Baby?? No daddy...

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 12:19 PM

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.

**The BUCKY** · 06-11-2007, 12:24 PM

i am fertile. i know from experience

i have a feeling that will be most popular answer on here

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Bucky

i am fertile. i know from experience

i have a feeling that will be most popular answer on here

I figured that I would get that too... Partially why I posted it here instead of the WL.

**efman** · 06-11-2007, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.

i think that the child is much better with two parents, a kid needs a father and a mother in the picture to mature properly, i dont think it would be fair to the kid (especially if its a boy) to not give it a chance to have a father. thats what i think

**quickdodge®** · 06-11-2007, 12:32 PM

I'm with efman. I think it would be a very selfish and wrong decision to do what you are wanting to do. I posted, just the other day about the causes and effects on one parent child raising. I think you'd be doing the child a disservice. Later, QD.

**Kyle** · 06-11-2007, 11:06 PM

Originally Posted by efman

i think that the child is much better with two parents, a kid needs a father and a mother in the picture to mature properly, i dont think it would be fair to the kid (especially if its a boy) to not give it a chance to have a father. thats what i think

Originally Posted by quickdodge®

I'm with efman. I think it would be a very selfish and wrong decision to do what you are wanting to do. I posted, just the other day about the causes and effects on one parent child raising. I think you'd be doing the child a disservice. Later, QD.

Agree with both of these guys.

Having a kid may be ideal for you, but it's not the right thing to do. Think of the kids future and his/her needs, not only your own.

**Bballjamal** · 06-11-2007, 12:33 PM

That would be a hard decision for most men! A lot would think, sweet, I can have sex with her and have no worries of anything, but at the same time, it'd be their child too, and they'd have that attachment! I don't know if I could handle that! I want to see and spend crazy amounts of time with my son (what im shooting for)!

**Clegger** · 06-11-2007, 12:36 PM

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

**Bballjamal** · 06-11-2007, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by Clegger

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

And that statement was dumb as fuck.................

**william_jeff** · 06-11-2007, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by Clegger

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

reps

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 01:13 PM

To the all of the men (Clegger this does not include you) that responded honestly and genuinely, thank you. I was really wanting a male perspective. Considering that most of the comments that I received previously were biased b/c they came from my friends. I needed other points of view (except for you Clegger.)

Originally Posted by Clegger

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

Listen love, you can call me a selfish bitch all you want but in all honesty it must have been your mother that was a selfish bitch when it came to showing you how you speak to a lady. If you thought that your response was going to be met with kudos and cheers you are a worthless piece of shit that thrives on the attention you receive on the interwebs. OoOoOo..."Look at me, I came up with a good come back to some random bitch in a thread I didnt have to come into with my ignorance." I am glad that you came into it and posted. You showed your ignorance and how you were a waste of sperm and egg for your parents. Your mom should have swallowed you. At least then you would have come out as what you were destined to be...Shit.

**Clegger** · 06-11-2007, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

Listen love, you can call me a selfish bitch all you want but in all honesty it must have been your mother that was a selfish bitch when it came to showing you how you speak to a lady. If you thought that your response was going to be met with kudos and cheers you are a worthless piece of shit that thrives on the attention you receive on the interwebs. OoOoOo..."Look at me, I came up with a good come back to some random bitch in a thread I didnt have to come into with my ignorance." I am glad that you came into it and posted. You showed your ignorance and how you were a waste of sperm and egg for your parents. Your mom should have swallowed you. At least then you would have come out as what you were destined to be...Shit.

No I did not come on here striving for attention I made that comment because sleeping with a homeless guy would probably be the best outcome for what you are looking for.

No guys out there are going to willingly get a woman pregnant if they cant be a part of it. I was actually shocked and outraged by your comment that it drove me to say what I had to say.

That someone can be so selfish to use another man just to produce a kid and then shut them out like they are nothing. Other people who posted think the same thing they just said nice words... I didn't. Get over it

And if you think taking a stab at my late mother (RIP May 20th 2007) is an appropriate thing in your book. You are just as ignorant

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by Clegger

No I did not come on here striving for attention I made that comment because sleeping with a homeless guy would probably be the best outcome for what you are looking for.

No guys out there are going to willingly get a woman pregnant if they cant be a part of it. I was actually shocked and outraged by your comment that it drove me to say what I had to say.

That someone can be so selfish to use another man just to produce a kid and then shut them out like they are nothing. Other people who posted think the same thing they just said nice words... I didn't. Get over it

And if you think taking a stab at my late mother (RIP May 20th 2007) is an appropriate thing in your book. You are just as ignorant

I made my comment the same way you made yours...Out of my ignorance because I know as much about you as you know about me. You can be outraged and upset, but at the same time you should probably read thoroughly before responding. I asked for advice, not to be belittled. I wanted honesty and no bullshit, which you provided of so adaquetly. I took a stab at your mom the same way you took a stab at me without knowing me. Dont get your e-feelings hurt homey. If you start something you should be able to finish it. Dont be a pansy now. Take it like a man..Oh wait we established that you arent one. How about just get the fuck over it and get the fuck out???

**Extrememustang** · 06-12-2007, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by Clegger

Go sleep with a homeless guy you selfish bitch. Oh yea and btw your every poor ghetto black guys dream. You should have posted this in the Idontneednobabysdaddy.com/forums

wow

**BTEC** · 06-12-2007, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by Extrememustang

wow

yeah that shit had me pretty steamed how he just went off like that. and then to throw in the ghetto black guy thing. I let it ride but just to put it out there, my pissosity level hit max boost when i read that.

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-12-2007, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by BTEC

yeah that shit had me pretty steamed how he just went off like that. and then to throw in the ghetto black guy thing. I let it ride but just to put it out there, my pissosity level hit max boost when i read that.

I think everyone's did...He is actually a decent guy. Well at least through PM's. I mean think about it...It is easy to attack people you dont know and have no background on. He made a couple of dumb remarks...So did I. It is squashed.

Pissosity?? lol...Love it!

**BTEC** · 06-12-2007, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

I think everyone's did...He is actually a decent guy. Well at least through PM's. I mean think about it...It is easy to attack people you dont know and have no background on. He made a couple of dumb remarks...So did I. It is squashed.

Pissosity?? lol...Love it!

glad to hear it got squashed. I realized u wasnt that made over it so i let it go. gotchow back hommie. U dnt know nun bout that max boost though. maybe ill school u one day.

**speedminded** · 06-13-2007, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Extrememustang

wow

wait a min...i knew i'd seen that car somewhere before! You were parked up front at the fights at Wild Bills the other night...the HRE's caught my eye across the parking lot

**Bballjamal** · 06-11-2007, 12:38 PM

And I agree with EfMan and QD also!

**quickdodge®** · 06-11-2007, 12:40 PM

Here is what I posted in another thread:

Originally Posted by quickdodge®

Marriage has been shown to provide a safe haven and good moral upbringing for children. Children brought up in a married home are less likely to be brought up poor, uncivilized and irresponsible.

Later, QD.

**efman** · 06-11-2007, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by quickdodge®

Here is what I posted in another thread:

Later, QD.

thats a good quote qd, reps to you !

**Bruce Leroy** · 06-11-2007, 12:54 PM

Bad Idea. NO matter how capable you are of raising a child by yourself, Its better for the child to have both parents in their life. NO matter what anyone says, having one parent is not the same as having 2.

**Clegger** · 06-11-2007, 12:55 PM

oh geeze i forgot how easily people are offended on this site

truthfully slowlybtngu you should look at adopting, and what is your reason about not liking artificial insemination??

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 01:18 PM

Thank you again to the responses. QD yours does mean the most to me because I have read your other stuff previously talking about your kids and their achievements. Now at the same time, do you think that it is possible to have two people come together and raise a child even though they have no relationship (other than friendship) amongst themselves?

**quickdodge®** · 06-11-2007, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

QD yours does mean the most to me because I have read your other stuff previously talking about your kids and their achievements.

I appreciate that, but I don't want to take all the credit for saying the same thing that others have posted.

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

Now at the same time, do you think that it is possible to have two people come together and raise a child even though they have no relationship (other than friendship) amongst themselves?

If I were forced into a "YES/NO" answer, I'd go, 100%, no. I think a situation like that would be very stressful for all 3 parties involved. As far as the child is concerned, he/she is going to realize the living accommodations going on(Mother and Father sleeping separate beds). This will be an awkward arrangement for the child to go through. He/she will come to realize that this is not your normal family growing up. A woman's feelings change drastically during pregnancy and after child birth. A woman is going to want to raise a family as a complete whole. Father, Mother and child. It's easy to think and type this now in the initial stages of a future plan, but as time progresses, and you too, things may change. It's all a part of the "mothering instinct."

I think it would be very hard and stressful to have a man and woman living in the same house as friends raising their child. And, as stated above and although probably easier than living together, having the man and woman living apart while both raising their child can be just as hard. On the child.

Now what I said can not be applied to all situations. But I can guarantee you the greater majority of it can be. Later, QD.

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by quickdodge®

I appreciate that, but I don't want to take all the credit for saying the same thing that others have posted.

If I were forced into a "YES/NO" answer, I'd go, 100%, no. I think a situation like that would be very stressful for all 3 parties involved. As far as the child is concerned, he/she is going to realize the living accommodations going on(Mother and Father sleeping separate beds). This will be an awkward arrangement for the child to go through. He/she will come to realize that this is not your normal family growing up. A woman's feelings change drastically during pregnancy and after child birth. A woman is going to want to raise a family as a complete whole. Father, Mother and child. It's easy to think and type this now in the initial stages of a future plan, but as time progresses, and you too, things may change. It's all a part of the "mothering instinct."

I think it would be very hard and stressful to have a man and woman living in the same house as friends raising their child. And, as stated above and although probably easier than living together, having the man and woman living apart while both raising their child can be just as hard. On the child.

Now what I said can not be applied to all situations. But I can guarantee you the greater majority of it can be. Later, QD.

Thanks man. I have thought this all out and while yes I have doubts and insecurities, I did need to hear other people's opinions. Considering that normally friends to tell me what I want to hear I needed to hear opinions of those outside my circle.

Thanks again...Oh and Killer...Maybe you should read the posts.

**Killer** · 06-11-2007, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

Thanks again...Oh and Killer...Maybe you should read the posts.

why??? you're point is you want to raise a child and not deal with the father.... if there was more to it than that you would have posted it in the original thread, and explained yourself there...

i'm not saying you're a bad person.... at all.... you may have your reasons for not wanting a man around...

i just think it's an extremely stupid idea to purposely raise a child without a father.

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Killer

why??? you're point is you want to raise a child and not deal with the father.... if there was more to it than that you would have posted it in the original thread, and explained yourself there...

i'm not saying you're a bad person.... at all.... you may have your reasons for not wanting a man around...

i just think it's an extremely stupid idea to purposely raise a child without a father.

I do not need the father in the picture but I did state in the original post that he is welcome to be a part of the child's life. It is more of a statement where I am making sure that it is noted I am not tryin to "trap" a guy into being with me. That is why I said you should read.

**Bballjamal** · 06-11-2007, 01:32 PM

wOOt, I love my real chicks on IA! I have no problem with you clegger, but that was just a dumb statement on a more serious topic of this site!

**Killer** · 06-11-2007, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

OK, so I want to have a child and have considered all of my alternatives for pregnancy, and even though I want a child... I dont want to deal with a father. I know that sounds odd but I am not sure how to explain it to people. I am fully capable of having and taking care of a child by myself but cant bring myself to do artificial insemination(sp?) but at the same time I feel odd explaining to a guy that I am trying to get pregnant and dont really need him in the picture. If he wants to be there that is fine...But I just dont want any drama when it comes to the raising of the child.

What are your opinions? I am just kinda wondering what everyone else thinks.

i'm not even gonna bother reading the posts in this thread..

this is one of the most efed up things i've ever heard...
who are you to decide that your child doesn't need a father?!?!?!?!?

seriously one of the most retarded threads/ideas i've ever seen....

**quickdodge®** · 06-11-2007, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by Killer

i'm not even gonna bother reading the posts in this thread..

this is one of the most efed up things i've ever heard...
who are you to decide that your child doesn't need a father?!?!?!?!?

seriously one of the most retarded threads/ideas i've ever seen....

Wow. Judging another. How appropriate. Later, QD.

**Killer** · 06-11-2007, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by quickdodge®

Wow. Judging another. How appropriate. Later, QD.

show me again where i judged anyone???

pretty sure i said retarded thread/idea.... not person....

**quickdodge®** · 06-11-2007, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by Killer

show me again where i judged anyone???

pretty sure i said retarded thread/idea.... not person....

Nevermind. I guess I should have made it easier to understand. Carry on. Later, QD.

**Killer** · 06-11-2007, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by quickdodge®

Nevermind. I guess I should have made it easier to understand. Carry on. Later, QD.

yeah... maybe....

**cornercarver78** · 06-11-2007, 02:24 PM

Why don't you look for a guy that you would like to spend your life with that you think would also be a good father? It's not out of the realm of possibilities. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic but it just sound like you've given up trying to find the right guy.

**Killer** · 06-11-2007, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by cornercarver78

Why don't you look for a guy that you would like to spend your life with that you think would also be a good father? It's not out of the realm of possibilities. I'm not trying to sound sarcastic but it just sound like you've given up trying to find the right guy.

^^^^^^^^^^ i agree with this guy....

why not look for a husband/soulmate/life partner whatever instead of some one to be give you a bastard child....

**quickdodge®** · 06-11-2007, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by Killer

^^^^^^^^^^ i agree with this guy....

why not look for a husband/soulmate/life partner whatever instead of some one to be give you a bastard child....

Why not try to post and give advice instead of being, ...well....your usual Christian acting self? I'm way worse/better than you are at providing witty, intelligent, well thought out, rep-receiving sarcastic posts than you and even I know how to be serious and post accordingly to a simple query. Later, QD.

**SLOWLYbtngU** · 06-11-2007, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by Killer

^^^^^^^^^^ i agree with this guy....

why not look for a husband/soulmate/life partner whatever instead of some one to be give you a bastard child....

Why not? You do realize that marriage is not for everyone and at the same time a possibility for everyone, right? I am a little bothered by the fact that everyone seems to see a family as consisting of a father and a mother and yet we all know that single parenthood is prevalent in America. The same country founded on Christianity and yet we cant seem to keep marriages together...Hmm.

I am taking many opinions into consideration but do not tell me that a child cannot grow to be an amazing person without their father in the picture. IT happens all the time and at the same time it is something that is frowned upon in society. I love how some of these posts make it seem like I am cold-hearted and a bitch, yet I am the one asking for advice instead of just going out and doing as I please and calling the future father a "sucker" when I get what I want.

I know that I am going to be judged in life and that isnt a problem for me, but at the same time please look at yourself first. I have yet to act on anything that I am typing and yet I am being judged by Bible pushers that live their life fornicating and participating in things that Jesus wouldnt be too proud of...But it is ok... "Cast the first stone," right?? (and killer this isnt just for you.)

**Killer** · 06-11-2007, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by SLOWLYbtngU

Why not? You do realize that marriage is not for everyone and at the same time a possibility for everyone, right? I am a little bothered by the fact that everyone seems to see a family as consisting of a father and a mother and yet we all know that single parenthood is prevalent in America. The same country founded on Christianity and yet we cant seem to keep marriages together...Hmm.

I am taking many opinions into consideration but do not tell me that a child cannot grow to be an amazing person without their father in the picture. IT happens all the time and at the same time it is something that is frowned upon in society. I love how some of these posts make it seem like I am cold-hearted and a bitch, yet I am the one asking for advice instead of just going out and doing as I please and calling the future father a "sucker" when I get what I want.

I know that I am going to be judged in life and that isnt a problem for me, but at the same time please look at yourself first. I have yet to act on anything that I am typing and yet I am being judged by Bible pushers that live their life fornicating and participating in things that Jesus wouldnt be too proud of...But it is ok... "Cast the first stone," right?? (and killer this isnt just for you.)

again, i'm not basing anything i said on religion.... and i'm not saying a child can't grow up to be a great person.. they can... and i've seen many that have...

but for that child there will always be something missing,(i've seen it, and dealt with it) i don't know if you had or didn't have both of your parents... for the most part i've had mine.. they were divorced though.. and it wasn't a pretty one at that..... there were many times i "wished" my dad was there to show me how to do this, or teach me how to do that.... let me work on his car with him... the things a father should be doing.. and as a child i was robbed of a lot of that.... there were times i was with my father as a young child.. and i did get to do some of the things a son should do with his dad.... so i'm not asking for a pity party.. just giving my insight.... like i said, i completely missed where you said the father could be in the childs life.... i read over it more than once, don't ask how, but i did...

**william_jeff** · 06-11-2007, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by Killer

again, i'm not basing anything i said on religion.... and i'm not saying a child can't grow up to be a great person.. they can... and i've seen many that have...

but for that child there will always be something missing,(i've seen it, and dealt with it) .... there were many times i "wished" my dad was there to show me how to do this, or teach me how to do that.... let me work on his car with him... the things a father should be doing.. and as a child i was robbed of a lot of that.... there were times i was with my father as a young child.. and i did get to do some of the things a son should do with his dad.... so i'm not asking for a pity party.. just giving my insight.... like i said, i completely missed where you said the father could be in the childs life.... i read over it more than once, don't ask how, but i did...

such a true post, edited for the same things i had to deal with

Originally Posted by BluesClues

I have to agree with majority in this thread. It is extremely hard and tough on the child growing up without a father. My father died when I was two. I constantly envy those with both mother and father. I will never know what it feels like to call someone daddy. To be "daddy's little girl." I want those things so bad that my heart hurts. I feel that there are so many things in life I missed out on because my father isn't around. You know, the special moments only a father and daughter can have. Plus I have a sister I have never met and probably will never meet. You have to also consider that. Do they have other children? Will my child get to meet them? It's a lot of factors in that equation. I just don't think it is a good idea. If you want your child to be happy, give them what they will need and will be thankful for in the future. Think about it

quoted for truth also

IMO that child will grow up with thoughts of having their father in their life. i know my sister took it hard and so did my brother when my father died, even though i am the youngest, they still at the same time wish that dad was their.

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