if a woman can be independent then thats great but i have always like buying something a nice ... at the flea market. haha\ but i think hot head woman are annoying but if u wanna pay for yourself gohead
if a woman can be independent then thats great but i have always like buying something a nice ... at the flea market. haha\ but i think hot head woman are annoying but if u wanna pay for yourself gohead
atleast it runs
I only used the song to introduce my question... My issue is with, I guess, the men that DONT want another mom. They are trying to take care of me, but I dont let them cuz I am so worried about feeling like I owe them something.Originally Posted by Lizbiz101
Nah you're not off topic. Like I said I wanted opinions and different view points. As I stated prevfiously though, I think that marriage is a whole different thing all together. I feel that by the time that marriage is considered both parties should know what role they play and do so accordingly. No, it wont be perfect but by this time you should have an idea of what works and what doesnt work from the courtship stage.I think it has hurt relationships. I was married to a great woman, but there was always a power struggle. And that ultimately ended the relationship. I don't want a mother, I want a wife. I mean a guy wants to feel like he is the head of the household. Not very many men want to feel like they have very little say so or input into the relationship. As a man you are brought up to be the head of the house.. Not owner of that person but not their slave either. As a man it made me feel worthless, even affected my libido.
I still love this woman and miss her terribly
I might be a little off topic as well but.. just felt like venting
But see why let it even get that far if there is going to be an issue about money? If I marry it will be for love. I have dated plenty of men that dont make as much as I do... I have dated a couple that make more. When I date people, the last thing on my mind is, "Can he provide for me?" Probably because I am worrying about whether or not we will click enough to continue dating. Of course over time you will find out who makes what and you will also notice who is the one that pays all the time and can tell if it is expected.
OFFTOPIC A LIL BIT:::
I dated one guy that had no job and would always come over my apt right in time for me to cook dinner. He knew that I would make enough for us to eat, but after a while I noticed that because I was giving him gas money, I was feeding him, he didnt have to do a damn thing and that didnt fly for me. I need someone by my side that is as ambitious and driven as me. We gotta go places and I dont want to drag you there...
I can and have been a hot headed woman... You're right, it is probably annoying, but I dont get to that point for no reason.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
I should have known it was you that made this thread too but the thread title still sorta threw me off.
Anywho...
I do have some what of an issue with the whole Women's "Independent" movement. Some women especially black women take it to a whole other level. Do not get me wrong, it is perfectly fine to be independent in most aspects but do not shun a man when he tries to approach you because he appears not to be up to par with you. I know this not a characteristic that you have but that's for the women that me and you have talked about countless of times.
As far as you're concerned don't stop a man from paying for you if you're out with him. It's not a matter him needing anything in return or him feeling obligated to, it's because that should be an instinct any real man has. Since it's in us to do so when you take that away from us it sort hurts our pride. Unless it's something discussed before the outing
Me for example. I knew good and well that Jovan made substantially more than me. But everywhere we went I paid. There was no argument I never asked her to pay for anything because I felt inclined to.
When I met my wife she was very much so on her own. She did for herself and that was fine in the beginning because she did for herself but when it came to me doing for her she NEVER stopped me. Sure she was reluctant to from time to time but she saw how firm I was and went along with things. Her and I have always been about compromise. and i think i'm rambling.
i was about to delete all of this but i figured i'd let you read it before i did
I should have known it was you that made this thread too but the thread title still sorta threw me off.
Anywho...
I do have some what of an issue with the whole Women's "Independent" movement. Some women especially black women take it to a whole other level. Do not get me wrong, it is perfectly fine to be independent in most aspects but do not shun a man when he tries to approach you because he appears not to be up to par with you. I know this not a characteristic that you have but that's for the women that me and you have talked about countless of times.
As far as you're concerned don't stop a man from paying for you if you're out with him. It's not a matter him needing anything in return or him feeling obligated to, it's because that should be an instinct any real man has. Since it's in us to do so when you take that away from us it sort hurts our pride. Unless it's something discussed before the outing
Me for example. I knew good and well that Jovan made substantially more than me. But everywhere we went I paid. There was no argument I never asked her to pay for anything because I felt inclined to.
When I met my wife she was very much so on her own. She did for herself and that was fine in the beginning because she did for herself but when it came to me doing for her she NEVER stopped me. Sure she was reluctant to from time to time but she saw how firm I was and went along with things. Her and I have always been about compromise. and i think i'm rambling.
i was about to delete all of this but i figured i'd let you read it before i did
Ok, I quoted so go ahead and delete. I gotta pay attention in training...but I will be back.. Oh I have another thread in here... Your Girl's in the Strip Club...YEs Or No...Go give your opinion.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
I should have known it was you that made this thread too but the thread title still sorta threw me off.
Anywho...
I do have some what of an issue with the whole Women's "Independent" movement. Some women especially black women take it to a whole other level. Do not get me wrong, it is perfectly fine to be independent in most aspects but do not shun a man when he tries to approach you because he appears not to be up to par with you. I know this not a characteristic that you have but that's for the women that me and you have talked about countless of times.
As far as you're concerned don't stop a man from paying for you if you're out with him. It's not a matter him needing anything in return or him feeling obligated to, it's because that should be an instinct any real man has. Since it's in us to do so when you take that away from us it sort hurts our pride. Unless it's something discussed before the outing
Me for example. I knew good and well that Jovan made substantially more than me. But everywhere we went I paid. There was no argument I never asked her to pay for anything because I felt inclined to.
When I met my wife she was very much so on her own. She did for herself and that was fine in the beginning because she did for herself but when it came to me doing for her she NEVER stopped me. Sure she was reluctant to from time to time but she saw how firm I was and went along with things. Her and I have always been about compromise. and i think i'm rambling.
i was about to delete all of this but i figured i'd let you read it before i did
I know that you havetold me a thousand times to let the man BE the man. I have issues... you know that. C'mon dude, you have been a witness to 12yrs of my life.. You have seen me morph from all sorts of different characters. I went from super b*tch, to super submissive, to the friend that you now love. I was in an abusive ass realtionship for 5yrs of my life where a slap to the face was my pay back for running off at the mouth. I DID NOT KNOW what a lady should have been treated like. I didnt. You watched me go from guy to guy after that, looking for instant gratification... Then you watched me fall recently, only to be hurt over and over (some caused by me, some caused by them). I think to an extent, I pay for myself because that way when I am done dealing with a person I dont feel that I owe them their money back. I dunno. Maybe I am wrong in my thinking.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
definitely wrong in your thinking..if that idiot 'thinks' you owe them even after ya'll are 'done' then he's a jerk..
Nah, I just feel more like, "I am sorry I wasted their time."
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
what in the world are YOU sorry for?
Dude, everytime I date someone and it fails...I feel like I wasted time and since i cant give that back, I would rather give them the money that they spent back... Yeeaahh uhh, typing that made me feel retarded.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
lol u are my friend (maybe e-friend) however you wana look at it, but yea...that is quite a 'retarded' statement...u have no reason to feel u wasted their time..no offense but i think that abusive relationship still weighs on your mind..HEAVILY
If every time you date someone and it fails then your not suppose to be with that person. It's not ment to work. So don't feel bad. You did not waste any time you, learned something. You take something from each relationship always. Don't feel bad for them, they left a strong beautiful woman and I know for a fact that you come across their minds, no matter what happened. I HATE one of my ex's but for some reason he pops in my mind from time to time.
"You just handle the justice, and I'll handle the revenge myself."
You sir, have a point and I dont think that I will be okay after that and it sucks because some guys dont deserve the treatment I give them.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
yea sometimes i catch the same kind of treatment from the wife because of the abusive relationships (mental and physical) she's been in. i hate to bring it up to her, cuz i know it does nothing but bring back bad memories..so i refrain...but sometimes you gota work around what has happened to you and learn to live with it. hopefully i didnt come across...ignorant
ah....i missed too much of this conversation to be able to interject.....
Not at all. I understand exactly what you are saying. I think that from a personal aspect I go in expecting every guy to f*ck up and when he does it is more of a "I knew it. Now do I want to stay and work it out??" You feel me? I dunno...Oh well this strayed a bit.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
Always room for more input. You always give me great advice.
BeFF <beef>
GECKOSQUAD
i feel u 100%...cuz thats how the wifey was..now she's to the aspect of where in an argument..she'll go to the far end to say 'shes done with it' so to speak and not wana talk about it.
truthfully..i think a bulk of our problems (not trying to throw it off on something else, mind you) come from her past and not wanting to REALLY let it go. it affects her alot, and sometimes its hard to deal with i admit, but her family, her moms at least is on to not let things go and to hold on to it. til this day the wifey is always wondering what people think, and quick to jump the gun...all stems from the abuse, i know
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
