Quote Originally Posted by jacktheraper
Dont feel guilty man, people are going to always make rash decisions. I've been through the same thing with my uncle, shit still gets me worked up. I was arguing really hard with my mom and he was on my side, I had been caught doing some bad stuff while i was a bum and he stood up for me, i never thanked him. he left my house one day after a random visit. the next morning i got the call, of all places a carmax parking lot.

long story short i took it hard, i just took off across state and dipped the fuck out for like a week. didnt even go to the funeral. i went through the stage of "i didnt even say goodbye" and such, but this was REAL he was at my house, joking around and carrying on hours before he did it. I must have picked that visit over in my head a million times since.

You can't help people once they have made the decision in their head. and not everyone is going to have signs or even let it be known that they need help.

Its seriously nothing you did man. just one of those things that some people have to see from experience to actually know what is going on.
yea i know. i just feel bad for some of the things i said to him, and how much i would just keep naggin on him about it.
its like, i knew that it could possibly affect him later, but didn't care enough to think it would ever lead to something like this. last time i seen him, about a few weeks ago, we were talking and he seemed like he was doing really well. he got married, had a kid, and all kinds of things. like life was goign really good for him, and things were just getting worse for me(got laid off from work and can't find another job, girlfriend issues, my parents, etc.). he always just seemed like he was full of life, and then *BAM* i hear this and it just leaves me in shock of "woah". i never would have expected for him to do anything like this. it just wasn't him. we've talked about this subject before, and he said to me

"its a pussy's way out! if there is something going on so bad that it would want someone to kill themselves, then they would find a way to fix things to make them better. i believe there is nothing in this world that is good enough to give your life over. there is no depression that will sink you down far enough, and no high that could fly you away from the problem, cause in the end, the problem is still there till you resolve it."

this was during a time when i was feeling down, and i had thoughts of suicide. everything was going the way i didn't want things to go. and he gave me hope to make it thru and that things would be ok, that no matter what happened, life still goes on and all the problems would have their own way of fixing themselves. i feel like i owe me life to him, for helping me get thru one of the worst times in my life. and i, like you said, i never did thank him for it. never got to tell him what a good guy he was and what a true friend he was. it just tears me up, knowin that he helped save me from taking my own life, and i never got to do the same for him.