A Dog's Rules for Christmas
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time.
They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they
will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call
gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They
seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing
how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up
in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations.
Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an importa nt ritual for
your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
a. Don't pee on the tree
b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree
c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree
d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that
smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't
rip them open
e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the
funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to
come visit during this season. These parties can be lots o f
fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
b. Don't eat off the buffet table
c. Beg for goodies subtly
d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here
your manners will also be important:
a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in
other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)
b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house
c. Toler ate children
d. Turn on your charm big time
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may
emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.
DO NOT BITE HIM!!
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