well my friend this is one christian you wont be baptizing into the hellfire of non-belief. i have doubts at times where God is in my life and feel alone sometimes, which inevitably leads to doubt in my mind. but those are very few and very brief moments. i will stick by my faith and my God and my beliefs and not hell nor high water will change that about me. i went 19 years under a veil of smoke believing what others told me was right and that science was our god, the past 2.5 years of my life as a follower of Christ have been filled with peace, understanding, wisdom, knowledge, and love that surpass all understanding. you stick to your faith in nothing but yourself my friend and i will stick to faith in my God. if we run into eachother in the afterlife i will say " sup ". God bless you and keep you and i pray earnestly that one day He will shine some light in your life. God love you my friend.