fuuny enough, i only use the "F" word in non-emergency situations... for example:

me getting robbed at gunpoint, tweece!: "ahh..SMIRK..good one!"

me being snuck up on by a claw hammer wielding crackhead ~whips around~ : " are you serious? a stanley hammer?!"

me rolling in a flaming truck: "damn...where's my glasses?!"

any other time, the F-bomb flies like paranoid war mongers with nukes.