Relationship Issue - Personal Conflict (Kinda Emo)

[Ran]

All I see are excuses. Your only solution is to move to Japan? What makes you think you can survive overseas when you can barely make it here? You seem to have very few marketable skills.

Excuses? Maybe since I'm rather confused at the moment and a little fearful of whatever conclusion I may come to.

As for the trip, I'm not leaving to move. I'm leaving to travel for a while and may discover something about myself. You know, like some divine enlightenment or something of that nature. If I wind up relocating over there, then great. If not, then I'll come back after finding whatever it is I'm looking for and go from there. While I would be further along in life, I'm pretty sure I would feel much better as a person for following thru with what I wanted to do.

I think you're lost and just don't know what to do with your life. We've all been there. Unfortunately, time is not on your side and people tend to slowly fall into depression when dealing with your type of issues. I hope you're not already at that point.

I'm obviously very lost with life and I realize that. I've alose quarrelled with the depression and for the most part, am doing okay I think.

Are you any further along in life since your last post about moving to Japan? I'm going to say no. What does that REALLY say about you? Perhaps you're happy with your humdrum existence, but just can't come to grips with it? What are your ambitions? Do you want to flip Civic parts like the guys on IA and label yourself as a "hustla?"

Further along in life? Depends on what you mean. I'm further along in college, I have my own apartment now, and whatever else society considers to be "further along". Now am I futher along in discovering who I am and knowing what I want to do? Probably not, but like hell am I happy with a humdrum existence. I realize that my future is for me to make, I just have to get all the pieces of the puzzle and put it together. I think that disappearing for a while may help me find some of those harder to find pieces.

Don't take anything personally.

Not at all, I appreciate the analysis and advice. Overall, I'm pretty sure about what I want to do, I'm just having trouble getting things in order and doing it. But like you said before, it's my problem and nobody is going to make it happen but me, right?

As for the girlfriend, we're still talking it over and seems to be settling down and taking a better grasp at the situation. I'm pretty sure she understands the situation but is having a hard time coming to ends with it. As for planning for the trip, I'm applying for a second job now and am downgrading us from a two room to a one room apartment at the same complex. Also, my father is helping me by getting me some cheap beater to drive daily so that I can put the Yaris up for sale and start banking my VA check. Maybe I'll drop it by Ron's lot.