I used to have a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was
in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?). . .(here's your sign). . . On impulse
I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 lbs. before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially
a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was
going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled
with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I had been poisoned by the
food and that is why I ended up in the hospital. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt
and a car hit me. I thought the checkout guy was going to die on the spot.




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