see from experience to actually know what is going on.

[Master Shake]

Dont feel guilty man, people are going to always make rash decisions. I've been through the same thing with my uncle, shit still gets me worked up. I was arguing really hard with my mom and he was on my side, I had been caught doing some bad stuff while i was a bum and he stood up for me, i never thanked him. he left my house one day after a random visit. the next morning i got the call, of all places a carmax parking lot.

long story short i took it hard, i just took off across state and dipped the fuck out for like a week. didnt even go to the funeral. i went through the stage of "i didnt even say goodbye" and such, but this was REAL he was at my house, joking around and carrying on hours before he did it. I must have picked that visit over in my head a million times since.

You can't help people once they have made the decision in their head. and not everyone is going to have signs or even let it be known that they need help.

Its seriously nothing you did man. just one of those things that some people have to see from experience to actually know what is going on.

yea i know. i just feel bad for some of the things i said to him, and how much i would just keep naggin on him about it.
its like, i knew that it could possibly affect him later, but didn't care enough to think it would ever lead to something like this. last time i seen him, about a few weeks ago, we were talking and he seemed like he was doing really well. he got married, had a kid, and all kinds of things. like life was goign really good for him, and things were just getting worse for me(got laid off from work and can't find another job, girlfriend issues, my parents, etc.). he always just seemed like he was full of life, and then *BAM* i hear this and it just leaves me in shock of "woah". i never would have expected for him to do anything like this. it just wasn't him. we've talked about this subject before, and he said to me

"its a pussy's way out! if there is something going on so bad that it would want someone to kill themselves, then they would find a way to fix things to make them better. i believe there is nothing in this world that is good enough to give your life over. there is no depression that will sink you down far enough, and no high that could fly you away from the problem, cause in the end, the problem is still there till you resolve it."

this was during a time when i was feeling down, and i had thoughts of suicide. everything was going the way i didn't want things to go. and he gave me hope to make it thru and that things would be ok, that no matter what happened, life still goes on and all the problems would have their own way of fixing themselves. i feel like i owe me life to him, for helping me get thru one of the worst times in my life. and i, like you said, i never did thank him for it. never got to tell him what a good guy he was and what a true friend he was. it just tears me up, knowin that he helped save me from taking my own life, and i never got to do the same for him.

[willum14pb]

IF he's a big enough bitch to commit suicide then it was nobodies fault but his own. I feel no remorse or sorrow for those you can't "deal with life" especially at a young age. He was a pussy, and he will not be missed. clearly.

[Master Shake]

IF he's a big enough bitch to commit suicide then it was nobodies fault but his own. I feel no remorse or sorrow for those you can't "deal with life" especially at a young age. He was a pussy, and he will not be missed. clearly.

i know it was his own fault. i just don't think he was the type of guy to really open up about his problems.

[MongolPup]

i know it was his own fault. i just don't think he was the type of guy to really open up about his problems.

So do you feel bad for the joking you did or do you feel like you should have been there and helped with his issues? Either way, don't be so hard on yourself. You can't make a person open up if they don't want to, no matter how hard to try.

It's natural to be a bit torn up over this, just look at it as a learning experience of a pretty severe nature.

[Master Shake]

So do you feel bad for the joking you did or do you feel like you should have been there and helped with his issues? Either way, don't be so hard on yourself. You can't make a person open up if they don't want to, no matter how hard to try.

It's natural to be a bit torn up over this, just look at it as a learning experience of a pretty severe nature.

i feel bad for a little bit of both.
i never really did try to get him to talk about what was going on, cause really i had no clue about it. it was the way he acted everytime i seen him that made me think that it was all good. that there was nothign even there really. and to find this out, is a complete shocker to me and the people that knew him. i don't think anyone really seen this coming, cause i never seen him down abotu anything, not matter what it was.

[87 Turbo II]

It's like QD said, he prolly didn't even take it into consideration when he pulled the trigger. Sorry he's gone, but you didn't cause it.

[Master Shake]

It's like QD said, he prolly didn't even take it into consideration when he pulled the trigger. Sorry he's gone, but you didn't cause it.

its all good.
been nice if i could have seen him one more time to pound a few brewskies back.

[phoenixx1]

not at all, his parents will be the ones to bear that on thier shoulders, if you had anything to do with it, you guys wouldnt have been friends....sorry for your loss of a friend, keep ya head up!

[Kevykev]

Feeling guilty is the first emotion that a lot of people experience when it comes to loss. It usually stems from lack of time spent with the loved one.

People always blames themselves for things that are realistically out of their control. Don't feel that way (easier said right?).

[15degvee]

Suicide = weaksauce.

Feel bad if you want, but he couldn't care less about you when he decided to /himself. And I guarantee his fam doesn't feel that bad, he probably never told them to knock it off because it was getting out of hand...

[Master Shake]

Suicide = weaksauce.

Feel bad if you want, but he couldn't care less about you when he decided to /himself. And I guarantee his fam doesn't feel that bad, he probably never told them to knock it off because it was getting out of hand...

as far as i know of, when he was growing up, i didn't spend much time with his family due to events that happened when he was around them
yea weak-way out, but still, he was a good friend to me.

[MrBoostedCRX]

wow thats horrible, sorry you lost your good friend man...

[claybird]

DAMN boi sorry to hear abou that . you never called me back the other day. Call me up bro. Fixed my neo.. Dont feel guilty man.. atleast he is i a better place!